Lindsay Collegiate and Vocational Institute - Tatler Yearbook (Lindsay, Ontario Canada)

Page 85 text:

72 THE L. C. L TATLER IVhat am I to do- If I do not regain her favour I think it will brefik my heart. Please help me, Annie Laurie. Yours, UNO HOWE. L. C. I., March 2. 1931. Dear Uno Howe:- Your lot is hard but I do not see any reason why you find it so difficult to convey an invitation to a girl. My own experience has taught me that all the girls are ready to receive them and al- low many opportunities! Then if time presses you in school hours and you are not able to approach your fair one there, why not write to her? You could have it delivered by a friend in her class. But I would advise your making a big effort to retain your composure at all timesg no doubt 'her refusal was prompt- ed because she was mortified at the ex- hibitions you have made in approaching her. Wishing you all kinds of success in your new endeavour, I remain, Sincerely yours, ANNIE LAURIE. L, C. I., March 3rd, 1931. Dear Annie Laurie:- Here I am-another one seeking ad- vice from one who understands the plights of others. Everyone seems to think that I'm a good-looking man and I am continually having to discourage girls because they all seem to have a decided preference for my company. That is, all but one -the girl of my choice. Annie, she says that she detests thin men and will not even consider a date with me at the present time. And what is worst of all, she says that unless I can gain forty pounds in three weeks she will not even consider me one of her admirers! Now Annie, you can understand how hard it is for me to gain that weight in the specified time. I, who can only eat four meals a day on account of my weak stomach. I used to be able to assimilate six good healthy meals but now my tendency towards biliousness makes that course impossible. As it is I only weigh a mere 240 pounds and I know how unpleasant it must be for her to be seen with such a skinny, underfed man. Please help me with my problem. How can I gain that necessary 40 pounds? Yours, BILL YDS. Dear Bill Yust- Indeed yours is a real problem and even I hesitate to offer a suggestion lest it fail to bring you up to the required mark. Now, Bill Yus, I have the sure road tossuccess is to make your girl-friend jealous. Make her fear that or do some- decided that she is going to lose you thing that will make her feel sorry for you. Perhaps it would be adviseable to transfer your attentions to the pretty young lady who sits across from you second period in the morning. If I'm not mistaken, your desired one is -al- ready a little jealous of her and I'n1 sure, when she finds your glances are no longer in her direction, she will try to win you back. If this fails, just leave out two of your precious four meals a day, and when she sees you dwindling to a shadow she will relent her harsh decision and take you back into her good graces. I hope that this will solve the prob- lem that confronts you, Bill Yus, for yours is one of the I11OSt baffling that I have yet encountered. ' Your friend, ANNIE LAURIE. L. C. I., February 13, 1931. Dear Annie Laurie:- In the direst of all my trouble, I turn to you for help, I say my direst trouble because I ani in danger of los- ing 1ny dearly beloved Romeo. You can have no idea how wonderful he is, ia great, big he-man , a hero of the grid and cinder track . It would break my heart to lose him, but that is what will happen if you cannot come to my aid! He admires a girl who can cook: but he also admires a girl who can be gay and frivolous. When he asked me to our Collegiate dance I was delighted, but he said if I failed him he would never take me to another, and requested that he dine that night at my house and eat a dinner made entirely by me! Now dear Annie Laurie you can understand my quandary, I who can scarcely boil water! If I refuse to cook the dinner he will refuse to take me to the dance. Then again, if I let him eat a dinner I prepared, he will likely be too ill to take me, and his dear life might be en- dangered! Oh, whatever will I do? Yours, KANT KOOK. L. C. I., February 14, 1931 Dear Kant Kookz- You certainly are in a very unpleas- ant situation. The fact that your hero had a double ideal in the girl he admires makes it very hard for you. However you can easily overcome your

Page 84 text:

THE L. C.L TA TLER 71 L. C. I., February 10th, 1931. Dear Annie Laurie:- What are rabbies and what would you do for them? W-here should a lady be when walking with a gentleman on a walk. Yours, HARD LUCK Dear Hard Luck:- They are Jewish Priests and I am afraid I wouldn't do anything for them. The lady should be inside -the gentle- man. Yours, ANNIE LAURIE. Dear Annie Laurie:- I am a student in the Senior Com- mercial with the sole ambition to knock the world dead in the sten- ography line. Study my shorthand and gramalogues as I will, till my head actually reels, my beloved teacher insists that I don't know any short hand and I'll never be a stenographer! Can that 'be possible, Annie Laurie? Isn't it just possible that he doesn't really appreciate a gen- ius when he sees -one? Alas, it makes me quite disheartened, for I ask you. Annie, how can one make a success as a stenog. with such opposition? I had seriously considered being a bookkeeper-as I am quite proficient- but I am told the world tat the present time of depressionl is practically over- run with bookkeepersl And again my hopes were crashed when Mr. Lee, our instructive mathematician, kindly tat least he meant it kindlyl informed me that I'd never be any use in a brokers otfice. I implore you, dear Annie Laurie, what shall I do? I'm afraid I ani a total failure. I thought I might get married or some- thing desperate like that. But as a cook I'm a flop and too, no one has asked me yet! Rack my brains as I will, I cannot think of any way out of this my sorry plight. I iniplore you, Annie Laurie, think of something as I am desperate and I have no desire to end my young life in the waters of the Scugog. Yours in trouble, CALANIITY JANE. L. C. I.. February 13th, 1931. Dear Calamity Jane:- Truly your troubles are many! How- ever do not let the teachers' discourag- ing words dishearten you. Maybe if you appear inditferent to their harsh critic-ism, apply yourself diligently, and do your homework ev- ery night, they will begin praising you, or if not they must -at least stop criticis- ing your work. Then your success in commercial life will 'be assured and you will again seek the spotlight. Busi- ness depression is bound to right itself. There must 'certainly be an opening for you in bookkeeping. By all means con- tinue your studies for fby your letter I would judge you to be a very clever person. Hoping that this advice proves help- ful, I remain, ANNIE LAURIE. Study Room, L. C. I., February 27th, 1931. Dear Annie Laurie:- Like most of those who write to you, I am a student in the L. C. I., and like everyone else who is such, I am in trouble. You must know, dear Annie Laurie. what our feelings are when we walk in the girls' door of a classroom and ap- proach a fair OIIGVS seat only to meet the interested look of one of the staff passing out the other. I am told by the fellows that I personally turn a deep crimson, blushing to the roots of my carrot-topped hair, that I lose my nerve, that I stammer and stutter an invitation to the girl and altogether appear so ridiculous that it is little wonder this modern maid turns me clown in favour of another. You must know my chagrin. People flatter me that I have an attractive personality and Oh Annie, she is gorgeous! Even to look at her makes my heart throb in eager anticipation. Her eyes, oh so round, are a dark brown, her pretty hair falling in icurls at her SIIOIIICIQFS makes a picture few artists could do credit to, I know. Must I continue to be a worshipper from afar? All my ef- forts to arrange a date are futile! I have hurried at breakneck speed along the upstairs hall to meet her at the study room door, tthere is only one en- trance therel but I must always stop in my tracks at the sight of some mem- ber of the staff. Once perchance, I drew near enough to touch her gently, it was at noon and I knew we had little time, but I could not resist detaining her and how thrilled I was when she said she would see about it, but, Oh Annie, the bell rang and it made her late. Need I tell you that she wouldn't go with me to The Kent, and I cannot arrange another date, through trying to avoid the principal only to meet o11e who causes me even more embarrass- ment.

Page 86 text:

THE L.C.L TA TLER 73 great deficiency. When your grid and cinder man comes to dine with you just keep him at a safe distance from the kitchen and with the aid of a Can- ned Cooked Dinner everything will be O.K. Follow the directions on the out- side of the can and the dinner will be such ta difference from the usual ones, that your Romeo cannot help but feel impressed. If the dinner is not up to your expectations, chloroform is avail- able at any drugstore and if adminis- tered in small quantities your admirer will not feel like eating, but by the time you are ready for the dance the effects should be sufficiently worn off for him to take you. Hoping this advice proves valuable to you, I am as ever, ANNIE LAURIE How many of us remember Georgina Walker of last year's Commercial Class? Mr. Lucas reports that out of a class of 250 in Detroit. Georgina came nrst, winning a gold medal for her pains. Keep it up, Georgie! Commercial wishes to congratulate Mr. Lucas on his splendid performance at the curling rink this winter, and hopes he may do even better another season. Good luck, sir! A MODERN CONVERSATION Walking home from school one even- ing, I met My Ideal . Hello Beautiful, I said, Would you like to take a walk? Oh Kay, she said, so we strolled through the Blue Pacino Moonlight along the Magic Highway . Under the spell of a kiss, I waxed eloquent and told her a Cheerful Little Earful including many Little W'hite Lies. I said, You're My Secret Passion, My Love For You will not la-st Over- night but Always even When Your Hair Has Turned To Silver. I will not regard you as having been Just a Gigilo . but as My Blue Heaven I will always think of you as the Sweet- heart of My Student Days. But she replied, You're Driving Me Crazy, with all your love talk, I Ani Only Passing Time With You. So Walking My Baby Back Home I was Blue Again. W.B. L. C. I., 12!2!31. Dear Annie Laurie:- Unlike many that I have heard talk- ing about the perfect girl they know, I have never met a perfect girl. My birth- day is Feiiruary the 29th. How many years will I have to wait until I shall meet Her? Yours in expectation, LEE P. YEAR. Dear Lee P Year:- How can I answer your query when you don't even tell me how many birth- days you have already had? Why worry about your age when your happiness is at stake? However, I suggest that you celebrate your birthday one day later, and then I leave the time that you must wait to your own judgment. From girls I have heard that the perfect girl can only appear before a perfect boy! Your friend, e ANNIE LAURIE. THE FROST When hills and fields are powdered white, And bitterly cold the northwind blows, Upon the window in the night A fairy garden grows. Here lilies that no hand hath sown, Bloom white as foam upon the seag One little breath their beauty's gone- Oh may they not be marred by me. MARION PEEL IV. A BAISYS SMILE A tear Is wiped awayg and soft A sigh escapes a motl1er's lips: Her child, Sweet in it-3 cradle, little knows The pangs within the lllOtl16l S heart That tear has -caused. A smile- And little dimples g10W3 The mother, strangely stirred, clasps close Her child. She seeks to fully understand What holy beauty of love is in A baby's smile. ALICE E. HALL. Johnston:-- That swell looking girl is dead from the neck up! McLean:- Well, she can bury her head in my arms any time!