Lucy Webb Hayes National Training School - Gleam Yearbook (Washington, DC)

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THE GLEAM Miss Spohn: When I get to l1eave11 I am going to ask Tennyson if he wrote all those poems? A Alta: 4'What if he isn't there?i' Miss Spohn: Then you ask him. I have always been religiously inclined, said the oyster as it slid down the minister's throat, but I never dreamed I would enter the clergy. '1 he size of a. man is determined these days by what he owes. And then there is the absent minded professor who had the students write the examina- tion questions while he answered them? Miss Decker fin Religious Classy: 'lYe get the devil from Persiaf, Miss Gordon: You should put your hands over your ll'1Ol1tll when you yawn. Bonnie: 4'VVhat? and get bit? Then there is the Scotchman who carried his date to the movies because babies in arms are admitted free. A Verna: What is that smell in the lil:rary?', Mrs. Cheever: It,s the dead silence they keep there. Helen: How long does it take you to dress inthe morning ? Sweetie: About half an hour. Helen: Only takes me ten niinutesf' Sweetie: I Wash. A Faculty member fdemonstrating with graphic outline on the blackboardl: Now watch the blackboard and I'll go through it again. Boss: Well, did you read the letter I sent you?,' Mildred Sweet: Yes, sir: I read it inside and outside. On the inside it said, 'You are fired,' and on the outside it said, 'Return in five days,' so here I am. Autoist to Mechanic: 'tDo you have something to stop knocking ? Mechanic: Certainly. ' Autoist: Well, will you kindly pour a gallon down my wife's throat ? Do you know that- The place for the knocker is outside the door? Truthfulness in work is as much in demand as truthfulness in speech? The faculty will miss thc seniors next year? Rust Hall has a big day each year-BAZAAR DAY ?-no joke. Procrastination is the thief of time? A boost is better than a kick? Character is better than gold? - To help is better than to shirk? To do is better than to wish? Patience is better than worry? Frances Calkins fto hubby, apologexticallyl : 'CI took the recipe for this cake right out of the cookbook. Husband ftactfullyl : You did quite right, darling. It never should have been put in. E751

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THE GLEAM If there again should be a Hood For refuge hither fly, For if the world be all submerged This book would still be dry. Starrie linstructing her little brother how to be polite when out in OOIIIIJRIIYZJ Today we are going out for dinner and if they have chicken and ask whether you prefer the light or dark meat, you must say, 'I like both and will take eitherlf' Time comes for the little fellow to make his decision and'-, he, upon being asked, makes this reply: I like either and will take both. Miss Hebrew: Miss Morrison, I can't go on duty today? Miss Morrison: Why, Miss Hebrew?,' Miss Hebrew: I don't feel wellf' Miss Morrison: 'Where donlt you feel well ?', Miss Hebrew: On duty. . Miss Quick fto Miss Spohnh : Do you take many magazines in your home ? Miss Spohn: Yes, we take three at Club rates-one dad does not like, one mother does not like and one no one will read-but we got them all for 5'B7.00. V Catherine Frey fpreaching her first funeral servicel: This member has been a corpse of this church for forty years. Martha Barner: I wish someone would explain to me why it is that a red cow can eat green grass and give white milk which makes yellow butter. Miss Sweet: VVait until you study Mendel's Law, Martha. Martha: Suppose you tell me since you study that. Miss Sweet: I cannot tell you for when I came. to Mendel's Law I stopped studying. Miss Didget fin Dramatic Art Class, making her first entrancel stumbles over a chair and then asks: 'fMiss Decker, do I come in this way? Martha Barner: IVhat is a College ? Mildred Sweet: A College is human hot-house specializing in the sheltered raising of individuals who would be normal if left alone? Ki Miss Condy is a.tl1ankful soul VVhenever she is able, One day she asked a' blessing On a. very empty table? Miss Martin: Do you want 'Right Living' this week ? Miss Quick: No, I donlt need it. Miss Decker in Church History class: We can surely clean up the Eastern Church by tomorrow. A ' If you walk in your sleep be sure to take carfarc to bed with you. Miss Crist: Hey! Miss Eckman: VVhat?', Miss Crist: Just wanted to tell you that you have two more hours to sleep. l74l 'C

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THE GLEAM Rust Hall now has everything to make its students feel at home even to creaky floors and windows that rattle all night. Miss Blisard fto the seller of dirigiblesjz ls this dirigible safe ?,' Proprietor: Safest on earth. You're rrazyj' said the mattress to the quilt. Miss Calkins fin Sewing Classy- 'lOf all sad words of tonque or pen Tlihe saddest are these, 'Rip it out again'. Miss Gordon: Miss Sweet, what do we mean by 'Prophet'?', Sweetie fmueh disturbedjz That's when the Seniors buy candy for 5 cents a bar and sell it for ten. Miss Ross finstrueting class about visiting lYalter Reed Hospitaljz Now, girls, you must remember not to talk to 'hearti easesf' The rising generation retires about the time the retiring generation rises. Age 6-Father gives lVillie roller skates. Age 12-Father gives lVillie bicycle. Age 18-Father gives lVillie college education. Age 23--College gives VVillie diploma. Age 24-Father gives Willie a job. Age 24 and 3 days--Father gives lVi1lie up. There are three kinds of peorle in the world-the YYill's, and XYon'ts and the C lllt,S. The first aecomplish everything, the second oppose everything, the third fail in everything. Wherein do you stand? Page Miss Quick!! S' At timesf, said the girl, you seem to be manly enough, and then at other times you are absurdly eifeminate. Why on earth is it ? A Er-Ah-heredity,', he answered. 'iHeredity ? Y es. You see half my ancestors were men and the other half women. I76l