Lyme Central School - Ontarion Yearbook (Chaumont, NY)

Page 19 text:

We advise LIZ WILDER to go into the waffle business. She certainly has had a good start on it. We advise ANN YOTT to start growing. We hear the next generation is going to be taller. LARRY AUSTIN, after the well-known referee-stabbing incident of 1961, is now center for the Alcatraz five. His motive for murder was that he believed he was unjustly accused of making five fouls in the first two minutes of play in a game between the Nats and the Celtics. BRENDA BALL, on her recent trip to Disneyland by pogo stick, was apprehended by the authorities. She is now awaiting treatment at the Indiana State Home for the Be- wildered. LARRY BARR, undefeated flagpole-sitter champion of the world, has accredited his suc- cess to his remarkable ability to sleep anywhere at any time. BILL BECK, the president of the Board of Education of LCS, has just made the news- papers by producing free milk for all students and giving consent to a six-weeks' winter vacation. SHARON BEVENS was fortunate enough to marry the well-known English aristocrat Lord Tightwallet. Lady Tightwallet enjoys her daily fox hunts with the young Tight- wallets. She also added that it does wonders for the waistline. LESLIE COMINS had the honor of opening the first gasoline station on the moon. Comins' Last Chance Station is getting plenty of business from out-of-planet rockets. STEPHEN FOSTER, owner of the largest garbage dump in the nation, is at present suing the manufacturers of garbage disposals. Good luck, Steve. JIM GARRETT, once a newsboy, is now owner and editor of the Three Mile Bay Times and has received a Pulitzer Prize for excellence in local gossip. ROBERT GREENE is now truant officer for the town of Lyme. He is very successful in this job because of his amazing familiarity with school-boy pranks. JOHN HENTZE, once the Koolest Kat in Greenwich Village, has been kicked out for having too clean a sweatshirt. GAIL HILLICK, owner of Aunt Gail’s Pizza House, has people coming from all over the world just to taste her exotic pizzas.

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I. ANN YOTT, leave my ability to blush easily to Wally Tyler. We hereby appoint as executor of this, our final will . . . Alfred E. Neuman of Mad We advise LARRY AUSTIN to become a coach and write a book on basketball. We advise BRENDA BALL to go to work for MAD Magazine. Her diabolical sense of humor would be very helpful (?) to the editor. We advise LARRY BARR to get more than four hours of sleep each night or get the whole- sale price on No-Doze. We advise BILL BECK to start a dairy farm. He seems to have gotten a good beginning from his father. We advise SHARON BEVENS to apply for a job as bookkeeper for Governor Rockefeller. After handling the funds for the Seniors, she should be able to handle anyone's. We advise LESLIE COMINS to hunt for a girl. He seems to do OK where animals and birds are concerned. We advise STEPHEN FOSTER to write a song entitled Sandy with the Dark Brown Hair. His namesake seems to have done all right. We advise JIMMY GARRETT to buy a helicopter so he can get ahead of the Canton Clan. We advise ROBERT GREENE to become a traveling salesman for a tobacco company. We advise JOHN HENTZE to start his own jazz band, modeled after Spike Jones. We advise GAIL HILLICK to take up dietetics and come back to manage the Lyme Cen- tral cafeteria. We advise SUZANNE LYNCH to get started now on the prize-winning novel she will someday publish. We know how long it takes her to write a mere paragraph. We advise ELAINE NORTHROP to keep up on her driving. Maybe someday she will be asked to join Steve Cochran and his Helldrivers. We advise DAVID PETERS to keep his attractive personality; we wouldn't know him without it. We advise LEO PETTEY to purchase the Cape Vincent to Watertown bus route and start operating buses leaving Chaumont hourly. We advise SUSAN RICHARDS to become a member of the Olympic swimming team. We advise FRED WALKER to build a bowling alley mid-way between Chaumont and Three Mile Bay and keep one alley reserved for himself. We advise SANDRA WALLACE to keep practicing her yodel. Maybe she'll get to sing a duet with Roy Rogers. We advise FAITH WARNER to keep up her good work in homemaking. In the future she may become Homemaker of the Year. We advise JOE WEILER to keep his great knowledge of Physics. He may become one of the world's greatest professors in the field of physics. Magazine. The Class of 1960

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SUE LYNCH, mother of ten, has been named Mother of the Year, However, she is being sued for divorce by her husband who claims that the children are suffering from malnutrition. ELAINE NORTHROP was the sole owner and proprietor of an enchanting and romantic cocktail lounge. She was at the peak of success when she lost her license for serv- ing only minors. DAVID PETERS, bat boy for the Dodgers, is working his way up and is learning the fine points of baseball from the experts. LEO PETTEY has successfully dredged the Chaumont River by hand to permit ocean- going vessels to reach Depauville. SUE RICHARDS, long a lover of gum, is now the owner of Susi-Chew Bubble Gum fac- tory. She claims that bubbles blown with her gum are guaranteed to come out square. FRED WALKER, a successful bum in New York City, is known by his cohorts as Freddie- the-free-loader. If any of his friends want to visit him, he'll be found on the third bench from the west end of Central Park. SANDRA WALLACE is operating an exclusive clothing shop. She has always been a great lover of clothes, and many attribute her success to the fact that she spends millions each year investing in her store. It seems she is her own best customer. t FAITH WARNER is now the matron of an international orphanage. She loves all the little kiddies dearly and is constantly looking for donations. JOSEPH WEILER, the famed professor of Analytic Geometry at Harvard University, has just been elected President of the National Association of Teachers of Mathematics. LIZ WILDER has literally gone to the dogs. She now lives happily in Alaska, mar- ried to a high school sweetheart, and they are raising huskies. The last report from Liz was Mush! Little ANN YOTT is the wife of a dealer in foreign cars. He was quite an inventor also. He invented a special type of foreign car that repels other objects. Ann's driving has greatly improved, we are happy to hear.