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Page 107 text:
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r A FLAT Orchestra Leader: What key are you playing in? Player: Skeleton key. O. E.: Skeleton key? flaier: Yes, it fits anything. CAUSE AND EFFECT Teacher: What are the properties of heat and cold? Pupil: The property of heat is to expand: cold to contract. Teacher: Now give me an example? FEETIT' In su er, when it is hot, the-days are long: in winter, when it is cold the days are short. ABSENT Wife: Good gracious, Oswald,where's the oar? Absentminded Professor: By Jove, I remember givihg somebody a lift and when I got here I got out and thanked him for his kindness! CONCRETE CASE nThe thing for you to do,n said the doctor to the man with frazzled nerves, 'is to stop thinking of yourself. Bury yourself in your work.n nWow!n exclaimed the patient, nI'm a concrete mixer!n THE DIFFERENCE Friend: I'd have that tooth out if I were you. Sufferer: I'd have it out too, if I were you. COLLECTIVE Miss Siverd: Give me three collec- tive nouns. Freshman: Fly-paper, waste-basket, and garbage can. 1 0 5 KNOCKING Salesman: Yes, sir, this used car iE'the opportunity of a lifetime. Prospective Buyer: Right! I hear it knocking. GOOD KNIGHT! Mr. Karkos: When were the so-called Bark Ages? Bright Pupil: During the days of the knights! FRESH GREENS Soph.Cshowing friend around the col- Iegeja And over there is the green- house. Friend: Oh, I see--the freshmen's dormitory. OUCH Ee: I had a date with a professional mind reader once. She: How did she enjoy her vacation? HIS PLACE A coach was giving some final in- structions to his team before the big game of the season. Suddenly he turned to a sub that hadn't seen ac- tion all season and said: nwhat would you do if we were on their ten yard line and pass?n The sub pondered for a while and finally said: nln that case I would probably move further up the bench to see better.n they intercepted our SUCCESS Son Cproudlylz Well, Dad, I've just Eueceeded in raising two dollars. Dad: Fine! It's.good to see.a young man become independent of his father How did you do it? Son: Got it from Mother.
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Page 108 text:
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SOUND nUnto those who talk and talk, This proverb should appeal, The steam that blows the whistle, Will never turn a wheel. HELP Student: Teacher will you help me with this problem? Les: I would only I don't think it wguld be right. ON THE SPOT Caller: How much are your rooms? Landlad : From five dollars up. Caller: Too much. I'm a college student. Landladyz Five dollars down. I I 3 Mama: What did mama's little baby l?5 n at school today? Wickham: I learned two fellows not to call me nmama's little baby.N THE DIFFERENCE What's the difference between ncau- tion' and ucowardice?n Well, caution is when I'm scared and cowardice is when the other fellow is. COME IN Three men named Jones, all in the same business, opened shops next door to each other. The one on the right, had the name nJonesn painted in large letters over the door. The one on the left immediately did the same thing. The sign painter then approached the center Mr. Jones and asked if he would like his name painted also. nNo,n said the wily one, I want you to paint the word nEntrance'over my door. l O 6 I - -- . . I .-... ., ' - , -1- Q..-.. INDIRECT. ' f I Civics Teacher: Can anyone give me a sample of indirect tax? N Pupil: The dog tax. fe- eacher: Why is that an indirect tax? Pupil: Because the dog doesn!t pay EXCUSE . . . .... ..,,, , Miss Siverd: Donald, you know that you mustn't laugh in the schoolroom. Donald: I know, ma'am. I was only smiling and the smile burst. WATT? Mi. Karkos: Children--you are going to get an Intelligence Test. Has anyone an idea of what type ques- tions it will contain? Copio: Yes. How' long is a short circuit? 'TWAS HARD nPa,What is the Board of Education?' nwhen I went to school, son, it was a pine shingle!n ALERT Em loyer: Are you a clock watcher? Man Zapplying for jobjz No, I don't Tire inside work. I'm a whistle listener. SPECIAL REQUEST Diner fto conductor of restaurant bandfz Do you play anything by re- quest? Conductor: Yes, Sir. Diner: Well, go and play dominoes till I've finished my dinner. CLEAR Lost Dey tg Lady: Have you seen a lady in a fur coat without a little boy that looked like me?
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