Lincolnton High School - Pine Burr Yearbook (Lincolnton, NC)

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It is nearing time for the unveiling, and the crowds are beginning to move toward the huge mystery statue. Suddenly a disturbance on the driveway distracts everyone. The car of Harry Heavner, partftime physics teacher and ribbon clerk, has broken down. Two mechanics, Ernest Beynolds and Belton Tucker, happen to be near and offer to help. They suggest that a heavy load in the trunk could be the trouble. Meanwhile, interior decorators Gayle Burris and Martha VVithers, who have just finished an outfit job on Lincoln Gounty's first rocketship to Mars, are talking to housewives Priscilla Goodson, Dorthy Stanley, and Shirley Polhill. The topic of their conversation is Judie Reinhardt, a home economist who has become famous for a new turnip pie discovery. Prom the tree where I am giving you this report, l can see that the unveiling pro- ceedings are about to begin. That just gives me enough time to spy on a few more interesting personalities. I see Bud Warlick, prosperous local undertaker, talking to businessmen Larry Boach and Daniel lVlartin about his Go now, pay latern plan, but they don't seem interested. Kay Heafner, a pediatrician, Sandra Lockee, an Xfray technician, Betty Blanton, a psychiatrist: and Francis Bynum, an occupational therapist, are merely standing around throwing technical terms at each other, while Phyllis Eurey, a college coed, stands by trying to figure them out. Frances Garter, who married a Mongolian millionaire who went broke, is telling her troubles briefly to Nancy 'lane Smart, an Air Force nurse. And now, what seems to have been an uneventful day is coming to an end, it appears, as the unveiling proceedings are ready to start. But waitl There has been an auto accident nearby on the highway. jerry lioyle, a truck driver, apparently saw airline stewardesses Suzanne Beal, Phyllis Atkins, and Diana Keener walking down tha street and ran into a telephone pole. jerry was not hurt, but nurses Priscilla lngle, Shelvia Wood, and Gail Houser, who were also on the scene, were there to help him in case he was. Back at the Sundrop estate, the mystery statue is about to be unveiled by Gene Shu' ford, head football coach at Grouse State. Air Force soldiers Bobby Boss, Harry Lee Miller, jerry Gline, Bobby Leonard, Larry llawkins, Terry Glinc, Gene Gilbert, Milton Keener, and jerry Gash are on hand to prevent any riots that might take place when the statue is revealed. Finally Coach Shuford pulls a cord, and the covering Falls off the statue. When the spectators see the statue, they gasp, cheer, and applaud. Some even faint. let Pilots Billy Eury and Bob Taylor whiz over the crowd to mark the memorable occasion. l would like to report more, but a bulldozer, run by Richard Garpenter, is about to push over my tree. G. W. lVlcGee, a contractor, explains to me that this spot is soon to be an accounting agency headed by Bobby Ward. Oh yes, you must want to know just what that statue was. It was an image of F ' '- f - - ester Sundrops famous uncle, Abner Z. 7up, who else? PHILIP CERAHAIVI Page Twenty nzne

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CL SS P 0 C From out of the steaming, dark jungles, the high and windy hills, the sagehrush deserts, the mirror seas, and the superdreary cities comes word of a fantastic extrava- ganza occurring in the western hills of North Carolina. tl. Pester Sundrop, the million! aire financier, has just completed a huge marhle statue. No one knows just what the statue is, and it has become sort ol' a mystery. llowevcr, the statue is heing unveiled today, and many old friends and other people ol! interest are expected to he present at Nlr. Sundrops estate for this historic occasion. And of course radio station VVARP is hringing you this hroadcast, with yours truly at the microphone. Some of the first spectators to arrive are teachers Martha Chandler, Nancy Crowell, Becky lX'lcCrary, Celia Ann Caldwell, Larry Dean lloyle, Linda Brown, Nelda Lawing, and Polly Davis along with all their pupils. lncluded in the pupils is Larry Mae llovis, a smiling lad who has just written a hook entitled UI low I Tried To Fox the Board of Education. joe Bhodes, a television cameraman, is moving his equipment to a good position for the unveiling. Barry Devine, local larmer, is trying to stand in front of the camera and wave to the folks hack home, hut C. B. Duncan, the architect who is the cle' signer ol' the famous Yokum estate at Dogpatch. has stepped in liront ol' him to wave also. Among the distinguished visitors arriving is 'lim Carpenter, candidate for President of the United States on the Vegetarian ticket. Marie McAllister, a reporter for the New York Times, has just finished interviewing him. Telephone operators Carolyn Sain and Linda Pickens, and heautieians Shirley Avery, Sue 'lane Byers, and Louise Stallings are ga7ing at the sky very closely. Perhaps they are watching for Thomas Drury, a former civil engineer who is currently circling the earth inside another Sputnik. Thomas sends his regards to engineers james McLurd, Reggie Harvey, Bonald Ballard, Larry Long, Fred justice, Dickie Finger, and . . Fm . . tc ' Y, ludson Devine, the associates lhomas was working with when he was accidently trapped inside the satellite and sent up. Airplane Pilots Andris Barda and Danny Barger arrive on the scene with pleasant smiles on their Faces. They have just piloted a chartered plane with passengers Linda Ballard, 'ludy Beal, Barhara Biggerstalli, Patsy Bivens, Linda Bumgarner, Barbara Carpenter, Leslie Costner, Peggy Cunningham, ,lean Coins, Phyllis Coodson, jane lclines, Betty Sue llallman, Malinda lluss, Margaret ller, Nancy Lynn, Francis Mauney, .loann lklesser, kvlary Lou hlostcller, Betty lo Mull. Annette Murphy, Betty Norwood, Linda Beynolds, Phyllis Bice, Dorothy Bhyne, Barhara Stamey, Doris Sutton and Elaine Yoder, 'all secretaries, ahoard. That fellow with the gloomy look is Air Force Colonel Wlayne Shrum, who some- how had a mix-up in his plane reservations and was unfortunately forced to accompany the secretaries on the trip also. Max Schronce, who drives a Creyhound Bus on the Steve Allen Showfl is dis- cussing his joh with Leonard Keever, Boh Avery, Larry Auton, and jackie Liner, four partners who run a hot dog stand on the moon. I age Twenty eight

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