London South Collegiate Institute - Oracle Yearbook (London, Ontario Canada)

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54 Dear Readers: This is school news! The ORACLE has secured what the newspapers call a scoop in obtaining the celebrated Professor I. M. A. Snoope, A.B. Cd. to write a series of short articles for our magazine. After much research in the South Collegiate he has assembled these important questions of the day, perhaps you have noticed him in the halls. May we present for the appro- val of our ORACLE readers :- lx' V D. PRoFESSoR SNUDP Vital Statistics of the Day By PROFESSOR I. SNooPE 4 Do you know, boys and girls, if each minute wasted in the auditorium by your commotion were multiplied by six hundred and twenty it would amount to ten hours, twenty minutes and three seconds preciselyg that if all the paper used in the manufacture of artillery by the first year was col- lected it would amount to fifty-five pounds, eleven ounces: that inci- dentally ten small step ladders have been purchased for these young ones but twenty more are needed immedi- ately? Do you know that if all the mud tracked into the school during the year was gathered it would resemble the South Rugby field after a rain? Do you know that if Mr. Dinsmore would continue his cheer leading ex- ercises in the auditorium you would notice a decided difference in your teacher? These, boys and girls are a few of the general statistics which I know will be of great value to you throughout the coming year and to which you can refer from time to time. l v L. s. C.iI. ORACLE A MIXED It was a literary meeting and the guest speaker was addressing the students: Boys and girls, he said, the school work is the bullhouse of civilizationg that is to say- Here he became slightly chilled. The bullhouse is the schoolwork of civ- The boys smiled. The workhouse is the bullschool of-I mean, of course, the schoolbull is the housework- V The smiles by this time had tecome broad grins. The scowschool- He was now getting wild and so were his hearers. He mopped his brow, gritted his teeth and made a fresh start. The school house, my lads. A sigh of relief went up. Ah! Now he had got control of himself once more. He gazed serenely around, the light of triumphant self-confidence was in his eye: - is the wullbarkf' . And that was all. THE ORACLE PARTY It was indeed a pleasure for all those who had worked so hard last year in making our ORACLE a success, to get together and enjoy a social even- ing in March. Fifteen students selling the most number of ORACLES, as well as the form selling the most magazines were invited to join in the fun. During- the first part of the evening our Editor-in-Chief, Bill Norfolk, and the Cartoon Fdltor, proved themselves very accomplished magicians by en- tertaining us with sleight-of-hand tricks. Some of the industrious girls on the staff attempted Carroll Balfour's ver- sion of The Highwaymanf' The rest of the evening was spent in games and dancing. Later, refreshments were served in the cafeteria where Miss McCamus and Mr. Urlin were the chief speakers. Let's see a larger percentage of the school at our ORACLE Party this year. -MARJORIE LISTER.

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L. S. C. I. ORACLE THE ORATORICAL CONTEST OF 1931 It is not the aim of our Wossa pro- gramme of public speaking to stimu- late a grand, eloquent, highly rhetorical style of speaking, but rather to train the student to stand on his own two feet if need arise, to speak naturally and clearly, and to say what he has to say in a concise, English manner. South has produced many outstand- ing speakers in her few years, and no mean share of the credit of this is owing to our English staff. By their sym- pathy and understanding they have helped immeasurably every student who has been so fortunate as to come under their tutelage. The junior girls' medal presented by the Wortley Road Mothers' Club was awarded last year to Mary Geiger, who spoke on Our Debt to Ancient Europe. In the senior girls' con- test-, Eleanor Haley, speaking on Rus- sia Under Soviet Governmentf' was successful and was presented with the 1 . W 55 Santo Medal, by Dr. Santo. Pierce Hutcheson spoke on a thoroughly Canadian subject: The Capture of Quebec, and received the Tecumseh Mothers' Club Medal for junior com- petition. Mr. Wendell Holmes pre- sented his medal to Frank White who spoke on The Future of Canada. -FRANK WHITE. SOUTH REACHES NEW ART STANDARDS The South Collegiate Art exhibit at the Western Fair brought this year not only honour to the L.S.C.I. but also to the students participating in this line of work. South was successful in capturing nine prizes. Of these two were granted to Mary Haring,a second year student who has gone to the Technical School to continue her studies in Art. Her prizes were a second and third. Edith Phillips was successful in obtaining a first and third prize. jean Watt a second, while Margaret Gidley and Laura Screaton each re- ceived a third. Norman Finch of third year was outstanding in captur- ing two firsts, one given for a very fine drawing of the South Crest. The school as a whole can well be proud of its venture into the field of Art at the Exhibition and its success in competition.-DoR1s DORLAND, IV A. Dear Readers: The ORACLE hopes you enjoyed the first article by Professor Snoope as he laid the astounding facts of South before you. This next article is of a scientific nature but is presented to the students in the Professor's customary simple style so that even the dullest may grasp these important facts. Why Are We and How BYDPROFESSOR I. SNooPE Is it not wonderful, my little friends, to think that we are human beings. It fills me with great pride to pronounce these words. Down through the epochs we have continued to bring knowledge to the world. We are beings and I hope sincerely that we are human. Always be kind to dumb animals and you will receive your reward in the end. To answer the second question, my readers, I must delve deeper.