Long Island College Hospital - Lichonian Yearbook (Brooklyn, NY)

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-- - 11- QW iff -M'-f if f --ff-ral '-,rr ,rat-4'.'x.H1.:mL'-1+ :'frsii'g-x'qiwG '29.- mf' 'l J ' 7 9 1 r F ni faq -1 -x ...1..1.,f4fL4 ' 3.1. Lf1A11.g.:.: 1:14 1'..o...I5.x 4 ADHESIONS . . . AQUA ....... ASTH BIA ...... BALLOTTEIVIENT . CONSULTANT .'. DERMATOLOGY . . DIETETICS .... DISSECTION . . . ECZEMA . . . EMETIC .. FLUNK . . . FRESHIVIAN . .... . . GOGGLES ......... GASTRO-EN'FEROLOGY GYN ECOLOGY ...... HEAD .. KNEE . L. O. A.. .. LUES ............ MEDICAI. STUDENT. MEDICINE ...... E.. OUR OWN STEDMAN . . . An alibi for a slow operation. . . . A substance used under bridges. . . . The lVIusic Box Review. , , , A juggling game played by Obstetricians. ,,,The living proof that two heads are better than one and that one head may be better than another. . . . A system of nomenclature. , , , A scientific guessing contest between a cook's mind and a patient's stomach. . . . The only obstacle that a Freshman can see between himself and success. The dermatologic standby. Sea sickness. What will happen to you if you go to all of your classes or follow half the advice given. A vigorous, healthy looking youth with lots of ambition. lVIoder1I substitute for an intelligent appearance. Down to the mouthg a symphony played on a rubber tube. A medical specialty chiefly created by the gonococcus and the upright posture. Frequently merely an appendage to E11 out the space above the neck. The right of way. Recently exposed joint. See-Phyllis for it. An unwitting sacrifice on the altar of humanityg sometimes an enigma whose instructors wonder wotinell induced him to choose such a career. VVhat we have been taking for four years and hope to make other people take you for forty. IXIIEDIQAL SCHOOL ,.,., ,VVhere you learn that a Doctor's life consists of something RIISCARRIAGE .. MUNIPS .... . NEUROI.OGY' . . . OBSTETRICS . . . OBSTETRICIAN . . PATHOLOGY . . . PEDIATRICS . QUIZ . . . SHOCK .... T. O. T.. . . Uizotoov . . . more than driving big automobiles and smoking black cigars. Love's Labor Lost. Some cheek. A medical specialty devoted almost exclusively to diagnosis. The descent of man. ... , , , A medically educated night-watchman. , , What's the matter! VVhat's the matter!! And where- fore!!! , , ,The opportunity to prove that medical diagnosis is really a SCICIICC. ...A modern inquisition devoted to determining the individual and collective ignorance of a group of so called students. . . .What the patient died of. Breech presentation. Q A scientific specialty devoted to repair of a rapid life. Page Iwo 111111111111 and f0lH'll't I1

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4- -fvfvfw X-. fr- . . ..s '- ' i- - - -.-T -. 11 I 1 ' :y:f1:1:,-1.--.zw.,:a szawaxzf-f?f.1,::'af J . . .. , , , List of questions for those wishing to qualify as physicians: 1.-Name two differences between some physicians and bartenders. 2.-Wliat is an endocrine? Is it? 3.-Name a physician who collected all his bills? Prove it. 4.-Wlhat famous surgeon admitted that his art was mostly mechanics? 5. Which was greatest as an inventor -Volstead or the man who invented compound interest? 6.-YVho was lVIary Baker Eddy and why? 7.-Name th1'ee physicians who never did a sinlc test. Name three other saints. 8.-What man expressed himself as being wholly uninterested in the question of financial returns? Name four other fibbers. 9.-Who was the physician who never lost a mother or a baby in his obstetrical work. Name five other ophthalmologists. SPRING FEVER LflZlll?.S'.S', weariness, Clzeeriness. dreariness. Ifappiness, l'll confess I'm feeling tired! rl stretelz and a yawn, fl feeling j'UIl,I'E gone- Spring fewer, son! lffahe np! 1,011,719 fired! Elf il? STATE BOJRDS He 'wrote upon anatomy, Pathology and fhenlistry, Obstetrics, gynerology, Then biology too: He wrote on dernzatology, Hygiene and etiology, Bacteri- and myfology, ffna' said, Pl 'hat shall I rio? There still remains some surgery Some merlieine and purgery, llfaieria nzerl. and therapy- Pag two hnndreri and thirteen These still I have to rlof' His fountain pen ran out of ink, His weary brain refused to think, The paper looked blue, white and pink find then, thank God, 'twas through. Sl? il? Eli ' REFINED DIAGNOSIS A patient in a metropolitan hospital had been examined as follows: day of arrival .......... red count 2d day .............. white count Sd day. . ...... differential count -ith day ..... hemoglobin estimation Sth day .......... coagulation time 6th clay. . . . . .VVasserrnann 7th day. . . . . .sugar in blood Sth day ............ urea in blood 9th day ................. malaria Patient Qwhen technician appeared on 10th dayj: Golly! are you trying to bleed me to death. hlvllilt do you Want to know now? Terhiiirian Qhumorouslyjz VVe want to find out your nationality. Patient: Hell! l'm Irish! YVhy didn't you ask me that the first day? els ate THEN HE APOLQGIZED Prof. Qto sweet girl medic.D :-Give the symptoms of acromegaly. , Girl Jllezlie.-Enlarged face and ex- tremities, and-a-a-a-I don't believe I remember any more. Prof.-You seem to have two of the symptoms. Girl lllerlie.-Qli, yes! Interference with speech and memory affected. lvext Day Prof. Qto young male medic.j: Give the symptoms of acromegaly. Johnson.-The symptoms are l- Csilencej. Prof.-Don't you remember, Miss Hopkins had two of the symptoms yes- terday. Johnson.-Oh, yes! Large extremities!

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ROUNDS By zz Patient on lfffard F , The Johns Hopkins Hospital Hush! lt's roundsl Close the doors And cut the racketg Here's the Doc in his white jacket, And the students are Hocking to the call: Now the nurse is at attention, And it might be well to mention That the patients are delighted least of all. Pst! It's rounds! First, they'll sound you And they'll pound you, All the while they walk around you Looking wise, and using words as big as h-5 You've got this or that dreadosis or arterio-sclerosis- Survive the diagnosis and you're well. ?-It's rounds! All the students flock about you- Goshl VVhat would they do without you? And try to look as though they under- stoodg YVhile the Dockey pokes your plaza, Puts his 'scope on your piazza- And explains it all to heads as hard as wood! ?-It's rounds! Let 'em stick the needles in youg They'll do everything but skin youg Mari! You're lucky if they don't an- nex your wad: just relax and let them thump you, Let them jump and stump and bump you, When they're finishedl THEN I'T'S TIME FOR THANKS TO GOD! Pr qv tivo lzzmdrecl' and fiflfmi GEMS FROM RECENT EXAM- INATION PAPERS IN PREVEN- TIVE MEDICINE Pasteur discovered spontaneous gen- eration. Pasteur discovered the Pasteur Insti- tute in Parisf' As foods, proteins rank first, the others in proportion. Preventive Mediciiie is based on Eto- mologyf' Alcohol may be ranked as a food. There are two kinds of Alcohol: Methe- cal and Ethecalf' fTl16 student evidently thought the latter is the kind that is rafe lo drinlnj -it 916 or APPLIED ANATOMY Wliere can a man buy a cap for his knee, Or a key for a lock of his hair? Or can his eyes be an academy, Because there are pupils there? In the crown of his head what germs are founds ? VVho travels the bridge of his nose? Does the calf of his leg become hungry at times And devour the corn on his toes? Can the crook of his elbow be sent to jail? Where's the shade from the palm of his hand? How does he sharpen his shoulder blades? I'm hanged: if I understand. '-'fllllffifllll Legion Ufeekly.