Lowry (DD 770) - Naval Cruise Book

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WHEN THE ZOOMIES COME A ZOCJIVIIN Q? ll is early in lhe morning, perhaps you're slill asleep, Bul lhe Navy's gelling ready lor a lighl upon lhe deep. The sky is kinda murky, lhis early in lh-e morn, Keep a sharp lookoul Gun Conlrol does warn, There may be Japs a-hiding behind lhal overcasl. Then low upon lhe waler, comes a plane across lhe sea, You gel your guns a-blazin' and booming merrily. He doesn'l seem lo laller and he's coming slraighl and lrue, Now he's gol you rallled, and he's coming slraighl lor you. Then al almosl lhe lasl momenl, a shell puls him inlo flame. You nolice your knees are shaking and you'll never be lhe same. Thal was loo close lor comlorl, you are worried quile a bil, You've seen some ol lhe ships lhal lhose yellow baslards hil. Look oul! here comes anolher, someone's quick lo yell: Again you imagine you're spending lime in hell. You know darn well lhis guy won'l miss lor he's really on lhe beam. You can leel your moulh come open and you lhink you're going lo scr-eam. You are really burning powder as lhe ship goes lhrough lhe spray, There isn'l any lime now lor you lo kneel and pray. Al lasl he misses by a hair and crashes inlo lhe sea. Your hair is lurning gray, and al your age lhal shouldn'l be. A cou le more come al ou and b luck you shool lhem down. P Y Y Then il's all over, calch your brealh, relax lhal heavy lrown. You don'l mind lo see lhem bomb lrom high up in lhe blue, Bul you hale like hell lo have a Jap a-suiciding you! R. C. Bowers

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QV mBe:R 1945 ?

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A DISSERTATION ON 'SO-CALLED' NIP SUICIDE ATTACKS Q? lf has come fo fhe affenfion of fhis disinfer- esfed observer fhaf fhe fuss and ado abouf fhe alleged suicide affacks by Jap aircraff on U. S. Ships, parficularly desfroyers, has goffon alfogefher ouf of hand and a sfop musf be puf fo fhis de- plorable sifuafion af once. This arficle, when prop- erly roufed lfhe round file or burn boxl should recfify maffers prompfly. Affer considerable reading of various classified publicafions, dispafches and reporfs on fhis subiecf, a shor'I' four of Roger Pe+er dufy land l ain'f puf- fing in for s.econds l and innumerable conversa- fions and debafes wifh my mosf infelligenf ship- mafes including no less an aufhorify fhan fhe greaf VON SHILLAGH himself, l have reached cerfain conclusions: lf is a well known facf fhaf fhe follow- ing sifuafion exisfs in fhe Japanese Empire. There is an acufe shorfage of Jap aircraff carriers due fo fhe successful acfion of our own forces. Also, fhe gasoline supply in Japan is becoming crifical. The fhird maior poinf is common knowledge-all Japa- nese are shorf-sighfed. Now having fhese poinfs firmly in mind, one can readily see how fhese re- grefable and mis-named affacks develop. The Japa- nese pilof, on perhaps a roufine pafrol, or erhaps geffing in his flighf pay fime, finds himself miles from his base and running ouf of gas. He is desper- afe!! 'Loll a haven!!-a Japanese aircraff carrier!! lln realify he sees a U. S. desfroyer buf due fo his desperafion and myopfic vision fhe poor Jap pilof makes a very undersfandable error., The desfroyer maneuvers errafically and even goes fo fhe exfenf of puffing up a barrage of ack-ack in an efforf fo make fhe Nip pilof realize his misfake. These efforfs are usually fo no avail, as fhe Jap pilof, secure in knowledge fhaf if is a Jap aircraff carrier he is pre- paring fo land on, confinues fo make his approach. ln many cases fhings are so confused af fhis sfage of fhe game fhaf fhe Jap fails fo ieffison his bomb load before making his landing, which carelessness resulfs in very obvious calamify. From fhe above, we can see fhaf fhere is really no such fhing as suicide affacks. lf is iusf a case of misfaken id-enfify. AST any fool can plainly see lah seesl fhese cir- cumsfances are very defrimenfal fo fhe morale of desfroyer crews. Of course, on Roger Pel'er dufy, desfroyers have fhe undivided slympafhy and con- dolences of Delegafe. lTheir boss.l A fypical voice radio conversafion befwe-en DeIegafe' and fhe can runs as follows: Hello Wafer-Log, fhis is Delegafe.-Can you sfill hear me, Over? Af fhis pomf Delegafe plays- a few lines of a popular re- cording fhaf goes l Had 'ro Call You Up This Morning fo See If Everyfhing ls S+iII All Righf l'cause you didn'f sleep a wink lasf nighlzl Occa- sionally 'lhe desfroyer is sfill afloaf and can respond. lf so fhen begins anofher day of franquilify and boredom lLOOK OUT, SHE's IN A DIVE!!!!!l. Anybody can find faulf or analyze. Whaf fhe world needs is correcfive measures or a good five cenf cigar. Nof having fhe laffer, we shall have fo be safisfied wifh fhe former. Correcfive measures in endless numbers have emanafed from my ferfile brain. lNumber One-Gef me fhe hell oufa herell buf only a few have sfood up under close scrufiny and l will gladly pass fhese along fo you for whaf fhey are worfh. One way, which we will pass over lighfly as if'sl fhe cowards' way ouf, would be ef- fecfive only againsf nighf affackss. lf requires a large neon sign wifh arrows and bold Ieffers saying: THAT WAY TO DELEGATEH or 42 MILES TO KERAMA REGRETTOJ' The second possibilily, and fhis is sfricfly a dayfime measure, is fhe esfablish- menf of an addifional G.Q. sfafion on fhe fanfail! A volunfeer will merely have fo man fhe fanfail wifh signal flags or paddles., in fhe manner of landing officers on flaffops, and confinually wave off fhe misguided zoomies. The lasf and besf suggesfion is fo revoke fhe flying licenses of all fhe Nip fly boys on charges of reckless flying. Af 'rhe same fime one hundred recordings: of fhe popular song, Sfraighfen Up and Fly Righf lfreely franslafed info fhe Japanesel will be given wide circulafion fhrough- ouf fhe land of fhe Seffing Sun. -Ensign C. M. STONE. USN.