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ЈУНУ ОБА COLLEGE REWVIEEA — Say! he ejaculated, “where did you learn the art of story-telling? Why can't you cut out the trimmings and keep to hard facts? Never, in all my travels, did I ever hear such spineless blah and bunkum as you, Jim, can pass out! '. . . then love smiled on me like an unclouded sun!’ . . . can you beat that for a quotation? No wonder you couldn't finish what you started! Any- how, here you have old J. C. Baxter, large as life, to give this story the quietus—I suppose you'd say dénoue- ment, Jim, but I'm betting that I'll get there just the same with ‘quietus.’ ' Now, turning to Wilkins, ‘‘if you can put up with my style, which isn't as good as Jim's here, but just as effective, ГИ soon bring this yarn to a quick finish, and I don't mean per- Һарв.” “Well, in the first place, it seems as though Surofski wasn't the only Romeo on the block. Before Jim got half a chance, he was so far gone on that girl that if you asked him his name he'd say eight o'clock. Poor Jim! He's a good scout, and I thought better of him, but any man who falls as hard as he did for a slip of a girl ought to be quietly led away and exterminated.” I squirmed in my chair as Bob Wilkins indulged in an inane titter. But, to get back to this story, Baxter continued, looking at Bob, “іс appears that Jim really did go around to see Surofski, didn't you, Jim? What happened there would make another story, but the low-down of it is that Jim here got on his dignity from the statt and demanded that Surofski keep away from the girl or he'd see that he + did. Now, in the first place, Surofski was hot-headed. Besides, he had just lost two good jobs. So was it surprising that Surofski up and hit him over the head with a violin? After this there was a general mix-up. Who won, you say? Ask Jim if you like, but I believe it was the landlady. She was a match for the two of them, and said she wouldn't stand for no fighting in her house. “I never saw Surofski again. There was a rumour that he went back to Russia, and I'm hoping it's true and he refuses to come back. Jim got over it all in time, but even now when he gets a brain wave and suggests new ways for me to make money, I just ask him which veces musician he has in mind, and ittle J. Cornelius has the Eom for the rest of the session. Which goes to bm of coutse, that whenever a man ets love interfere with his business he isn't worth enough of the proverbial cordite to blow himself from here to there.” And what became of the fair Olga, Mary What’s-her-name?’’ queried Wil- kins. What about the girl, you ask? What a question! I married her, of course! Incidentally,” concluded J. Cornelius, “Т just landed a big contract to bring a shipment of munitions to Vagonia to help kill off the Vagonians. The wife is coming along to help out, and it means fifty thousand cold if everything turns out O.K. Why the surprised look? I ain't done anything! Business, says I, is what you make it! Order up a cocktail, Jim!” KENNETH J. McARDLE, 27.
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