Long Island College Hospital - Lichonian Yearbook (Brooklyn, NY)

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4- -fvfvfw X-. fr- . . ..s '- ' i- - - -.-T -. 11 I 1 ' :y:f1:1:,-1.--.zw.,:a szawaxzf-f?f.1,::'af J . . .. , , , List of questions for those wishing to qualify as physicians: 1.-Name two differences between some physicians and bartenders. 2.-Wliat is an endocrine? Is it? 3.-Name a physician who collected all his bills? Prove it. 4.-Wlhat famous surgeon admitted that his art was mostly mechanics? 5. Which was greatest as an inventor -Volstead or the man who invented compound interest? 6.-YVho was lVIary Baker Eddy and why? 7.-Name th1'ee physicians who never did a sinlc test. Name three other saints. 8.-What man expressed himself as being wholly uninterested in the question of financial returns? Name four other fibbers. 9.-Who was the physician who never lost a mother or a baby in his obstetrical work. Name five other ophthalmologists. SPRING FEVER LflZlll?.S'.S', weariness, Clzeeriness. dreariness. Ifappiness, l'll confess I'm feeling tired! rl stretelz and a yawn, fl feeling j'UIl,I'E gone- Spring fewer, son! lffahe np! 1,011,719 fired! Elf il? STATE BOJRDS He 'wrote upon anatomy, Pathology and fhenlistry, Obstetrics, gynerology, Then biology too: He wrote on dernzatology, Hygiene and etiology, Bacteri- and myfology, ffna' said, Pl 'hat shall I rio? There still remains some surgery Some merlieine and purgery, llfaieria nzerl. and therapy- Pag two hnndreri and thirteen These still I have to rlof' His fountain pen ran out of ink, His weary brain refused to think, The paper looked blue, white and pink find then, thank God, 'twas through. Sl? il? Eli ' REFINED DIAGNOSIS A patient in a metropolitan hospital had been examined as follows: day of arrival .......... red count 2d day .............. white count Sd day. . ...... differential count -ith day ..... hemoglobin estimation Sth day .......... coagulation time 6th clay. . . . . .VVasserrnann 7th day. . . . . .sugar in blood Sth day ............ urea in blood 9th day ................. malaria Patient Qwhen technician appeared on 10th dayj: Golly! are you trying to bleed me to death. hlvllilt do you Want to know now? Terhiiirian Qhumorouslyjz VVe want to find out your nationality. Patient: Hell! l'm Irish! YVhy didn't you ask me that the first day? els ate THEN HE APOLQGIZED Prof. Qto sweet girl medic.D :-Give the symptoms of acromegaly. , Girl Jllezlie.-Enlarged face and ex- tremities, and-a-a-a-I don't believe I remember any more. Prof.-You seem to have two of the symptoms. Girl lllerlie.-Qli, yes! Interference with speech and memory affected. lvext Day Prof. Qto young male medic.j: Give the symptoms of acromegaly. Johnson.-The symptoms are l- Csilencej. Prof.-Don't you remember, Miss Hopkins had two of the symptoms yes- terday. Johnson.-Oh, yes! Large extremities!

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T v YY lli is 153' 'yivfy AMBITION Before l studied medicine if-gli I thought I'd take advice, jlllll Of men progressed in their own field U! Each told me to think tW1CC. EE, The Hrst one was a teacher, -Y VVho re lied NIV dear foun man l 'ul P V - ' I . g ' v Keep away-away from teaching Keep from teaching-if you can. fm Then I went to see a lawyer, H ,And he firmly set his jawg i If I began once more, he said, I'd never study law, M531 A . IPB n engineer, I surely thought, WVas really worth the whileg IH But when I asked an engineer ,Eg He answered with a smile. An Engineerhish not the thing You think it is my friend. 'E I wish I knew some better trade In which my time to spend. lu At last I met a doctor, ,ily Who gave me naught else but facts. A man's success depends upon The way in which he acts. l If Two aspects are presented Each of which I'll give to youg is One studies for Hnancial gain, 'YW . The other for things to do. The man who looks for money, VH' Never makes a real successg teal His fame spreads as a bleeder And his clientele is less. But he who helps his fellow man , Q! Is loved and is admired, On seeing all the good he's done VVith strength he is inspired. i 1' He may not be a millionaire, 'x -' x gffiglbft' E-: -5 ,:' ll Mil- 5 f 'i?33 u!.l fifflix X :affair ' e isilcaaiiiagi gngg fi sz in i'rm-Q Nor is he ever poorg For no physician ever starved Who tried his best to cure. I felt this famous man was right, I' offered no excuseg I want to be a doctor 'Cause I want to be of use. Momus LE1BsoN, '25. Page two hundred and iwclve

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-- - 11- QW iff -M'-f if f --ff-ral '-,rr ,rat-4'.'x.H1.:mL'-1+ :'frsii'g-x'qiwG '29.- mf' 'l J ' 7 9 1 r F ni faq -1 -x ...1..1.,f4fL4 ' 3.1. Lf1A11.g.:.: 1:14 1'..o...I5.x 4 ADHESIONS . . . AQUA ....... ASTH BIA ...... BALLOTTEIVIENT . CONSULTANT .'. DERMATOLOGY . . DIETETICS .... DISSECTION . . . ECZEMA . . . EMETIC .. FLUNK . . . FRESHIVIAN . .... . . GOGGLES ......... GASTRO-EN'FEROLOGY GYN ECOLOGY ...... HEAD .. KNEE . L. O. A.. .. LUES ............ MEDICAI. STUDENT. MEDICINE ...... E.. OUR OWN STEDMAN . . . An alibi for a slow operation. . . . A substance used under bridges. . . . The lVIusic Box Review. , , , A juggling game played by Obstetricians. ,,,The living proof that two heads are better than one and that one head may be better than another. . . . A system of nomenclature. , , , A scientific guessing contest between a cook's mind and a patient's stomach. . . . The only obstacle that a Freshman can see between himself and success. The dermatologic standby. Sea sickness. What will happen to you if you go to all of your classes or follow half the advice given. A vigorous, healthy looking youth with lots of ambition. lVIoder1I substitute for an intelligent appearance. Down to the mouthg a symphony played on a rubber tube. A medical specialty chiefly created by the gonococcus and the upright posture. Frequently merely an appendage to E11 out the space above the neck. The right of way. Recently exposed joint. See-Phyllis for it. An unwitting sacrifice on the altar of humanityg sometimes an enigma whose instructors wonder wotinell induced him to choose such a career. VVhat we have been taking for four years and hope to make other people take you for forty. IXIIEDIQAL SCHOOL ,.,., ,VVhere you learn that a Doctor's life consists of something RIISCARRIAGE .. MUNIPS .... . NEUROI.OGY' . . . OBSTETRICS . . . OBSTETRICIAN . . PATHOLOGY . . . PEDIATRICS . QUIZ . . . SHOCK .... T. O. T.. . . Uizotoov . . . more than driving big automobiles and smoking black cigars. Love's Labor Lost. Some cheek. A medical specialty devoted almost exclusively to diagnosis. The descent of man. ... , , , A medically educated night-watchman. , , What's the matter! VVhat's the matter!! And where- fore!!! , , ,The opportunity to prove that medical diagnosis is really a SCICIICC. ...A modern inquisition devoted to determining the individual and collective ignorance of a group of so called students. . . .What the patient died of. Breech presentation. Q A scientific specialty devoted to repair of a rapid life. Page Iwo 111111111111 and f0lH'll't I1