Loyola University Maryland - Evergreen / Green and Gray Yearbook (Baltimore, MD)

Page 17 text:

THE LOYOLA ANNUAL 15 fre i man picnic ' ' a la ' ' i onxer (With apologies to Lang, Leaf, and Myers.) S ING, O muse, of the loud-socked Freshmen, who wan- dered far from their ancestral hearth, e’en to the wide- famed land of Gwynn Oak. Tell me, O goddess, how some did ride the madly plunging trolley car, and some did hit the pike; yea from the wooden walls of Electric Park. Now the recreant Brown of Freshman came not forth at first, but was found only half-accoutred for the fray; and he did join the expedition. So came they all to the land of Gwynn Oak. And then they did disport themselves upon the plain, whirling the elusive sphere beneath Aurora’s eyes. But soon they went to prepare a frugal feast, so that they might feed their hunger with simple fare ; some indeed gathered sticks, lest they should have no flame to make hot their portion of cow. And when they were satisfied, being of good cheer, the light of battle shone in their eyes, and they were divided among themselves. For some forded the swiftly rushing river, and stood on rocks in the midst of the sour-faced stream, while others made dark plans upon the bank. Now the ox-eyed Dorsch, and the warlike Ayd advanced to the attack. Standing afar back from the seething rapids, they heaved huge stones into the wet liquid water and made the Freshmen on the rocks feel like unto wash-tub heroes, so splashed were they with the Prohibition beverage. Then Gal- ligher, he of the sad visage, spoke winged words unto each Freshman on the bank : “ Dog-face ! Come but to the water’s edge, and thou shalt receive a goodly drenching that will make

Page 16 text:

14 THE LOYOLA ANNUAL Good old jovial Horace, too, would recognize as friends that class whose motto is, “ Carpe diem,” and would hold out a welcome hand to those ‘‘ bon vivants,” who like himself, quaff the old Falernian (or its equivalent, which would probably be “ Budweiser ” or “ Schlitz ” now-a-days), and echo his words “ nunc vino pellite curas.” He would find that men were just as anxious to raise a cloud of dust in the race course ” (metaphorically speaking, of course, for the pres- ent day), as in his own times. In fact, very few of us would pass before his ken whom he would not recognize as an old acquaintance, and his smile would grow broader and broader as he realized that his views of human nature were in the main, true for the past, the present, and probably will be true for all time. I fear that our vaunted civilization would not dazzle the eyes of the ancients, were they permitted to revisit earth. For after all, mankind has changed but little, and the same passions, desires and ambitions animate him as did in the olden times, of which the Literary Classics are the most splendid relics. Could we realize how little the world has really advanced in the last twenty centuries ; did we understand in how many respects we still resemble the old Greeks and Romans, in how many of their vices and passions we share, we would not think so highly of our much boasted twentieth century. John H. T. Briscoe, ’10.

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16 THE LOYOLA ANNUAL the Johnstown flood look like a South American revolution! ” So spake he, but the opposing heroes laughed in mockery. In vain did the immortals launch great timbers off the opposite shore; the river god wafted them far from the reach of the imperiled Freshmen on the rocks. At last Fortune tipped her scales anew, and smiled once more on the heroes. Anon they make a charge, and the terrible Neuner leads the thundering van, and after him came the noble Galligher waving his loud- sounding necktie, and after him all the huge lion-hearted host together with the god-like allies. Then the tawny-haired Dorsch was smitten with fear, so that he and all his men were more swift of foot than brave of heart. But the warlike Freshmen tracked him along the water’s edge ; and then the death struggle did e’en begin. So now the hefty Galligher laid violent paws upon the ox-eyed Dorsch, and the thrice mighty Neuner uprooted a towering tree, v hich, when he poised above his crest, the struggling Ayd did wrest from him and hurl over the other tree-tops. And the im- mortals shouted “ encore !” from across the stream. Even thus did they battle, heroes, warriors, and allies; until at the last the fighting Dorsch was forced unto the river and his men were overpowered. Then spake the victorious Freshmen, “ Into the wetness with the wretch ! Sacrifice him to the river god, that the cheesy old skinflint may be propitious to us.” And the despairing Dorsch started a piercing moan ; yea, twice he moaned like the last wail of the Republicans in Maryland, and then, shoved by relentless hands, dropped into the gurgling waves. Now the water rose up to meet him, so that the dark deed of revenge was complete. But the ox-eyed Dorsch dis- entangled himself from the river god’s embrace, and raged and fumed and smoked with vapor and sent up clouds of steam by the fire, like a Chinese laundry in full blast.