Long Island College Hospital - Lichonian Yearbook (Brooklyn, NY)

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'EE IT ye, l .fi Fi in ii ,ii E, Hi H Ei ,El ll. all li' Y Eli W 2 iw S5 lil. 'll ill U igii ll, 5? Nfl, :lil l ll ggl li el he tl Jil. itll Wi ,fsi-35. fs-rf 1 5' '- x g-,ve -, , -1 ni? .wi ll - r, 1-zgigkftvafhr ygglflegf-r Hf.-,1 9 'gigpiefl latilaetsi lialtll 151923 w 1534353 1, r fs:-1, gi' iii W i. - rffi. I !-- A I 1 .tri ., , 5- -. : .ul .f,l'l'lg,n fl CLASSIFICzlTION OF PROFESSORS l. The Lead Pipe Cinfh:-Very popular, never Hunks anyone. Sometimes teaches something. ' 2. The Holy Tw-rm'.'-Flunks fifty per cent., is consigned to damnation dailyg students study for his examination and forget him and his subject as soon as possible. fl.. Thr Psemlo-wif.--Eulightens his lectures by reverberations of ancient jokes. All the students know them by heart and everybody laughs in the right place. 4. The Sporty T5'pr'.'-Wears a checkered suit, asks the baseball score, calls the young ladies my dearfl 5. The Deadly Bore:-Reads from the textbook 5 a sure cure for insomnia. 6. The Forfigm Alvcezzt.--Keeps the students so busy guessing at the words they don't get the sentences or the sense. IT lSN'T THE COST, IT'S THE UPKEEP A New York jury recently awarded a woman 540,000 for the loss of a leg. The latest court decisions, as assembled by Case and Comment, show the value of a woman, completely assembled as: Legs, QQ s4o,ooo. . . Arms, QD S-l2,500. .. . . Hair . ......... Nose .......... Eyes Q 210,000 . . . 80,000 85,000 20,000 15,000 20,000 Broken heart . . . . . 250,000 :E-170,000 This teaches us that a first class Wife should be given at least as much care and attention as an automobile. LnFs3 Lv'r'rL.e Jonas ffflf f, f' ff! , L, We. K i' W, ' l e 'is' f, sex 1 ll f I ? --- --- ' .7 , A MEDICAL 5T-.-nam' was Butt DSNAY Hg :run-an venv HRRD 80714 meurnuo DAY msn naman Hs'r'ao,g ,quo Mcontsln Masai HE Ffmsueb Stuonl. HTTHC HEAD DF Pl'5 wana Graeme l buBl-aw WMM? in 60011 ns s1'ubicD HT'l7f1Eb -Nnsuusfl HE Cauur. RT 2,-mess ANA FhfU'E5 mm .Swing Chlfcs HE SPENT ELL HIS NISAT-1 HND MOST DF 51,455 HIS DAYS fe. Tj NDN Donna g'5,4,qy 15 Qurre RN OLD MAN. Bur 577 u. Buvs srurr cw we WHALLNGNT PLAN ,,,,,,,.,,.,,,,.,, ,W of-it-,CE :pq ms enmity, Ann mans Poli Tue GMD OF Hv W 'V ywtg Pgnfeswz Mnamw DoesNof1 'KHJMG Hg 5,955 svmvmlqg In mx an Rv'-I-S Revert ms mme nu spun in rms 'MV SHURI' 'Ms ron, ng Lsalefvsn Jus-r How To ADJUST -mg smue! - NFN loN-'2l- 5 ' !! T'L',5T':v-Q ii:-M, .L Page Iwo hundred and v11!vf'n

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ROUNDS By zz Patient on lfffard F , The Johns Hopkins Hospital Hush! lt's roundsl Close the doors And cut the racketg Here's the Doc in his white jacket, And the students are Hocking to the call: Now the nurse is at attention, And it might be well to mention That the patients are delighted least of all. Pst! It's rounds! First, they'll sound you And they'll pound you, All the while they walk around you Looking wise, and using words as big as h-5 You've got this or that dreadosis or arterio-sclerosis- Survive the diagnosis and you're well. ?-It's rounds! All the students flock about you- Goshl VVhat would they do without you? And try to look as though they under- stoodg YVhile the Dockey pokes your plaza, Puts his 'scope on your piazza- And explains it all to heads as hard as wood! ?-It's rounds! Let 'em stick the needles in youg They'll do everything but skin youg Mari! You're lucky if they don't an- nex your wad: just relax and let them thump you, Let them jump and stump and bump you, When they're finishedl THEN I'T'S TIME FOR THANKS TO GOD! Pr qv tivo lzzmdrecl' and fiflfmi GEMS FROM RECENT EXAM- INATION PAPERS IN PREVEN- TIVE MEDICINE Pasteur discovered spontaneous gen- eration. Pasteur discovered the Pasteur Insti- tute in Parisf' As foods, proteins rank first, the others in proportion. Preventive Mediciiie is based on Eto- mologyf' Alcohol may be ranked as a food. There are two kinds of Alcohol: Methe- cal and Ethecalf' fTl16 student evidently thought the latter is the kind that is rafe lo drinlnj -it 916 or APPLIED ANATOMY Wliere can a man buy a cap for his knee, Or a key for a lock of his hair? Or can his eyes be an academy, Because there are pupils there? In the crown of his head what germs are founds ? VVho travels the bridge of his nose? Does the calf of his leg become hungry at times And devour the corn on his toes? Can the crook of his elbow be sent to jail? Where's the shade from the palm of his hand? How does he sharpen his shoulder blades? I'm hanged: if I understand. '-'fllllffifllll Legion Ufeekly.

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IF YOU HAVE TEARS PREPARE TO SHED THEM NOXVH Chiropractic Aid. in Waverly Qlowal Democrat, Blackfoot cId1llIOJ Republi- ran, et al. We chiropractors work with the sub- tle substance of the soul. VVe release the prisoned impulse, the tiny rivulet of force, that emanates from the mind and flows over the nerves to the cells and stirs them into life, We deal with the magic power that transforms common food into living, loving, thinking clayg that robes the earth with beauty, and hues and scents the flowers with the glory of the air. ln the dim, dark, distant long ago, when the sun first bowed to the morning star, this power spoke and there was lifeg it quickened the slime of the sea and the dust of the earth and drove the cell to union with its fellows in countless living forms. Through aeons of time it finned the fish and winged the bird and fanged the beast. Endlessly it worked, evolving its forms until it produced the crowning glory of them all. With tireless energy it blows the bubble of each individual life and then silently, relentlessly dis- solves the form, and absorbs the spirit into itself again. And yet you ask, Can Chiropractic cure appendicitis or the 'flu?' Have you more faith in a knife or a spoonful of medicine than in the power that animates the living world? Oh Treponema Pallidum, We've blamed many things on you You're the root of all that's evil, You're the master of your crew. Oh Treponema Pallidum, You're so very hard to catch, Your work is like the devil's own, lt's impossible to match. Oh Treponema Pallidum, We've lots of respect for you. Youlre by far more dangerous Than all the lions in a zool Here lies a lawyer, He lied at will, Altho in his grave, He's lying still. A medical student named Crine, As a Freshman got along fine. As a Soph he just passed, ln his third year was gassed. And that was the sad END-O-CRINE N. Here's to the Freshman Full of ambition Herels to the Sophomore Half a physician Here's to the Junior VVith fear in his heart And here's to the Senior lVho from us must part. N. ABIE-fjllif coming ou! of elherj- Vere am I? SURGEON-uYOU,VC had a terrible accident, but you will recover. ABIE- Recover? How much ? Johnny went to a doctor Because he was ill. But Johnny died soon after ' He received the doctor's bill. Paqr' tivo 1lIHI!1I'l'li and .s'f'z'ul1tc't'n