Lindsay Collegiate and Vocational Institute - Tatler Yearbook (Lindsay, Ontario Canada)

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THE L.C.L TA TLER 73 great deficiency. When your grid and cinder man comes to dine with you just keep him at a safe distance from the kitchen and with the aid of a Can- ned Cooked Dinner everything will be O.K. Follow the directions on the out- side of the can and the dinner will be such ta difference from the usual ones, that your Romeo cannot help but feel impressed. If the dinner is not up to your expectations, chloroform is avail- able at any drugstore and if adminis- tered in small quantities your admirer will not feel like eating, but by the time you are ready for the dance the effects should be sufficiently worn off for him to take you. Hoping this advice proves valuable to you, I am as ever, ANNIE LAURIE How many of us remember Georgina Walker of last year's Commercial Class? Mr. Lucas reports that out of a class of 250 in Detroit. Georgina came nrst, winning a gold medal for her pains. Keep it up, Georgie! Commercial wishes to congratulate Mr. Lucas on his splendid performance at the curling rink this winter, and hopes he may do even better another season. Good luck, sir! A MODERN CONVERSATION Walking home from school one even- ing, I met My Ideal . Hello Beautiful, I said, Would you like to take a walk? Oh Kay, she said, so we strolled through the Blue Pacino Moonlight along the Magic Highway . Under the spell of a kiss, I waxed eloquent and told her a Cheerful Little Earful including many Little W'hite Lies. I said, You're My Secret Passion, My Love For You will not la-st Over- night but Always even When Your Hair Has Turned To Silver. I will not regard you as having been Just a Gigilo . but as My Blue Heaven I will always think of you as the Sweet- heart of My Student Days. But she replied, You're Driving Me Crazy, with all your love talk, I Ani Only Passing Time With You. So Walking My Baby Back Home I was Blue Again. W.B. L. C. I., 12!2!31. Dear Annie Laurie:- Unlike many that I have heard talk- ing about the perfect girl they know, I have never met a perfect girl. My birth- day is Feiiruary the 29th. How many years will I have to wait until I shall meet Her? Yours in expectation, LEE P. YEAR. Dear Lee P Year:- How can I answer your query when you don't even tell me how many birth- days you have already had? Why worry about your age when your happiness is at stake? However, I suggest that you celebrate your birthday one day later, and then I leave the time that you must wait to your own judgment. From girls I have heard that the perfect girl can only appear before a perfect boy! Your friend, e ANNIE LAURIE. THE FROST When hills and fields are powdered white, And bitterly cold the northwind blows, Upon the window in the night A fairy garden grows. Here lilies that no hand hath sown, Bloom white as foam upon the seag One little breath their beauty's gone- Oh may they not be marred by me. MARION PEEL IV. A BAISYS SMILE A tear Is wiped awayg and soft A sigh escapes a motl1er's lips: Her child, Sweet in it-3 cradle, little knows The pangs within the lllOtl16l S heart That tear has -caused. A smile- And little dimples g10W3 The mother, strangely stirred, clasps close Her child. She seeks to fully understand What holy beauty of love is in A baby's smile. ALICE E. HALL. Johnston:-- That swell looking girl is dead from the neck up! McLean:- Well, she can bury her head in my arms any time!

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72 THE L. C. L TATLER IVhat am I to do- If I do not regain her favour I think it will brefik my heart. Please help me, Annie Laurie. Yours, UNO HOWE. L. C. I., March 2. 1931. Dear Uno Howe:- Your lot is hard but I do not see any reason why you find it so difficult to convey an invitation to a girl. My own experience has taught me that all the girls are ready to receive them and al- low many opportunities! Then if time presses you in school hours and you are not able to approach your fair one there, why not write to her? You could have it delivered by a friend in her class. But I would advise your making a big effort to retain your composure at all timesg no doubt 'her refusal was prompt- ed because she was mortified at the ex- hibitions you have made in approaching her. Wishing you all kinds of success in your new endeavour, I remain, Sincerely yours, ANNIE LAURIE. L, C. I., March 3rd, 1931. Dear Annie Laurie:- Here I am-another one seeking ad- vice from one who understands the plights of others. Everyone seems to think that I'm a good-looking man and I am continually having to discourage girls because they all seem to have a decided preference for my company. That is, all but one -the girl of my choice. Annie, she says that she detests thin men and will not even consider a date with me at the present time. And what is worst of all, she says that unless I can gain forty pounds in three weeks she will not even consider me one of her admirers! Now Annie, you can understand how hard it is for me to gain that weight in the specified time. I, who can only eat four meals a day on account of my weak stomach. I used to be able to assimilate six good healthy meals but now my tendency towards biliousness makes that course impossible. As it is I only weigh a mere 240 pounds and I know how unpleasant it must be for her to be seen with such a skinny, underfed man. Please help me with my problem. How can I gain that necessary 40 pounds? Yours, BILL YDS. Dear Bill Yust- Indeed yours is a real problem and even I hesitate to offer a suggestion lest it fail to bring you up to the required mark. Now, Bill Yus, I have the sure road tossuccess is to make your girl-friend jealous. Make her fear that or do some- decided that she is going to lose you thing that will make her feel sorry for you. Perhaps it would be adviseable to transfer your attentions to the pretty young lady who sits across from you second period in the morning. If I'm not mistaken, your desired one is -al- ready a little jealous of her and I'n1 sure, when she finds your glances are no longer in her direction, she will try to win you back. If this fails, just leave out two of your precious four meals a day, and when she sees you dwindling to a shadow she will relent her harsh decision and take you back into her good graces. I hope that this will solve the prob- lem that confronts you, Bill Yus, for yours is one of the I11OSt baffling that I have yet encountered. ' Your friend, ANNIE LAURIE. L. C. I., February 13, 1931. Dear Annie Laurie:- In the direst of all my trouble, I turn to you for help, I say my direst trouble because I ani in danger of los- ing 1ny dearly beloved Romeo. You can have no idea how wonderful he is, ia great, big he-man , a hero of the grid and cinder track . It would break my heart to lose him, but that is what will happen if you cannot come to my aid! He admires a girl who can cook: but he also admires a girl who can be gay and frivolous. When he asked me to our Collegiate dance I was delighted, but he said if I failed him he would never take me to another, and requested that he dine that night at my house and eat a dinner made entirely by me! Now dear Annie Laurie you can understand my quandary, I who can scarcely boil water! If I refuse to cook the dinner he will refuse to take me to the dance. Then again, if I let him eat a dinner I prepared, he will likely be too ill to take me, and his dear life might be en- dangered! Oh, whatever will I do? Yours, KANT KOOK. L. C. I., February 14, 1931 Dear Kant Kookz- You certainly are in a very unpleas- ant situation. The fact that your hero had a double ideal in the girl he admires makes it very hard for you. However you can easily overcome your

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