London South Collegiate Institute - Oracle Yearbook (London, Ontario Canada)

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fit Hman- -2250 -1 Y ! s X .91 ff Q GQ-2 ixwu'-u I had QIXMSTQRY thzl vvouli YQWHI nqiexgf Betty Ferris: Don't you think Ken Keene is an angel? Mary Fraser: Yes, no good on earth. 1- i- al' Mr. Byles tto Pete Mason coming in latel: What kept you so late? .. Pete Mason: Well, you told us to obey the traffic signs and the sign said 'School, go slow'. Q Q- -A- SONGS Q Nudist Song: My baby don't care for clothes. Triplets Song: Trees. Symptom Song: Symptoms I'm happy and symptoms I'm blue, Corset Song: Some of these stays. Mr. Ireland's Song: 'Ohm, Sweet 'Ohm. Cuspidor Song: Oh how I miss you tonight. Vegetarian Song: Till we meet again. 'P 1' i' She was only a bootlegger's daughter, but I love her still. 1- 1 1- She was the apple of her father's eye, but she was only appealing to me. ir 1- 1- ZERO MORNING There may be some few supermen Who jump up when they ought to But most of us crawl out just when We've absolutely got tol i' i' 'I' Miss MacPherson: No, I don't drive my car in winter because I hate the ruts. Mrs. Carr-Harris: Well, at least they keep you on the road. A- vt- 'A- ' Don Fillmore: I am one of the leading lights at South. Mr. Dinsmore: Yes, you're one of the fixtures. 52 Herman Scheiding Ipondering over a physics problemlz I don't see where you get your four feet. Mr. Ireland: I only have two. How many have you? if Il' 'k In Germany, since the black-shirt regime everyone has been having a hard time to find a white-collar job. 1- -A- 1: Teacher: Why haven't you learned your geography? Bill Olmsted: I heard Dad say that the world was changing every day, so I thought I would wait till it settled down. -A- al- A- Mary Fraser I got zero in French Comp. to-day. Betty Ferris: Thats nothing to worry about. i' 'A' 'k MISS CONGO I am a hippo-pota-mus ' A-playing steamboat in the stream, I'm thirty-six around the bust, And forty round the beam. 1' 1' 1' I-Iow do you like your chimney sweeping job? , I Oh, it soots me. 1' i' 1' Betty Turner: What makes the leaves turn red in the fall? PeqQY Gilmour: I guess they blush to think how green they were in the spring. Bob Calvert: Do you keep hairbrushes for boys with genuine bristles and ebony backs? Clerk: No sir. Bob Calvert: Well have you got a comb for youngster with Celluloid teeth? 1' ul' 'k Mr. Burns: Fallis, give the principal parts of the verb 'to hear.' Fallis: Psss-t, Smith, what's the verb 'to hear'? Smith: I dunno. Fallis Idunno, idunare, idunnavi idunnatumf' Mr. Burns: What on earth do you think you're giving? Fallis: I dunno. , Mr. McKiIlop was testing the general knowl- edge of the fifth form. Slapping a half-dollar Ori the desk, he said sharply: What's that? Iack'Macaulay: Tails, sir.

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Jestnuts By Peter Mason IVC. B. Buchanan: My father gave my brother a dime to behave himself. H. Beilley: Oh, l suppose you're good for nothing! The people who came over on the l-lindenburg say they had a high old time.. Does your landlord ask very much for rent? No, only about twelve times a year. B. Turner: l like playing tennis better than going out with the fellas. M. Fraser: Then 'love' means nothing to you. After a big dinner of mutton, a very bad sea arose, and the ocean liner was tossing wildly. A pale-faced passenger crossed the dining-room and said to the orchestra leader, Er-would you mind playing, 'Don't give up the sheep'? She: Oh! My kitten has scratched me! Bacing Enthusiast: Don't Worry, dear, many a good horse has been scratched. if 1: ar And then there was the referee at the track meet of the lunatic asylum who started the races by shouting, They're off! Mr. Armstrong: What's the formula for copper sulphate? Graeme Camerol: Er-What did you ask me, sir? Mr. Armstrong: Cu after four, Graeme. Sl' 'k Q' How's things, mister? Well, l have to scratch around for a living. HoW's that? Oh, l'm a furniture mover. 1233 Z l X x e- l A ZNN Z 2 7 Q 'malxes me siux- fjicanl- he use his heaci. l think one half of education consists in associating with brilliant minds. Ohl l was just wondering Why you've been hanging around me. i' if A' B. Hill: l actually take Women off their feet. G. Cameron: l-low? By selling them shoes too small? Mary Fraser: Am l made of dust? Betty Ferris: l should say not. M. Fraser: Why? B. Ferris: Because you never dry up. The typewriting machine may make good im- pressions, but it's the adding machine that counts. lf your boss came along now you'd be sunk. Yes, l'm a deep-sea diver. 'k i' 1' lrate Customer: Here, look What you did! Laundryman: l can't see anything wrong with that lace. Customer: Lace? That was a sheet. 'R' it W Bert Buchanan: l never do anything by n + f halves. It's no use talking turkey to a man that's F ,Bill Inhnntnnr Hob UO? HOW dn You eat grape' chicken-hearted. mm? ' F R A N K S M I T H LONDUN'S ORIGINAL - CASH AND CARRY Dnnning Every Evening 10-00 - 2-00 GROCERIES HND FINE FRUTTS IN SEASON Saturday, 9.00 - 12.00 'T - Friday Night is Collegiate Night - RAY Kissing AECESESTRA WARREN SMITH, l.s.c.1. '25. GLADYS SMITH, L.S.C.'. '31 all . .' 51

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FAMOUS SAYINGS BY FAMOUS FOLK The flivver owner: Well, wouldn't that jar you? The radio operator: I'll tell the world! The murderer: Well l'll be hanged. The judge: Fine. The telephone girl: l got your number. The sausagemaker: Doggone. The fisherman: l'll drop you a line. The author: Ill write. The seamstress: Darn it. 1 1- 1- The trouble with most operations is that the patients live to tell about them. 1- 1- 1- I-Ie: Aren't sheep stupid-looking animals? She: Yes, my lamb. at 1- 1- Garage Attendant Cas a car drives upl: luice? Driver: Vell, vat if ve are? 1 1- -A- What are you crying for, john? Mr. Dinsmore fell downstairs. Well, don't feel too badly: he-'ll get better soon, said a stranger. That isn't it, said john. lean saw him fall and I didn't. 1- 1- 1- Charley Hoare: Here's the candy, sweets to to the sweet. Mary Fraser: Thank you. May I pass you the nuts? 1- 1- 1 First Acquaintance: My wife's just had quinsy. Second Ditto: Good gracious, how many's tl'1Ctl?H 1- 1- 1- Mr. Armstrong: Name a liquid that won't freeze. Betty Walker: Hot water. 1- 9: xl' Al Iohnston: Last night I dreamed I was dancing with Doris Parker. Tom Woolley: How was that? A. Iohnston: I woke up and found my mother pounding me with a flat-iron. Pete Mason: Have you seen those jokes that I handed in last week yet? H jean Iarmain: No, but I'm trying hard. lack Woolley: Did you rent your dress suit last night? H Don Filrnore: Not until I bent over. Eavesdroppmg again, said Adam as his mate fell out of the apple tree. 1 1- 1 Bill Todd is so dumb he thinks cornflakes is a foot disease. 1- 1 1 Hugh Fteilley Cwith a triumphant gleam in his eyel: What was the matter with the wooden cow? Bert Buchanan Cdejectedlyl: I dunno. Hugh Beilley: Wooden milk. 1- z 1 Mr. McNeil: Why do the Portuguese stand at the head of the mule raising in Europe? Leo Hamer: Because the other end's dan- gerous. 1- 1- we lon Simington: Dont you think tennis is a nice quiet game?'5' Al. johnson: No: it can't be played without a racquet. 1' 1 1' RIDDLES l. Why is a snowstorm like a good joke? 2. Why is a railway guide book like a pair of handcuffs? 3. What is the most useful creature? 4. What is the recipe for honeymoon salad? CAnswers on page 547 Gordon Kidd: I wish I was gifted. l'm just itching to write. Mrs. Carr-Harris: Oh well, just sit down and scratch a little. xi' ik 'lr Graeme Cameron: Have you shown these poems to anyone else? Bob Calvert: Not a single soul. G. Cameron: Then where did you get that black eye? ,U 'hTiLEDiTo - , lf? . lf? H16 OHTICIAL CADACI-ry ' Lx ., 'Q - H N ' X Ill K 29 ij' .L ' I l P! if ,lf I7 -' it 53