Long Island College Hospital - Lichonian Yearbook (Brooklyn, NY)

Page 205 text:

'Ia ef li YH1 ill ii I. V ir I il lr rl it Il ,, lil ix l 1 If fi ,I ll ll. Y r I II, .ll gnu lil f IA , Y if ll if fill if , V. I figglzgnonlggg li is ilihf L I .4 I 5 E I. 3-GE-D-53553525 lVIRS. BABOON: How tall and straight he is! I wonder if he could kill my husbandl lVIRs. PITHECUS: What is that covering him all over? ls his body disfigured? MR. PITHECUS: Shut your trap, you fool! Can't you see that's his hair? What then could it be? IVIAN Ctuking notesjz A strange, apparently communal pack of apes, species Cer- copithecoidesg continually chattering among themselves, evidently far below the other apes in mental development. c1i1Ulll!.D I wonder if I couldn't make them understand some of that monkey language I learned from Prof. Gorner. CHe makes so-rqzlled monkey 1l0iSE.S'.J 3RD BAEOON: What a chatterer! He blabbers like a parrot. ZND BABOON: Can't he show that he knows something? Can't he show any in- telligence? lVIAN Qdisgustedlz VVhat a hopeless pack of beasts they are! Darwin was wrong. tHe is led away, uzzresittinglyj SCENE II. The big tree, with a little clearing around it. The wise ones, Muttal, Tuttal and Zuttal, with their chief, the wisest one, Knish, in front, are stationed in front of the tree, standing on the slightly raised roots. They look like the judges in a courtroom, and fully as intelligent. The hoi polloi are gathered around, some distance back. The leader comes forward leading his prisoner. This, O wise ones, is the creature we have found in the jungles. It is for you to tell us, ignorant fools that we are, what he is and whence he has ' come. tHe bows and steps horkj MAN Cwonderinglyl : What are they up to now? Looks like a pack of Cats gathered around some catnip. I wonder if I'm the Catnip here. lYIUTf1'AL faddressing the manj : VVho are you and whence do you come? RIAN Iabsolutely ignorant of the fact that they are addresring himj: l'll see in a few minutes whether they're going to eat me or not. lVIUTTAL Cmore emplmtimllyl 1 Why do you not answer? Have you no sense? MAN: I seem to be a curiosity here. Can it be possible that their mental processes are developed sufliciently for them to be capable of curiosity? No, I see it is impossible. They are simply jabbering away together, not like cats, but like a couple of dogs would howl over a bone. tHe continues to take noterj KNISH: He seems incapable of understanding. He cannot even respond to sign languages as the other animals do. His mental processes do not seem very far advanced. TUTTAL ffeeling the 711117115 cloihuing. Seeing ALL Qanzazedl : Is he taking off his skin? lsr BAEooN: What is that rope around his ZUTTAL fthe wise onelz That, evidently when he became obstreperous. KNISH fthe wisest onej: I -have heard it is a race that so decorates itself, to make itself beautiful. MISS BABOONA Cshrieking with Iaughterj: How ridiculous! seem less and less intelligent, and sink civilizing or refining tendencies are in least conception of the beautifying value any other apes I have studied. PLACE: LEADER: this, the man takes his coat off., neck? was put around his neck to hang him, said, that in strange, strange lands, there lVIAN Qtaking noted: UAS time passes, they lower and lower in the scale. No evidence. They do not entertain the of clothes. On a plane lower than Page Iwo Izumi: 4. n'

Page 204 text:

'79 I JL: .. ll!! ., ...,, Y Y, YYY Y , ., M,-wp . Qing-vt. -. .--., .vf .1-x-f--- -eff .0 I..- 1.-1-.q-17, 1, 41-,ave-.v 5-aiifl' P- 1 S s..f,. .n-.f,.eL1g.' 4 EMM--f.',:. LL,-1, E The Baboon Boosters. MILTON MARCOU, '25 SCENE I LACE: A clearing in the jungle. Baboons of both sexes are scattered here and there, jabbering together, some are in trees, others are standing, or squatting, or lying down. They seem to be passing the time away quite satisfactorily, just as a similar body of men and women would be I MRS. BAB I Miss MRS. Miss MRS. grouped on a street corner. 00N Cro an attraetifue young bnhoonessj : And have you seen my new home? t is on that big tree we passed the other day. BABOONA: That one with the thick twisted branches? ' BABOON: Yes. There is no other tree within two miles that is even as high. BABOONA Cadzniringlyl : You don't Say! lto herself! : The liar! BABOON: Oh yes! And it is htted up with the cutest little leaves! And the sweetest little birds have their nests there! MISS M RS. BABOONA Cenfoiouslyj 1 You must be so happy! BABOON Qhonstinglyl: And my husband brings home the juiciest nuts and roots. All the neighbors are afraid of him, he is so strong! BAE a Miss OONA: My Banto isn't afraid of him. He's stronger, and handsomer, ndf QShe is interrupted hy Il young fellow who comes rushing in terribly excited, and all out of breath, ns if he had seen n ghost.l MESSENGER! They've just found something wandering in the jungle. They're bring- ing it in to show you. IST BABOON: Wliat does it look like? 2ND BABOON: Is it something strange or queer? Anything we ever saw before? INIESSENGER fall wrought upl: You never Saw anything like this before! It walks 0 IST Bzxnoo nly on its hind legs, and the face is pushed in, and it's bigger than we are- N: What do you mean? MESSENGER: And there's some glass covering its eyes, and there's something big 21 nd white on its head, and- 3RD BABOON: Can it hunt? 2ND BABOON: Can it swing from tree to tree? MESSENGER: I don't know. You'll see. And it- cGI't'Hf exeitenzent and uproar. .fl group of baboons enter, bringing with them zz man, the one so strikingly mentioned nhofue. He does not struggle, hut looks around him with curiosity, with Il superior smile on his fare. He 'wears I1 hunting suit, speftavles, and a white pith 11611112119 LEADER : Here he is. He cannot understand what we say. All we get from him is some queer jabbering sounds. I don't think he knows how to talk in- telligibly. IST BABOON: Stick a pin in himg see if he jumps. ZND BABOON: What happened to his face? It looks as if somebody bashed it in. fThe man has been looking around him with seientihc questioningsj as if he were nzensuring their eeplmlic index, or their intelligenre quotient. He takes 0 ut Il note-hook, and penfil, mm' begins to write.l LEADER fgizring ordersl: Call the wise ones and bring them over to that big tree 0 Y ver yonder. You, take this fellow there, now, and wait for them. Come, ou fellows! Page one I11n111'rcd and ninety nine

Page 206 text:

,re T if 'Q A KNISH: His habits seem to be like those of the lowest animals. His chatterings show no resemblance to intelligent speech, such as ours, more like those of the brainless macaw. Apparently, he is totally without mental capabilities. IVIUTTAL: Those abbreviated, attenuated, fore-limbs, of what possible use can they be? For swinging from tree to tree, they are manifestly too weak. TUTTAL: Those elongated hind-limbs, so ugly to view! Why does he hide his feet in those awkward bindings? ZUTTAL: VVhy does he hide his body from view? Is it to conceal his lack of a cover- ing of hair? His must be an abominable, ill-smelling body, that he must bury it in artificial, unnatural coverings. KNISH: You can find faults and defects in this creature ad infinitum. lt would be difficult to find any enlightening tendencies, any! signs of refinement, such as is a product of our higher civilization. lVIAN: They walk and hold themselves very awkwardly. They have not even the grace of some of the other apes. fTIlki7lg notcsl: On the whole this species impresses me very unfavorably. lt is inconceivable that modern man can have any direct relationship with these things, even to have descended with them from a common branch. The gap between the human race and these apes is too great. On the whole, this creature creates a very poor impression. It is absurd to even consider a possibility of our having descended from such an inferior form. NVe shall have to look further for a missing link. QTlze wzse ones deliberate lllll0lL-Q tlzellzselves for Il short time.J ' MUTTAL fthe 5p0kL'S7l7lI7l, 1r1ldre.vsi11g the rabblelz This strange creature, the like of which we have never seen before, is evidently one of an inferior order of animals, whose habitat is unknown to us. He will be placed on exhibition so that you can all view him, and amuse yourselves. We will note his peculiar habits, attempt to analyze them, and we will study him with the purpose in view, of detecting any traces of intelligence, if any, there are in his make-up. Thus far, we have noted none. Afterwards, we will subject him to various scientific experiments, and note his reactions. You need have no qualms as to inflicting useless cruelties on helpless animals, since it is all in the advancement of science. Especially will we note his brain reactions if he has anyg the brain will be removed pa'rt by part while he is still living. Following his death, we will dissect him completely. A comprehensive re- port will be written and published in our anthropological journal. CTIII' 'wise ones le11111',' the 1111111 is led a'w11y,' the baboons scatter.l MRS. BABOON: l don't care whether he is intelligent or not. I think he is very good-looking. MISS BABOONA: What is your taste? Wliat can be good-looking in a faceless head like that? lsr BABOON: What a filthy animal! 2ND BABOON: Imagine having to go through life with a face and form like that! Let us thank the lVIaker that He has made us Baboons and not beasts! That He has seen fit, in His goodness, to make the Baboons the highest form of development, the topmost rung of the animal scale! And that He has made inferior animals, such as that creature, subservient to our enlightened will. KNISH : LEADER! 111111 fwc l111111f1'1'1l 111111 one 'Ii-. t gf lll 5 ! !'! rl!! lil: R tl' A 4 li' H, ill! H! li, i 1,4 Fil l tl' i i if! ll 4,1 fi!! tw! ia ali! H, lf! M l ! l li i -KI! fl ll in! lil .-X l! ,xx K' P Y, . miie? vi , fs. .w h U 'JNL-' - 1 !iLlCHUN!AN!'1 F! 19221 L.l.E.H.1! lfiiiii 1i H at fi? P'-1