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Page 163 text:
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SOPHCMORE In vain I've looked for new ideas To put into this book, 'Tis very easy-it appears Some things to overlook. But I'm compelled to do this thing Tho' 'tis against my will, I trust no trouble it will bring Nor cause intent to kill. W'e've heard of Tennyson and Bryant And other men as famous, If towards their style I' am defiant l fear the world would blame us. Hence l thought as a last resort llfly pride I ought to swallow, And gain my reader's staunch support By trying their style to follow. Listen my children and you shall hear Of thc doctors, who will soon appear Upon the scene. They're still alive All from the class of 'twenty-five. LONGFELLOW. All this world am sad and dreary Since Rothstein came my way, Now l'm convinced that selling students No longer my fees will pay. FOSTER. YVhat is it that helps Slanger answer so well,- Cramming. VVhat is it that makes him the details to tell- Cramming. How is it that when he is put to the test He puts the thing over far more than the rest XVhat is it they taught him in old Budapest- Cramming. ' ANONYAIOUS. Pomerantz and Schmidt make a great combination Their studies have kept them away from temptation, Both study all day-then Schmidt studies all night And when he gets up. the poor boy is a sight. VVilliam VVills, our football man Tackles all the things he can, VVhether he's wrong or whether he's right He proves his own case by displaying his might. Page one lzirrzdzvrl and fl-fill'-Uifjllf
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Page 162 text:
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..,-. . - if YV 7 ,W YYY 7 Y' H, .. As qxnws-Ia -w -5 -,R -,H W,.i,,1,,q.,-: aww- 'W-F11-'ff for-Ian-:-yr-:nr-1 'ax'-. '1::'f1-Iyrwfw-.whiw i'.f-lt 0,Q'j ff'1 'ff NE' 4335923 152- J'-1.1-if-:1!Ea,L..4M --.fam .A-J .. Ll- .Q - - ...Q-.Q .. Q24-.':.a ,s wh: . 'l zf,3q.1 .--u:,af.-,- ,:e.fx..rwg..31 ,.trzf.,f4-14355 gg-.JH -fp wi--yr, -1 .' 1- ' - - - - gf 'W' w' 4 SOLOMON J. MILLER.-We've often wondered what J. stands for. Some say Janitor. Others say Joke. To compromise let us say both. LOUIS PERLMAN.-The man who knows that he knows, yet knows not that we do not desire to know what he knows. AARON PIESRIN.-Pithing frogs is his specialty. He can kill more frogs than we can supply. But how else can he show that he is a good student? DIXVID M. R EISA-IAN.-Vvilfll a dentist's coat, an usher's trousers, a veteri- narian's stethoscope and a clinical thermometer he proved to the world that he is a doctor. lVIARTIN ROTH.-The faster he moves, the longer it takes him to get to his destination. In fact, one of his pa- tients, with an acute appendix, waited so long for the doctor, that it ruptured. SAMUEL RUBENSTIEIN.-Xvltll malice toward none, with charity for all. This is his motto. Hence he charges high fees and donates the excess to charity. LOUIS Jos. A. SAI.MoN.-They had nothing else to give him, so they gave him more names. Now with the M.D. attached to his name, it looks like a page in the dictionary. MORRIS SANDLER.-The woman hater. The man most capable of asking: ques- tions that specialists cannot answer. JOHN H. SCHARF.-ThE well known discoverer of the Sternalis muscle. There is no one living with whom he has come in contact, who has not heard of it-from Dr. Scharf himself. HARRX' SCHFNKMAN.-A man who always makes a new discovery and then finds that it has already been pub- lished in a text-book by somebody else. HYMAN SHFRhIAN.1DlSDCIlSCT of knowledge. Regardless of what the subject mav be, he tells you evervthinq that should be or was, but never tells you what is. Pnqv 0116 I1llI'll1'VFl'I and fifty-.vc11r':I ROBERT C. SEELEY.-Since Bacteriology has developed into one of the foremost sciences of the day, Dr. Seeley has dis- covered a new method of sterilizing brain tissue. This has to be seen. NATHAN SRITZER.-Inspired by his love for his fellow men, Dr. Spitzer has Organized a clinic where cases are treated free, after which he makes ap- pointments at his office, at the reason- able sum of S15 a visit. IRWIN L. TURQUR.-The poetical doc- tor. He works rhythmically, and rhymes each movement to perfection. MORRIS VVAXOISRR.-A small man, but possessed of large ideas. This drug dis- penser always manages to find some flaw in the most authoritative essay. Beware, ye investigzators. SAMUEL XVElN.iTllC only physician left, who can afford to smoke Nlela- chrinos. Dr. lVien's success is due to the rapid manner in which he ushers in his patients and puts them nut- before the patients can see him. ELIAS VVlZlNS'I'lEIN.+lDl'. VVeinstein, who was formerly a printer, has seen to it that all his articles are published, i. e., those that are rejected by the publishers. ' BARNEY WORKEN.-A great conversa- tion artist. Dr. WOI'kCIl has won every contest in which the ability of a person to talk for two hours on noth- ing was the subject at hand. HARRY T. ZANKEI..-Much does he know, and much does he show: 'tis amazinq to see how his knowledge doth flow. BENJAMIN ZOIIN.-A chemist who sees chemistry in Anatomy, Physiology. etc. Every disease, according to this professor. is a reaction between sub- stances of unknown chemical composi- tion. BENJAMIN ZUCKIZR.-Woe to those who get into this great man's clutches. He cures but ob how they suffer when his bill is presented. I THANK YOU.
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Page 164 text:
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Half a page, half a page, half a page onward Over each printed word Scuderi pondered, hdicelli to right of him, lylesser to left of him, lVIussio in back of him Help him to wonder. Was there a man afraid? No! for all night they stayed, Their thoughts were all delayed Their time was squandered. TENNYSON. A hunch of the hoys were trying to find The answer to some dizzy questions, But everything seemed to slip out of their mind They eouldnyt absorb the suggestions. - Take Hyman llflinevsky, who's known far and wide, As one who much knowledge can keep, In fact he admits, and not without pride That He's never yet gone to sleep. Stzizvicn. Stitch, Stitch, Stitch. ls the pain felt in our sides, Stitch, Stitch, Stitch How that pain with us ahides. Sydney Rooff talks night and day And almost gave his thoughts away, Stitch, Stitch, Stitch. Hoon. The curfew tolls the knell of parting day But for some men there seems to be no night, Through hooks Pennisi ploughs his weary way Helped hy Vitulli, his known satellite. GRAY. They shot a question into the air lt fell to earth, we knew not where, Poor Epstein could do naught hut stare For he knew naught of what was there. LONGFELLOXV. Page Ollt' lllll1!1l't'li and fifiy-nine
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