Lindsay Collegiate and Vocational Institute - Tatler Yearbook (Lindsay, Ontario Canada)

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THE L. C.L TA TLER 71 L. C. I., February 10th, 1931. Dear Annie Laurie:- What are rabbies and what would you do for them? W-here should a lady be when walking with a gentleman on a walk. Yours, HARD LUCK Dear Hard Luck:- They are Jewish Priests and I am afraid I wouldn't do anything for them. The lady should be inside -the gentle- man. Yours, ANNIE LAURIE. Dear Annie Laurie:- I am a student in the Senior Com- mercial with the sole ambition to knock the world dead in the sten- ography line. Study my shorthand and gramalogues as I will, till my head actually reels, my beloved teacher insists that I don't know any short hand and I'll never be a stenographer! Can that 'be possible, Annie Laurie? Isn't it just possible that he doesn't really appreciate a gen- ius when he sees -one? Alas, it makes me quite disheartened, for I ask you. Annie, how can one make a success as a stenog. with such opposition? I had seriously considered being a bookkeeper-as I am quite proficient- but I am told the world tat the present time of depressionl is practically over- run with bookkeepersl And again my hopes were crashed when Mr. Lee, our instructive mathematician, kindly tat least he meant it kindlyl informed me that I'd never be any use in a brokers otfice. I implore you, dear Annie Laurie, what shall I do? I'm afraid I ani a total failure. I thought I might get married or some- thing desperate like that. But as a cook I'm a flop and too, no one has asked me yet! Rack my brains as I will, I cannot think of any way out of this my sorry plight. I iniplore you, Annie Laurie, think of something as I am desperate and I have no desire to end my young life in the waters of the Scugog. Yours in trouble, CALANIITY JANE. L. C. I.. February 13th, 1931. Dear Calamity Jane:- Truly your troubles are many! How- ever do not let the teachers' discourag- ing words dishearten you. Maybe if you appear inditferent to their harsh critic-ism, apply yourself diligently, and do your homework ev- ery night, they will begin praising you, or if not they must -at least stop criticis- ing your work. Then your success in commercial life will 'be assured and you will again seek the spotlight. Busi- ness depression is bound to right itself. There must 'certainly be an opening for you in bookkeeping. By all means con- tinue your studies for fby your letter I would judge you to be a very clever person. Hoping that this advice proves help- ful, I remain, ANNIE LAURIE. Study Room, L. C. I., February 27th, 1931. Dear Annie Laurie:- Like most of those who write to you, I am a student in the L. C. I., and like everyone else who is such, I am in trouble. You must know, dear Annie Laurie. what our feelings are when we walk in the girls' door of a classroom and ap- proach a fair OIIGVS seat only to meet the interested look of one of the staff passing out the other. I am told by the fellows that I personally turn a deep crimson, blushing to the roots of my carrot-topped hair, that I lose my nerve, that I stammer and stutter an invitation to the girl and altogether appear so ridiculous that it is little wonder this modern maid turns me clown in favour of another. You must know my chagrin. People flatter me that I have an attractive personality and Oh Annie, she is gorgeous! Even to look at her makes my heart throb in eager anticipation. Her eyes, oh so round, are a dark brown, her pretty hair falling in icurls at her SIIOIIICIQFS makes a picture few artists could do credit to, I know. Must I continue to be a worshipper from afar? All my ef- forts to arrange a date are futile! I have hurried at breakneck speed along the upstairs hall to meet her at the study room door, tthere is only one en- trance therel but I must always stop in my tracks at the sight of some mem- ber of the staff. Once perchance, I drew near enough to touch her gently, it was at noon and I knew we had little time, but I could not resist detaining her and how thrilled I was when she said she would see about it, but, Oh Annie, the bell rang and it made her late. Need I tell you that she wouldn't go with me to The Kent, and I cannot arrange another date, through trying to avoid the principal only to meet o11e who causes me even more embarrass- ment.

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70 THE L.C.L TATLER Annie L. C. I. February 7th, 1931. Dear Annie Laurie:-- You have been recommended to nie, as a very good person to go to with any trouble, and so in despair I ask your advice. I am a recent comer, and do not like girls, no matter how beautiful or clever they may be. But as soon as I arrived, I was beseiged on all sides, in class, out of class, everywhere. These girls, whose intentions may be good, seem to think that it is time l have chosen one of them as a favorite. I cannot, it seems, look at one but what she catches the glance and the next time I see her, on the street perhaps, I get the most delicious smile and -Oh hello. It seems to me now that I have a li11e like that which would reach from here to San Francisco! They do every- thing to attract my attention and if I do take notice the fortunate lady flashes -a triumphant smile at the others and acknowledges my kindness with an in- vitation to a tobogganing party or other function at which she knows I'll have a wonderful time! And if perchance I am tempted to accept and attend with her, I find that in shorter time than I could have imagined that fact has been broadcast and I am expected to con- tinue. I have no time nor desire to be- come friendly with any of them and to have a number on my trail, like some of my comrades, is distressing. I hope that you will be able to tell me how to escape as my future peace of mind rests upon it. You are a lady yourself, and therefore should under- standg and you have the honor of being the only lady I have ever consulted. Trustfully, INNA FIX. L. C. I. February 10th, 1931. Dear Inna Fix:- Your position is certainly a trying one and though I -should be very SOl'l'y to tell you to be rude, yet I feel your case is hopeless, unless you pay no at- tention whatever to these frivolous girls. Never smile, when they look -at you, but appear to be far 1no1'e interest- ed in your book, your latin grammar for instance. And if you find your mind wandering back to the fair one, follow the advice of the illustrious Dr. Barker and shout to it 'Tome back! Come back! lf at tirst this is little effective you may be alarmed when you look up and meet her pretty smile again but immediately grin, as if your mouth autriie were in contact with a green sour apple, lower the angle of elevation of your head and retreat into the mystery of your book. If they speak to you dis- guise fair nature with hard-favoured rage and lend the eye a terrible aspect. Follow this advice and I am sure that they will leave you in peace and with Dr. Barker's conviction you may antici- pate a higher percentage! Kindly let me know the result of this advice, Your friend, ANNIE LAURIE. L. C. I. February 12th, 1931. Dear Annie Laurie:- A great problem confronts rne and the thought that it concerns four-hun- dred and ninety-nine others in the school gives me courage to ask the question in your columns in The Tat- ler. You know how it was this year, last year it was the same, and now with the Juniors coming along I feel a 'crisis is at hand! The time has come when I must have some experienced person's judgment on this very important ques- tion, the contemplation of which has caused me many nights of restlessness and corresponding days of anxiety. Dear Annie Laurie, this matter is of vital importance. By it many 'homes have been upset, so you see I am not alone concerned and the whole school is in- terested. I know I am asking a great deal of you, Annie Laurie, that it will cause deep thinking while deciding. Please lay aside all personal feelings and tell me from the bottom of your heart, will the senior rugby team ever amount to anything? Yours hopefully, RUG. B. FAN. L. C. I., February 13th, 1931. Dear Rug. B. Fan:- I found your letter most interesting because I had not known such interest was manifest in the rugby team. Take hope, Rug, this year's Juniors will be next year's Seniors, do not despair be- cause they appear to take off the mantle of good rugby when they put on that of Upper School students! Join the rest of the interested students in cheer- ing the boys along next season. But take my advice and spend your leisure moments thinking about your home- work instead of such trifles. Yours truly, ANNIE LAURIE.

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72 THE L. C. L TATLER IVhat am I to do- If I do not regain her favour I think it will brefik my heart. Please help me, Annie Laurie. Yours, UNO HOWE. L. C. I., March 2. 1931. Dear Uno Howe:- Your lot is hard but I do not see any reason why you find it so difficult to convey an invitation to a girl. My own experience has taught me that all the girls are ready to receive them and al- low many opportunities! Then if time presses you in school hours and you are not able to approach your fair one there, why not write to her? You could have it delivered by a friend in her class. But I would advise your making a big effort to retain your composure at all timesg no doubt 'her refusal was prompt- ed because she was mortified at the ex- hibitions you have made in approaching her. Wishing you all kinds of success in your new endeavour, I remain, Sincerely yours, ANNIE LAURIE. L, C. I., March 3rd, 1931. Dear Annie Laurie:- Here I am-another one seeking ad- vice from one who understands the plights of others. Everyone seems to think that I'm a good-looking man and I am continually having to discourage girls because they all seem to have a decided preference for my company. That is, all but one -the girl of my choice. Annie, she says that she detests thin men and will not even consider a date with me at the present time. And what is worst of all, she says that unless I can gain forty pounds in three weeks she will not even consider me one of her admirers! Now Annie, you can understand how hard it is for me to gain that weight in the specified time. I, who can only eat four meals a day on account of my weak stomach. I used to be able to assimilate six good healthy meals but now my tendency towards biliousness makes that course impossible. As it is I only weigh a mere 240 pounds and I know how unpleasant it must be for her to be seen with such a skinny, underfed man. Please help me with my problem. How can I gain that necessary 40 pounds? Yours, BILL YDS. Dear Bill Yust- Indeed yours is a real problem and even I hesitate to offer a suggestion lest it fail to bring you up to the required mark. Now, Bill Yus, I have the sure road tossuccess is to make your girl-friend jealous. Make her fear that or do some- decided that she is going to lose you thing that will make her feel sorry for you. Perhaps it would be adviseable to transfer your attentions to the pretty young lady who sits across from you second period in the morning. If I'm not mistaken, your desired one is -al- ready a little jealous of her and I'n1 sure, when she finds your glances are no longer in her direction, she will try to win you back. If this fails, just leave out two of your precious four meals a day, and when she sees you dwindling to a shadow she will relent her harsh decision and take you back into her good graces. I hope that this will solve the prob- lem that confronts you, Bill Yus, for yours is one of the I11OSt baffling that I have yet encountered. ' Your friend, ANNIE LAURIE. L. C. I., February 13, 1931. Dear Annie Laurie:- In the direst of all my trouble, I turn to you for help, I say my direst trouble because I ani in danger of los- ing 1ny dearly beloved Romeo. You can have no idea how wonderful he is, ia great, big he-man , a hero of the grid and cinder track . It would break my heart to lose him, but that is what will happen if you cannot come to my aid! He admires a girl who can cook: but he also admires a girl who can be gay and frivolous. When he asked me to our Collegiate dance I was delighted, but he said if I failed him he would never take me to another, and requested that he dine that night at my house and eat a dinner made entirely by me! Now dear Annie Laurie you can understand my quandary, I who can scarcely boil water! If I refuse to cook the dinner he will refuse to take me to the dance. Then again, if I let him eat a dinner I prepared, he will likely be too ill to take me, and his dear life might be en- dangered! Oh, whatever will I do? Yours, KANT KOOK. L. C. I., February 14, 1931 Dear Kant Kookz- You certainly are in a very unpleas- ant situation. The fact that your hero had a double ideal in the girl he admires makes it very hard for you. However you can easily overcome your