Lyme Central School - Ontarion Yearbook (Chaumont, NY)

Page 18 text:

I. ANN YOTT, leave my ability to blush easily to Wally Tyler. We hereby appoint as executor of this, our final will . . . Alfred E. Neuman of Mad We advise LARRY AUSTIN to become a coach and write a book on basketball. We advise BRENDA BALL to go to work for MAD Magazine. Her diabolical sense of humor would be very helpful (?) to the editor. We advise LARRY BARR to get more than four hours of sleep each night or get the whole- sale price on No-Doze. We advise BILL BECK to start a dairy farm. He seems to have gotten a good beginning from his father. We advise SHARON BEVENS to apply for a job as bookkeeper for Governor Rockefeller. After handling the funds for the Seniors, she should be able to handle anyone's. We advise LESLIE COMINS to hunt for a girl. He seems to do OK where animals and birds are concerned. We advise STEPHEN FOSTER to write a song entitled Sandy with the Dark Brown Hair. His namesake seems to have done all right. We advise JIMMY GARRETT to buy a helicopter so he can get ahead of the Canton Clan. We advise ROBERT GREENE to become a traveling salesman for a tobacco company. We advise JOHN HENTZE to start his own jazz band, modeled after Spike Jones. We advise GAIL HILLICK to take up dietetics and come back to manage the Lyme Cen- tral cafeteria. We advise SUZANNE LYNCH to get started now on the prize-winning novel she will someday publish. We know how long it takes her to write a mere paragraph. We advise ELAINE NORTHROP to keep up on her driving. Maybe someday she will be asked to join Steve Cochran and his Helldrivers. We advise DAVID PETERS to keep his attractive personality; we wouldn't know him without it. We advise LEO PETTEY to purchase the Cape Vincent to Watertown bus route and start operating buses leaving Chaumont hourly. We advise SUSAN RICHARDS to become a member of the Olympic swimming team. We advise FRED WALKER to build a bowling alley mid-way between Chaumont and Three Mile Bay and keep one alley reserved for himself. We advise SANDRA WALLACE to keep practicing her yodel. Maybe she'll get to sing a duet with Roy Rogers. We advise FAITH WARNER to keep up her good work in homemaking. In the future she may become Homemaker of the Year. We advise JOE WEILER to keep his great knowledge of Physics. He may become one of the world's greatest professors in the field of physics. Magazine. The Class of 1960

Page 17 text:

Cj ass 7.)i We, the SENIORS of 1960, of LYME CENTRAL SCHOOL OF CHAUMONT in the county of JEFFERSON, state of NEW YORK, being of incompetent and inept mind, do make, pub- lish, and declare this our last WILL and TESTAMENT in manner following, that is to say: FIRST: To MR. WRIGHT we leave the office vacant so that he can use it once in a while. To MRS. SILVER we leave 17. 3948 3 37 tons of used staples. To the BUS DRIVERS we leave brooms and dustpans to clean up spit-balls, paper-wads, and other miscellaneous messes which the students of Lyme are bound to make. To the JANITORS we leave bubble-gum remover to clean up the gum which we have adroitly placed in various corners of the school. To the JUNIORS we leave the lockers outside the library with the stipulation that each shall have his own to cluttter up. SECOND: I, LARRY AUSTIN, will my many girlfriends to Ronnie Talbot. I, BRENDA BALL, leave peace, serenity, and happiness to Mr. Van Schaick. I, LARRY BARR, will my ability to sleep in class to John Northrop. I. BILL BECK, leave my truck and milk cans to my sister, Janice, to pick up where I left off. I, SHARON BEVENS, will my ability to chew gum in class without getting caught to Paula Madill. I, LESLIE COMINS, leave my love of the outdoor life to anyone who wants to get his feet wet. I, STEVE FOSTER, leave my exuberant personality to Jane Klock. I, JIMMY GARRETT, leave my ability to get blamed for everything that happens in English class to Elgitha Jones. I, ROBERT GREENE, leave my height to Merlin Dodge. I, JOHN HENTZE, leave my job of filling the candy machine to anyone who gets hun- gry during study hall. I, GAIL HILLICK, leave my ability to find my way through the cafeteria in the dark to Kate Mumford. I, SUE LYNCH, leave my nerves to Coach West. After Driver Ed. this year, he needs them more than I do. I, ELAINE NORTHROP, leave my job in the cafeteria to anyone who wants to get out of 4th period study hall. I, DAVID PETERS, will the presidency of the Student Council to any junior who thinks he is capable of surviving it. I, LEO PETTEY, leave my interest in science to Allen Piche. I, SUSAN RICHARDS, leave my ability to drive without a permit and not get caught to Jim Madill. I, FRED WALKER, leave my curly black hair, blue eyes, and long eyelashes to Mr. Dodge. I, SANDRA WALLACE, will my ability to keep out of trouble, by not getting caught, to Jenifer Ross. I, FAITH WARNER, will all my boyfriends to Ada Davis. I, JOE WEILER, leave my perseverance in taking Plane Geometry to Gail Warner. 1, LIZ WILDER, leave my place on the cheerleading squad to Judy Chavoustie.

Page 19 text:

We advise LIZ WILDER to go into the waffle business. She certainly has had a good start on it. We advise ANN YOTT to start growing. We hear the next generation is going to be taller. LARRY AUSTIN, after the well-known referee-stabbing incident of 1961, is now center for the Alcatraz five. His motive for murder was that he believed he was unjustly accused of making five fouls in the first two minutes of play in a game between the Nats and the Celtics. BRENDA BALL, on her recent trip to Disneyland by pogo stick, was apprehended by the authorities. She is now awaiting treatment at the Indiana State Home for the Be- wildered. LARRY BARR, undefeated flagpole-sitter champion of the world, has accredited his suc- cess to his remarkable ability to sleep anywhere at any time. BILL BECK, the president of the Board of Education of LCS, has just made the news- papers by producing free milk for all students and giving consent to a six-weeks' winter vacation. SHARON BEVENS was fortunate enough to marry the well-known English aristocrat Lord Tightwallet. Lady Tightwallet enjoys her daily fox hunts with the young Tight- wallets. She also added that it does wonders for the waistline. LESLIE COMINS had the honor of opening the first gasoline station on the moon. Comins' Last Chance Station is getting plenty of business from out-of-planet rockets. STEPHEN FOSTER, owner of the largest garbage dump in the nation, is at present suing the manufacturers of garbage disposals. Good luck, Steve. JIM GARRETT, once a newsboy, is now owner and editor of the Three Mile Bay Times and has received a Pulitzer Prize for excellence in local gossip. ROBERT GREENE is now truant officer for the town of Lyme. He is very successful in this job because of his amazing familiarity with school-boy pranks. JOHN HENTZE, once the Koolest Kat in Greenwich Village, has been kicked out for having too clean a sweatshirt. GAIL HILLICK, owner of Aunt Gail’s Pizza House, has people coming from all over the world just to taste her exotic pizzas.