Lincoln University - Lion Yearbook (Lincoln University, PA)

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Senior Prophecy The Olympics were held this year and Stan Mumford walked away with high jump and pole vault honors for the U. S. St. Elmo Taylor has just bought another new sports car. Wonder who he will give this one to. Man finally reaches the moon. Dr. George Nemethy who headed project proclaimed greatest scientist of today. Milton Corsey, a dark horse candidate, is far ahead in new Jersey with one half of a precinct reporting. Always thought you would make President of the U. S. Mint. Stop! Look! Listen! Irving Harris and Joseph Johnson are starring on Ed Sulli- van’s Toast of the Town tonight at 8:00 o’clock. All Africa is now free. Njiiri’s and Ki- mani’s Labor Party finally bears fruit. Lonnie Fuller and “Dave” Bridgeford receive Nobel Prize for Cancer Cure. Don Taylor realizes lifetime ambition in the acquisition of dictatorship of man- made satelite. Daikness at Noon — Dr. Seldon blows out Sun Fuse with overheated ammeter. Lincoln University receives new dean of men — Dr. Walter Scriven. John “Pops” Durham, winner of Most Valuable Player award in the Canadian League is sorely missed this season after Iceberg crushes left foot in Alaskan exhi- bition game. Isaiah Smith stars in “Hell, Hook and Handle,” feature attraction in the Bowery’s only theatre, the Bijou, with ultra-magnifi- cent projectionist of fourth dimensional vista-scope, Dean Paul C. Cannon. Dr. Clarence Guy inaugurated as Presi- dent of the American Medical Association. Dr. Albert Johnson retires as President of Buick Division of General Motors to per- form difficult osteopathic operation on little toe of David “Nicky” Walker, star of the Harlem Globetrotters. Jordan Ewell, father of twenty-two chil- dren, watches TV while wife works. Moynamiah Choudry weds Zsa Zsa Ga- bor after successful application of Love Plan — “Fahrenheit 471.” William “Sinhue” Thompson begins Cos- mic Dynasty as the first Pharaoh of New Egypt, with Johnson Akang, Otis Ham- mond and Harold Collier as Imperial Ad- visory Sultans. New regime also includes John Ferguson as Chief Esne Overseer. Sigmund Rhee retires; Hyon Yoo takes over as government head. The band that has captivated the entire nation in the last six months is led by Rich- ard White on the Tenor Sax. The Shropshires—Alfred and Allen have become victims of polyandry. Clinton Smith has retired as president of Yale University and is living on his meagre income from oil wells which he inherited. White’s Beer is better beer. Co-owners, Harold and Donald had better “Ease UP” if they expect to make a profit. Walker and Stills have just contributed 5 dollars apiece to Lincoln University to be used toward the construction of a new Science Building. Robert “Bob” Davis has just been as- signed to the President’s advisory commit- tee on recreational biology. Robert “Darby” Andrews has just bought the $25,000,000 Hearst Publica- tions. He is the foremost editor and pub- lisher in America today. Dr. Farrell never thought he’d make the grade when An- drews made that nickel in Journalism. Edmond Preston, always a middle of the year man, has just made a new calendar for the United States making June the first month of the year. He has traditionally liked summer, therefore there are no winter or fall months on his calendar. The house of representatives has passed the measure and the senate has had little debate over the question. The president has intimated that he would sign the measure, for it would provide more months in which he will have “Golf-weather.”

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Class Will We, the Class of Nineteen Hundred Fifty-six, being of sound mind and disposing memory (?) do make, publish, and declare this to be our last will and testament. We do hereby bequeath: George Nemethy’s scientific ability to Dave Waters. Dave Walker’s basketball ability to Ronald “Nick” Haley. Bill “Sinhue” Thompson’s way with women to Joe Scott. Isaiah Smith’s profound knowledge of the Universe to Charles Lundy. Jesse “Bud” Taylor’s Kappa spirit to Byron Reed. Irving “Gutty” Harris’ witty ways to anyone who can fill his shoes. Allen Shropshire’s industriousness to Thomas Mills. Jordan Ewell’s speed to Charles Mikell. Dave Bridgeford’s “Big Business” to Wilbert Tatum. Phillip Gerard’s intellect to William Womack. Karuiki Njiiri’s personality to Edmund Bivins. John “Pop” Durham’s moccasins to Stanley “Back” Evans. Lonnie Fuller’s chemistry insights to George “G. K.” Henry. Robert Davis’ verbal ability to Herman Wilson. Albert Johnson’s versatility to Jereleigh “Jerry” Archer. Clinton Smith’s equanimity to Charles Collins. Don Taylor’s cuts in economics to Connie Hall. Paul Waters’ verbosity to Norman Reeves.

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