Lodi High School - Tiger Tales Yearbook (Lodi, OH)

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Ww s Little Imps Howard Harold Pete Dale Lois Milo

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Class Prophecy Throughout the millions of years that life has been on earth men have done many note- worthy deeds. I am old Father Time and it has been my privilege to see all of these miracu- lous feats but this year of 1965 has presented to me the most extraordinary exploit that man has ever undertaken. During the winter of 1964-65, the world- famous physicist, Prof. Gordon C. Warnes, astounded the science-conscious world with his invention of a super-jet rocket ship which would travel to other planets at very rapid speeds. This was a follow-up of his Nobel Prize winning machine which was designed to do people's walking for them. After a conference with Pauline Straub, who incidentally is the first woman President of. the United Nations, it was decided that the first planetary rays would be taken to Pluto and after much deliberation it was decided to take the entire L. H. S. class of 1950 on this trip so that some start could be made to populate this yet-unpopulated planet. With Junior-Jet-Dague as pilot of this space ship, this distinguished group of citizens pro- ceeded to their destination to set up a new colony that will be as long remembered as the Jamestown or Plymouth settlements. Passing through the celestial heavens for a period of two weeks, this group of pioneers finally landed on Pluto during the summer of 1965. Immediately upon arriving they founded the new city of Lido (Lodi inside out). Just to give you an idea of the life on this planet let's look around and see how the rest of the class has flourished during this project. Because Harold McGrady was not allowed to drive in Lodi he set up the Lido transporta- tion system, which has been appropriately called the Loonyville Trolley. The two champion Lady wrestlers who have attracted universal attention are Joyce “Tex” Underwood and Vivian “Tiny” Wightman. The most recent best seller was a lengthy novel written by Ryta Derhammer. The name of this manuscript is: ‘Forever Ryta.” Laura Cash has made a name for herself as a songwriter. Her latest Hit was rated No. | on the Pluto Hit Parade. This ditty, dedicated to Howard since she left the other world is en- titled “I’m Up In The Air Over You.” All government classes on Pluto are now under the instruction of THE Prof. Howard F. Farnsworth, whose record in high school speaks for itself. Keeping in tune with the old adage ‘There's a sucker born every minute,’ another sucker, Bill Bittner, is now running a circus which features some of the greatest freaks of all- time. Bill also doubles as side show barker. His biggest attractions include, Kathy Smith, who is now the fattest lady in the universe, Miriam Szikula, who is the most whistled at hula girl on Pluto and Paul-Itchy-Shriver, who now owns the most versatile flea circus known to man. Incidentally, Lois Gorey has been hired as a trained nurse for Paul's pets. Another of his main attractions is Bqrbara Beebe, the only woman knife thrower on Pluto. Her accuracy is said to be so great that she has now opened up a barber shop on the side. Pete Reynolds, is now engaged in a unique occupation. Putting forth all the energy he can summon, he now is a tester for a mattress company. The sports conscious members of the newly explored planet have been amazed recently by the brilliant pitching record of Satchmo Aukerman, who has compiled a record of 53 straight wins as a pitcher for Lido Lions. The amazing part of this record is the fact that these wins have included at least one from each of the 5 planets now inhabited. The Smart Susie Sweater Shop, managed by Sally White, is known to have the most ex- clusive collection of sweaters known to man. Her success is no doubt due to her very early collection. Proclaimed as the most useful and informa- tional book of the century is the new book by Phillip Norton. This book entitled ‘Prominent Parking Places on Pluto,” has been a boon to the romeos of the world. Janitor of the new Lido School is Larry House. It has been claimed that Larry is wearing out the broom handles faster than the brooms. That excessive weight on the handles all the time no doubt has something to do with it. Atlas has nothing on Dale Sanford. You've heard how Atlas lifted the world on his shoulders; well, while Atlas holds the world on his shoulders Dale picks Atlas up, and is able to hold him there for long periods of time. Lorene Shaw has finally come through with a'new delicacy for the diners here on Pluto. It's a modernization of the U. S. hot dog, but up in Pluto they call them “Hot Plutos.” Well, now you know why I said that this was a spectacular undertaking and probably never again will it happen.

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Gordon Vivian Bill | Ryta Pauline Miriam