Lyndon State College - Northern Lights Yearbook (Lyndonville, VT)

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V E R L Y N Parody On “The Duel” By ELSIE TUCKER (With apologies to Eugene Field) Dear old Kelty and Faulkner fat Side by side on the reserve shelf sat; ’Twas half past ten, and (what do you think!) Nor one nor t’other had slept a wink! Old Mr. Beard rubbed his shiny pate And seemed to know as sure as fate There was going to be a terrible spat. (I wasn’t there: I simply state What the fellow told with the shiny pate!) Old Mr. Kelty went, “Ow-ow-ow!” And massive old Faulkner replied, “My Cow!” The air was littered, an hour or so, With bits of Pilgrims tossed to and fro. While Mr. Beard in the same old place Up with his hands before his face, For he always dreaded a public row! (Now mind: I’m only telling you Verlyn Circus By FLORA OSGOOD On Friday, November 9, not 13, the Verlyn Circus, the greatest, most stu- pendous show in the world favored Lyndonville and places nearby with its awe inspiring presence. Women fainted and people were trampled underfoot by the mobs in the ’Ville who tried to get a closer view of the parade. Down the street it came led by the Misses Kathryn Munn and Phyllis Coburn, carrying a banner, fol- lowed by the band, resplendent in uni- What the honorable Mr. Beard de- clares is true!) Beard’s old pate looked very blue, He wailed, “Oh dear! what shall I do!” But Mr. Kelty and Faulkner fat Wallowed this way and tumbled that, Employing every charter and law In the awfullest way you ever saw— And, oh! how the Pilgrims and Indians flew: (Don’t fancy I exaggerate— I got my news from Beard’s shiny pate!) Next morning, where the two had sat They found no Kelty nor Faulkner fat: And Miss Fernow thinks unto this day That someone stole that pair away! But the truth about the two old pups Is this: they ate each other up! Now are you really surprised at that! (Old Mr. Beard he told me so, And that is how I came to know.) form and blaring forth in all its proud array. Then followed amid exclamations and great cheers the most bewildering- ly ingenious floats ever seen in this part of the country. Theodore Elliot’s car, decorated under Letha McLam’s direction, with red and white pennants, balloons and two clowns, served as the school float. Donald Doyle’s car, in charge of Rowena Baker, and taste- fully decorated with streamers and [24]

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January - 1938 was leaving. “Yes?” “After you drive, are you ever hun gry?” “I’m always starved? Why?” “I thought we might have dinner to gether some place.” The crowd roar- ed; he started and blushed. That micro phone again! Building A Pyramid In V History Class By RUTH WALKER For more than four thousand years that massive memorial, the Great Pyr- amid of Gizeh, has stood unchallenged upon the burning sands of Egypt, peer- less in grandeur, supreme in achieve- ment. and unexcelled in magnificence until the year 1937 A. D. What soothsayer of 2900 B. C. could have foreseen that a mere four thou- sand eight hundred and thirty-seven years afterward, over the grains of dust on the floor of Room 13, there was destined to arise another Colossal Glory, unparalled before in the history of man? The courage, the foresight, and the ingenuity it required to obtain the lime- stone blocks alone is an example of the stupendousness of this undertaking. Messengers were sent to the distant corners of the earth to order countless tons of this material, in the shape of ungainly cardboard boxes, often deli- cately frescoed with spectacular heiro- glyphics (which the skillful appliance of several layers of calcimine would not wholly conceal). The Egyptians can boast nothing of the effort it required to roll their mas- sive blocks up the inclined sides of the Great Pyramid. As compared with the treacherous ascent up Institute Hill and the maneuvering of those unwieldy boxes through three entrances and a crowded passageway, it was nothing. Furthermore, who can estimate the perils encountered in creating this noble edifice, the danger of being en- closed forever while laboring in its gloomy interior, or of becoming for- ever a permanent part of its walls through too close contact with the ad- hesive tape. Behold, now, how peerless the struct- ure stands, how gracefully its sides slope away in exquisite symmetry to- ward the horizon. From the lofty summit, if one dared risk ascent, lies revealed below the City of the Dead. This may be viewed from eight o’clock in the morning un- til four o’clock at dusk. Alas, the futility of man and his ac- complishments. Must all crumble away to dust and oblivion? The Glory of Room 13 at least has been spared such an indignity. Rather did we prefer to see our Wonder of the Modern World disappear in one last heroic flame sky- ward and perish amid the ashes. [23]

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January - 1938 more clowns, represented the Fresh- men; a mock wedding and the Dionne Quintuplets followed. The Junior Float, whose chairman was Mrs. Hildred Duke, presented the modern teachers in one car, a smart roadster, followed by the old-fashioned teachers in another, a not-so-smart sedan. An open truck, with sides removed, carried the Senior Float. Sitting in all her glory (still puffing from the exces- sive exertion of climbing aboard) rode a fat lady, surrounded by a monkey, a ballet dancer, and two clowns. The antics of the latter were severely limit- ed, however, by the ever present fear of falling off the truck as it moved slowly forward in jerks and starts. Doris Spencer was in charge. The last float introduced a poignant note of sadness into the parade. Hand- kerchiefs were whipped out as tears of pity filled the eyes of many spectators. For there now came into view, dragged by Hovey and Simonds wrecker a long black coffin. A sign “L. N. S. Faculty —The Circus Did It,” told the sad and gruesome tale of woe. Would the spirits of the dear departed faculty let the circus down? Or would they re- turn that evening for the events to be staged in the gymnasium? After the parade dormitories buzzed with excitement as costumes and prop- erties were returned and borrowed again for the evening performance. Cries of “Who’s going to fix my face?” and “Where’s my moustache?” echoed through the halls. At 7.30 a large group of children and grown-ups was on hand in the gym- nasium to witness the evening show. The first item on the program proved to be a portrayal of an old fashioned school with Miss Hodges as “teacher” and the faculty as pupils. It is to be hoped that Mr. Hapgood did not get Athlete’s Foot from going barefoot on the gymnasium floor, and that other members of the faculty did not catch cold from exposing their knees to the cold November air. And now the sideshows filled the spectators with thousands of thrills. A spectacular dance by the “hula-hula” girl from the South Sea Islands, Sarah Bass, was presented to a crowded “tent”. While Senorita Grace Hubbard, the palm reader, peering into the future, found there a man for many of the fair girls of L. N. S. The World’s fattest woman, Isabelle Mugford; the world’s tallest woman, Ruth Walker; and the world’s shortest woman, Irene Robin- son, presented so queer an assortment that those who saw them were led to wonder if by chance they had not stray- ed into some land of make-believe. The next act in the circus introduced the Hill Billy Band combined with the Glee Club, consisting of thirteen stu- dents singing and playing combs while one played a Hawaiian guitar. Dis- cords there were, here and there (prob- ably caused by the change in climate since they had come all the way from the Kentucky hills) but the selections were rendered, otherwise, with vigor and precision in the manner of good troupers. Then followed the most spectacular, death-defying stunts and rope climb- ings that the Eastern part of this coun- try has ever seen. The clowns, a spe- cial troupe, sent by Barnum Brothers by special request, certainly did their stuff. [25]