Lindsay Collegiate and Vocational Institute - Tatler Yearbook (Lindsay, Ontario Canada)

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THE L. C I. TATLER 59 HILAWTY. l i..-1--L p1,F. L To edit the hilarity section Has been a novelty to us, We've found out lots and lots of things That would surely raise a fuss. They would give you something to laugh at And perhaps to wail albout too But to get them past the censors Was more than we could do. Your editors, Nerts land Willie The boy stood on the burning deck Eating his curds and whey So don't forget a bird in the, hand' Gathers no moss. Little Russ Horner sat in the corner, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, The little Red Hen said I will , Brother can you spare a dime? The above are written with due apology to Tennyson, Milton, Zane Grey and Shakespeare. Now from the sublime to the ridiculous Miss Adams: walling for number of French mistakes? Jean le Cra,w? Groves fwho h-as closely marked her pap- erl: Perfect, And who said that chivalry was dead. 2700 years ago Aesop said-a miss in the car is worth two in the engine. Depression is just a game of golf, the darkie said: All dat it takes to overcome the depression am three puts . . . putt yer faith in Gawd, putt yer Ford in de shed, and putt yer folks in de field. We hear that Miss Garbutt and Hart have had another falling out in French. Life seems to be just one Hart-break after another. I Mr. Hale Cwhile remarking upon the poem Mari-anna J said that during the day Marianna was at her ease as Sleep was far away from her. iWe wonder why Milf. blushedl. Abbott- I wonder how old Miss Ger- rish is? Dart- Well they say she used to teach Ceasari' Mr. Breese- How long have you been away? O'Leary- Since the wa-r of 1812. Hill: I don't suppose you don t know of nobody who don't want to hire nobody to do nothing don't you. White: eYs, I don't.

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58 THE L. C. I. TATLER. COMMERCIAL FORMS What does the future hold for you- Life in the business world? Then come along to Commercial And have your future furled. If you want to bang on a typewriter, If shorthand beckons too. Then come along to Commercial Your careers prepared for you. And we have jolly times you know You simply can't get blue Although I s'pose we do some things We really shouldrrt do. But after all, don't think of that For we learn lots, you bet! So come along to Commercial 'I'hat's a move you won't regret. Mr. Lee was speaking on profits and gains in arithmetic. Noticing Osborne Hadley enjoying va. quiet sleep, he cried, Hadley, which are the lesser profits? Sir! he said, springing up, Who am I to discriminate among these holy men? Mr. Breese was most anxious that his history class in junior Commercial should shine as the inspector had arrived and was about to examine the class on their knowledge of History. Who was it, said he sternly, Who ex- claimed in despair A horse! a horse! my kingdom for a horse! Mr. Breese was anxious until Lloyd Babcock raised his hand.. Please sir, he said, It was someone who'd drawn a blank in a 'sweepstakel'

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60 THE L. C. I. TATLER We pause to inform you that the hil- arity editors of this issue of the Tatler are almost positive of an important posi- tion with A'Ballyhoo or Hush following the depletion of their education here. Funny but we couldn't find anything good enough to put in albout Kay Neil. We wondered why Mr. Paterson was so absent-minded around Thanksgiving tune till we happened to look in the Personal column of the Post. We think the Board of Ed11Cati0I1 should censor Mr. Lee for his inveterate habit of betting on his rugby team as during the game he could be heard shout- ing Get that quarter back, Get that quarter back! Miss ,Clark and Miss Gerrish ought to have considerable in common or else the birdies have made a big mistake. Mr. Hale treading from Macbethl: 'Fillet of fenny snake In the cauldron boil and bake- Bob Smith: Soup's on! Miss Adams Cdictatingl: Grandmother kneaded the dough. Graham fat boardl: La grandmere avait besoin de 1' argent. He calls his girl quisquan-she's so indefinite. We have been asked to draw your at- tention to a new kind of fence post. Un- like the old fence post that had to be placed in the ground this new invention comes with ground attached. All that that is necessary is to dig a number of holes and insert each post with its ground attached. Full directions may be obtain- ed from Mr. Faulkner, the proud inventor. Endicott-I dreamed last nigtht that I proposed to you,-I wonder what that is a sign of? Dot Fairfield-It's a si-gn that you have more sense when you're asleep than when you're awake. Miss Adams: Say, who is doing all that talking over there? Gregory: There was no one talking over here Miss Adams. Miss Adams: Say who is in charge of this class. If I say there was someone talking there someone was talking alrigiht. 2600 years ago Aesop said a hen sit- ting on a china egg would be better off. Mr. Couke: What's a joule Bradford? Bradford: What, Sir? Mr. Couke: Yes that's right, Bradford, one watt. Doing better work in mech- anics this year Bradford. Mr. McMillan: Smith, will you do this geometry question at the board? iSmith does so.l Mr. McMillan: Now if Smith can do it all the rest of you ought to be able to do it Advice to young ladies. Never go horse- back riding with your Kboy friend, because horses carry tails. And girls if he tries to pull that old one about the beautiful lblonde being his cousin, tell him she isn't his first cousin. A Sleep -fto Enidicottl: If you were rid- ing on a jackass what fruit would you remind me of? Endicott: I dou't know, what? Sleep: A beautiful pear. A little bird tells us that McGinnis is going in for 'quarrying 2600 years ago Aesop said miracles nev- er happen to those that stand and wait. You see you can't depend on sparrows. We hear Tripp kissed va girl three times after a hockey game at Bobcaygeon. Too bad, we'll miss Jack! Fred Williams Cto Galagherl: 'I wish you'd stop that habit of yours. Galagher: What habit? Williams: Breathing .