Lowpoint Washburn High School - Quill Yearbook (Washburn, IL)

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I was on my way when a gruff voice announced, nHey Budln I turned and be- came aware of a shady looking character and a hat pulled down over his eyes. 'Hey you,n he growled. nM-M-Me?n I asked with a quivering nYeah, you. C'mere a minute.n voice. in a dark suit with the collar turned up And with that, a hairy hand reached out, grabbed me by the lapels, and pulled me into a dark doorway nl got something to se1l,n said the mysterious stran er 'W-what is lt?' I as e 'Would you care to buy some tickets to the policeman's ball?n asked o Emery With a sigh of relief I bought a whole book Bob informed me of his repu- tation as the outstanding flatfoot on the police force He pounded the beat more than anyone else After this encounter, I headed for the nearest space station I purchased a round trip ticket to Mars, took my shots and my physical, and climbed into the ship Captain Ronald Hahn greeted me with extended hand and a cordial welcome aboard After a brief exchange of conversation, I asked him how he liked the weightlessness of free space 'It's great except when swallowing aspirin a lets,N he said we took off and soon landed on Mars The first person I met on the street was Marie Beltramea She told me that Roger Ingold and Charlie Keith auctioneers school Charlie graduated, and became world famous as the auctioneer Roger quit the game and worked himself up to head librarian negie Library in New York I asked her what she was doing now, and she drew me aside and revealed that she had secretly entered the Martian business I was glad she chose a vocation that suited her I gave her tation and mailed one each to Roger and Charlie went to loudest at Car quietly chicken an invi I strolled past a zoo where I noticed, of all peoole, Judy Barnes in a cage I asked her what she was doing and she informed me that she was teaching Australian magpies to talk She also was third assistant keeper in charge of boa constrictors She had a way with snakes She also told me that Shirley Hahn had an unusual occupation She gave me an address and told me to look Shirley up The address was a large building on which was hung a large sign The sign read NG1rl Mountain Hahn, the scientific wrestler will give an exhibit on here tonight I walked in, and there was Shirley having a light workout in the ring After tossing her opponent over the ropes, she sauntered over and said hello ' ere did you pick up wrestlin 9' I asked HOh, it just came na turally to me, she said I gave her an invitation and wound up my visit on Mars There was just one person I could not locate Janet Owen I didn't even have her address nOh,well,n I thought, nMaybe Gordon would know where she is I boarded my space ship and took off for Mother Earth On the way, I chanced to urn on the radio The announcer said, and now, La Asphyxio, the cigar that doesn't let you breathe, presents GAG NET, starrlng hiss Janet Owen as detective sergeant Jo Saturday So that is what Janet is doing' I made a note to send her invitation and relaxed the rest of the trip On landing on Earth, I immediately made for Gordon's restaurant To my surprise, the restaurant was closed and boarded up There was Gordon sitting disconsolately on the step with his head in his hands I rushed up 'What's the matterVn I asked With a forlorn look he told me the sad news His baseball team, the Chicago Cubs, had ended up ln the cellar for the last time Gordon was broke That meant that he couldn't stake a class reunion and that I would have to go back and inform all of my old classmates of his economic catastrophe George Alexander As soon as to his job at counting straws miscounted once result of writing this prophecy? The Editors George had handed us his prophecy, he left hurriedly to return the broom factory where he is first Vice President in charge of He's had this job for eleven years now and so far he hasn't No wonder he goes around talking to himself or is that the g . ' ' k d. ' B b . ' t b- : ' . i .. 'wh g.' . - ll . U 0 H I i t I 'Q I U O I I O Q . 1' O O I I I O l U Q .ly ' .

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