Long Island College Hospital - Lichonian Yearbook (Brooklyn, NY)

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ROUNDS By zz Patient on lfffard F , The Johns Hopkins Hospital Hush! lt's roundsl Close the doors And cut the racketg Here's the Doc in his white jacket, And the students are Hocking to the call: Now the nurse is at attention, And it might be well to mention That the patients are delighted least of all. Pst! It's rounds! First, they'll sound you And they'll pound you, All the while they walk around you Looking wise, and using words as big as h-5 You've got this or that dreadosis or arterio-sclerosis- Survive the diagnosis and you're well. ?-It's rounds! All the students flock about you- Goshl VVhat would they do without you? And try to look as though they under- stoodg YVhile the Dockey pokes your plaza, Puts his 'scope on your piazza- And explains it all to heads as hard as wood! ?-It's rounds! Let 'em stick the needles in youg They'll do everything but skin youg Mari! You're lucky if they don't an- nex your wad: just relax and let them thump you, Let them jump and stump and bump you, When they're finishedl THEN I'T'S TIME FOR THANKS TO GOD! Pr qv tivo lzzmdrecl' and fiflfmi GEMS FROM RECENT EXAM- INATION PAPERS IN PREVEN- TIVE MEDICINE Pasteur discovered spontaneous gen- eration. Pasteur discovered the Pasteur Insti- tute in Parisf' As foods, proteins rank first, the others in proportion. Preventive Mediciiie is based on Eto- mologyf' Alcohol may be ranked as a food. There are two kinds of Alcohol: Methe- cal and Ethecalf' fTl16 student evidently thought the latter is the kind that is rafe lo drinlnj -it 916 or APPLIED ANATOMY Wliere can a man buy a cap for his knee, Or a key for a lock of his hair? Or can his eyes be an academy, Because there are pupils there? In the crown of his head what germs are founds ? VVho travels the bridge of his nose? Does the calf of his leg become hungry at times And devour the corn on his toes? Can the crook of his elbow be sent to jail? Where's the shade from the palm of his hand? How does he sharpen his shoulder blades? I'm hanged: if I understand. '-'fllllffifllll Legion Ufeekly.

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-- - 11- QW iff -M'-f if f --ff-ral '-,rr ,rat-4'.'x.H1.:mL'-1+ :'frsii'g-x'qiwG '29.- mf' 'l J ' 7 9 1 r F ni faq -1 -x ...1..1.,f4fL4 ' 3.1. Lf1A11.g.:.: 1:14 1'..o...I5.x 4 ADHESIONS . . . AQUA ....... ASTH BIA ...... BALLOTTEIVIENT . CONSULTANT .'. DERMATOLOGY . . DIETETICS .... DISSECTION . . . ECZEMA . . . EMETIC .. FLUNK . . . FRESHIVIAN . .... . . GOGGLES ......... GASTRO-EN'FEROLOGY GYN ECOLOGY ...... HEAD .. KNEE . L. O. A.. .. LUES ............ MEDICAI. STUDENT. MEDICINE ...... E.. OUR OWN STEDMAN . . . An alibi for a slow operation. . . . A substance used under bridges. . . . The lVIusic Box Review. , , , A juggling game played by Obstetricians. ,,,The living proof that two heads are better than one and that one head may be better than another. . . . A system of nomenclature. , , , A scientific guessing contest between a cook's mind and a patient's stomach. . . . The only obstacle that a Freshman can see between himself and success. The dermatologic standby. Sea sickness. What will happen to you if you go to all of your classes or follow half the advice given. A vigorous, healthy looking youth with lots of ambition. lVIoder1I substitute for an intelligent appearance. Down to the mouthg a symphony played on a rubber tube. A medical specialty chiefly created by the gonococcus and the upright posture. Frequently merely an appendage to E11 out the space above the neck. The right of way. Recently exposed joint. See-Phyllis for it. An unwitting sacrifice on the altar of humanityg sometimes an enigma whose instructors wonder wotinell induced him to choose such a career. VVhat we have been taking for four years and hope to make other people take you for forty. IXIIEDIQAL SCHOOL ,.,., ,VVhere you learn that a Doctor's life consists of something RIISCARRIAGE .. MUNIPS .... . NEUROI.OGY' . . . OBSTETRICS . . . OBSTETRICIAN . . PATHOLOGY . . . PEDIATRICS . QUIZ . . . SHOCK .... T. O. T.. . . Uizotoov . . . more than driving big automobiles and smoking black cigars. Love's Labor Lost. Some cheek. A medical specialty devoted almost exclusively to diagnosis. The descent of man. ... , , , A medically educated night-watchman. , , What's the matter! VVhat's the matter!! And where- fore!!! , , ,The opportunity to prove that medical diagnosis is really a SCICIICC. ...A modern inquisition devoted to determining the individual and collective ignorance of a group of so called students. . . .What the patient died of. Breech presentation. Q A scientific specialty devoted to repair of a rapid life. Page Iwo 111111111111 and f0lH'll't I1

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'EE IT ye, l .fi Fi in ii ,ii E, Hi H Ei ,El ll. all li' Y Eli W 2 iw S5 lil. 'll ill U igii ll, 5? Nfl, :lil l ll ggl li el he tl Jil. itll Wi ,fsi-35. fs-rf 1 5' '- x g-,ve -, , -1 ni? .wi ll - r, 1-zgigkftvafhr ygglflegf-r Hf.-,1 9 'gigpiefl latilaetsi lialtll 151923 w 1534353 1, r fs:-1, gi' iii W i. - rffi. I !-- A I 1 .tri ., , 5- -. : .ul .f,l'l'lg,n fl CLASSIFICzlTION OF PROFESSORS l. The Lead Pipe Cinfh:-Very popular, never Hunks anyone. Sometimes teaches something. ' 2. The Holy Tw-rm'.'-Flunks fifty per cent., is consigned to damnation dailyg students study for his examination and forget him and his subject as soon as possible. fl.. Thr Psemlo-wif.--Eulightens his lectures by reverberations of ancient jokes. All the students know them by heart and everybody laughs in the right place. 4. The Sporty T5'pr'.'-Wears a checkered suit, asks the baseball score, calls the young ladies my dearfl 5. The Deadly Bore:-Reads from the textbook 5 a sure cure for insomnia. 6. The Forfigm Alvcezzt.--Keeps the students so busy guessing at the words they don't get the sentences or the sense. IT lSN'T THE COST, IT'S THE UPKEEP A New York jury recently awarded a woman 540,000 for the loss of a leg. The latest court decisions, as assembled by Case and Comment, show the value of a woman, completely assembled as: Legs, QQ s4o,ooo. . . Arms, QD S-l2,500. .. . . Hair . ......... Nose .......... Eyes Q 210,000 . . . 80,000 85,000 20,000 15,000 20,000 Broken heart . . . . . 250,000 :E-170,000 This teaches us that a first class Wife should be given at least as much care and attention as an automobile. LnFs3 Lv'r'rL.e Jonas ffflf f, f' ff! , L, We. K i' W, ' l e 'is' f, sex 1 ll f I ? --- --- ' .7 , A MEDICAL 5T-.-nam' was Butt DSNAY Hg :run-an venv HRRD 80714 meurnuo DAY msn naman Hs'r'ao,g ,quo Mcontsln Masai HE Ffmsueb Stuonl. HTTHC HEAD DF Pl'5 wana Graeme l buBl-aw WMM? in 60011 ns s1'ubicD HT'l7f1Eb -Nnsuusfl HE Cauur. RT 2,-mess ANA FhfU'E5 mm .Swing Chlfcs HE SPENT ELL HIS NISAT-1 HND MOST DF 51,455 HIS DAYS fe. Tj NDN Donna g'5,4,qy 15 Qurre RN OLD MAN. Bur 577 u. Buvs srurr cw we WHALLNGNT PLAN ,,,,,,,.,,.,,,,.,, ,W of-it-,CE :pq ms enmity, Ann mans Poli Tue GMD OF Hv W 'V ywtg Pgnfeswz Mnamw DoesNof1 'KHJMG Hg 5,955 svmvmlqg In mx an Rv'-I-S Revert ms mme nu spun in rms 'MV SHURI' 'Ms ron, ng Lsalefvsn Jus-r How To ADJUST -mg smue! - NFN loN-'2l- 5 ' !! T'L',5T':v-Q ii:-M, .L Page Iwo hundred and v11!vf'n