Lowpoint Washburn High School - Quill Yearbook (Washburn, IL)

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loads of money. But the taxes she had to pay were so large that the government was even considering taxing her taxes. She was very excited about Carole Robinson though. That very day, Carole was going to at- tempt to swim the English Channel with her hands tied behind her back. Jackie and I rushed over to buy a late newspaper to see if there was any news about her Sure enorgh, on the fifth page there was a piece about her It read nFuneral services will be held for Miss Carole Robinson at the U Oh, well, Carole always W s +he adventurous type I stepped into a drugstore for a glass of atomic punch and sat down beside Ronnie Coleson He told me that he was the star on the VILBERN GLOBFTROTTRRS basketball team I asked him if he liked play ing on that kind mander of our of team and he said, sho do lak mah gob Ah'm jes' the man fo' it n out Ronnie introduced me to Admiral John Gerber, Com Naval forces When I asked Admiral Gerber to what he NYassuh, A On the way attributed his success, he answered 'io my clean living, my always getting a good n1ght's sleep, and my ability to keep away from all women ' truth I had gone returned he had a at the however, Since I had known John in school, I realized that he spoke e Don had now, job back at his own home town of Vashburn Don sweeps floors enlarged cheese factory there He has married a lovely girl, and she helps him with the cheesecake Suddenly,as John left me, I was stopped in m tracks by the sound asked him if he knew where Don Ntske was John said that thro1ah the U of I , continued his studies in Europe and to the U S with his M A , his M S , and his P P D , and of heafenlv music wafting through the air Investigating, I entered an apartment, and there, seated at the piano from whence the music flowed, was Shirley Ficht I was entranced, I hadn't even known she could play the piano She finished the piece, and I applauded, begging her to play another NI c n't,n she said, as she began peddling again furiotslv, H his is the onl piano roll I ha e H It 1 s about an hour la that I heard the astounding news Piss Maxine Funk was returning to earth after spending the last l5 years on No other Earth people had been with her, and all abc had had to to were the N9Ft13HS Crovds ere rxshing to the rock t port to Ma r s talk ' O . . : --- . ,r, a o. . 7 . ' I 4 Q i 5 5- L f . ,, ' ' ' - .h . . . . , , 1 A ' I O ' 111 o s Y Q a I . . . 7 O ' ' th 0 I 7 . . YJ . . . . . . 0 L' 0 , ' . -0 0 . o o D o -0 o . S ' 3 . x ' . . J , , . . . . . J JA 0 N- I - o ' . n . I a . H' , L a ' , g ' ' 1 , T ' ' :Ir ' L AV . . T? - - 4 W - Q 9 U . A47 . , , ' A . , 1 1411 . . 'fel W 1 I , 1 -Q hear her story, so I went along. Before long, the rocket landed, and . ' 1 TI f ,, . ..- 1- .W . .J , I . 1-4 1 A Y' ' X . . we NZ i bx- . ll . I ' U V . . 1 .I , ------- As n Q- I . 4, V v . S . , J on , I ', 'a , a ' ' , a ess. I ' , ,1 g . ' area e ' H , i 1 - Q - d b ' I! ' N 1 ' l V . ' ' ' U ' Ll! 1 . - I . L V1-L . I J - . ' 1 ,' ' , . ' 9 ' - , ' ,. f I . r o , ' , I ', ' , a R, ,a . ' c , . , , ow ' ILV ' , , S Fink,es+eemed explorer of other orlds, stepped forth dramatical with words +hat reeked with wisdom, she spoke, 'Rsapk qtirx zaqno fi L X au eos ck C5 Qffal 7 I left to look for the remaining members of my class I was watching a television set through a store window,I heard the an nouncer say, and now, ladies and gentlemen, H1 s Gloria Anderson' Well, well, so Cloria was a big television actr I always knew she would make good Gloria app r d on the screen and l heard her s y nTry 'Lucky H t cigarett s, frien s They contain quislyn , which, spelled backward, is nvlsiuq I couldn't see too much of Gloria behind that king size package of ci arettes I had to womrney to Korea to find Jewell Winkler and Marl ne Vis sering The war has been ove for years, but Jewell and Marlene say they make more money fighting as lhcs, so tl v take turns shooting at each other Marlene saved Je els' life o , by leaping on a grenade Visa

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she fluttered on down the street then, mutterlng SOmE+h1Hg about vantlng a crack r I was ov rgoyed to see Marlene dolng so well By thls tlme, I had declded to look up all my old classmates so I kept my eyes open It was a good th1ng I d1d, or I would have mlssed the sign outslde an opera house whlch sa1d that they were honored lH havlng Miss Patrlca Logan 1n person ton1ght Good old Pat I knew all the talking she had done 1n hlgh school would strengthen her vocal muscles, and now, here she was, an opera star I went lHS1d6 to talk to her and she asked me 1f I would l1ke to hear her Slhg her newest song h1t of the opera I sa1d I would, so she began, '0h, you remember Grandma's lve soap I'm sure Pat w1ll forg1ve me for leavlng her so qu1ckly, but I remem bered that I'd better f1nd the other members of our class of NSBW I wandered over to some tennls courts, and dlscovered that two of the people playlng were good frlends of mlne, namely, Rosle Splcer and John Trump I talked to John and he 1nformed me that he was still go 1ng to hlgh school When I asked hlm why, he blushed and sald, W ell, shucks, those hlgh school girls are sure a lot of fun He told me that Ros1e was operat1ng a stammerlng school for people who have trouble speaking I turned to Rosie and asked her how she llked helplng people stop stam erlng WOh, I I I l l llke lt f f f1ne,u Sald Rosle gohn told me where Fred Wisenburg llved, so I went rlght over to see 1m Fred was s1tt1ng readlng a story to h1s 2 year old quadruplets when I walked 1n He told me that he was happily marrled and has been worklng for the last 15 years 1U a factory, manufacturlng phonograph needles I asked him 1f he ever got bored dolng nothlng but manufact uring phonograph needles He looked surprlsed and sald, 'Why no' It's lots of fun lots of fun lots of fun lots of fun I closed the door softlr and ran a half mlle down the street I declded that after that I deserved a llttle enterta1nment, so I went 1nto a huge bu1ld1ng wh1ch 3dVBTt1S8d WT9St11Hg for that nlght The flrst bout had already started when I sat down It was between a b1g fellow and a llttle fellow, so I started rootlng for the llttle one, who looked like someone I should know I d1dn't recognlze h1m untll the b1g mug plcked h1m up and threw hlm on top of me Then, as I tr1ed to crawl out from underneath h1m, I notlced that lt wasn't a Nh1m', it s a nher It was Sandy Rae I sa1d hello to her and asked her how she was gettlng along She growled at me and asked me to wa1t and watch her nmolder d1s bumn Then she clambered back 1nto the rlng, and I leaped for the nearest BX1t It certa1nly looked as lf Sandy was do 1ng all T1Uht I found my machlne and set the d1als for Chlcago When I arrlved, about a second later, I stepped out and d1scovered I was on the grassy lawn of a huge, spaclous mansion I wandered 1n the froni door and looked around Then, to my lmmense surprlse, who should come to greet me but my old classmate, John Robbins He lnformed me that he was operatlng th1s rest haven for deranged hot rodders It 1S called the NCute Cottage for Crazy Car K1llers W I wasn't surprlsed when John told me that many of our schoolmates were patlents of h1s He added that there was always a supply of old tlres and lots of matches for whenever a pat1ent w1shes to 'burn onen I just happened to run1ntoJackie Moore on the street 1n Ch1C8gO She looked as 1f somethlng were on her mlnd, so I asked her what lt was She told me that she had taken up stock car raclng and was making fs . . . ., - . . . 7 . - 9 - -, 9 - Q . . . . , Q . . . 0 3 1 . . . . . . . . , c g g . . 1 . . o . . . , .3 Q . U 9 -1 1 V ---- . . . . ,, - I - 0 . . . . . . . . , , .- . . , , .A . . W 0 . . . , A . o ' I - a . . . . . - - -Y - - - . I . .. 4 . . . . A .. .. C A 9 .L . . . . . . . .. 1 . . , . . Q nn 1- -an . I - 0 U , . . , J u 0 I 1 I 9 ' W n l . 0 , . . . . . . o . . . . - 1 0 . . . . W3 4 , Q , . , 1 . . . . 0 . . . 0 Q .- . . . . - - 0 ' ' . . I A O Q 'J ' o - c , . . , . - . 1 - . . . I I . o , . . , J C , . . V O . . . - . g .l. - ' ., . -. H

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thrown at them and cover1n9 lt w1th her body as lt exploded She re covered, and even remarked that she got a h1v bang out of lt As I was about to leave Marlene and Jewell, a mlzhty flgure ln ol1ve drab stalked up and shouted, WAttent1on' Left face' About face' At ease' Shoulder arms'n It was El1zabeth Prlnzlnger, who was the command1ng offlcer of our fe male armed forces She told me she was trylng to become a general, so she could be elected Pres1dent I w1shed her luck and left Korea Verna Mae D2V1dSOU I f1nallf found 1D New York She 15 the Chlef SClPHtlSt at a huge laboratory Verna 15 WOPk1HE now on a meCh3UlCa1 lung to take the place of a real lung She has already perfected many other art1f1c1al parts for the body I asked her who she exper1ment d on to test her mechan1cal parts 'It s qu1te s1mnle, she sa1d, WI Ju t rrrrrrrr Cclankl +hat is, I fraspl clanr'l P1ck1nv up an o1l can she squ1rted a shot 1n o a glass and downed lt h NAh, that's better,n she S1 hed, UNow as I was STY1 g W I told er to Sk1D lt and left Norma Clark wasn't too hard to flnd R9m6Wb9T1hU her when she was 1n hlvh school, I made my w y fo the nearest church The was, surrounded by her congrevatlon, pre1ch1nv a powerful sermon on 'The S1ns of Man I llstened for awh1le untll lt sounded l1ke she was collectlon plate From VHTIOUS sources I l arned that Don Scrl n 1, the last of my classmates, was stfferlng from a broken heart H1 latest q1rl had j1lted h1m, and he as very sad about lt all I was startlng across the Brooklyn Brldpe when I saw Don He was stand1n9 1n the m1ddle of the brldv 100k1HP down at the water I be gan to run toward h1m yell1np at h1m not to Jump, that no woman 1S worth that prlce, He looked bo+h ways and moved closer to the edge as I reached h1m ' op amed Don t o 1t' What w1ll your fr1ends th1nk I graobed hlm by h1s lapels and shook hlm vlolently ut e sald, N ut, alw ys throw my garbage 1HtO thf r1ver He held up a paper sack NOh , I sa d He threw the sack 1nto +he r1ver and walked away, 100k1nF at me klnd of queer llke I ttrned, th1nk1nP of my classmates nd how they were WBHd1Df thelr separate ways alonv the path of l1fe, then I looked down at the water and decwded lt mlvht not be slch a bad 1dea at that Wr1tten for publ1cat1on by, JOHN PHILLIPS III H J . 3 . . In A . . - , 1, , , ., . . . . . 1 . . ? , . . . . ' I n - . ' , . 0 4 1. .. C I . . . Y v. ,g 8 I Il I ' t 'il Y' ' S ---. --D A ---. U ' -- --C 1 - - . . . c . L ,A - . . I A ' 4 ' f. 1 'n ---- . . 9 n 0 A. . 5 ' , U - A, ., Q I f . re she I - 11 - IZ - C- -0 - ' - O 'I talk1ng about me, then I left. Besides, they were about to pass the A N ' o 5 , ' if C ' U L Q r 1 ' , ,, , 'S .vi ' ', w I ' . n 1. U J . 1: f ' ' . ' . l 9 . , 1 f 0 1 I . W U - .Q I . ' N 'St .' I scre .. . ' d ' . 1 . . . - 7 NB II, h ' B I V- qi A4 K ' , ' .N 1 A . , . N 5 i . . , - . . 1 ., .Ai ' ,S 1 Q- . ,L ' A . . ,N c ..