Lincoln Junior High School - Lincoln Life Yearbook (Minneapolis, MN)

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Ya didnlt land in the pooryhouse, ,Cause youlve accumulated wealth. And as if to prove its prophecy, When you've grown old and gray Anl are happy beyond measure, You'll hear the same voice say, With laughter and With happiness, Some day youlll hear it shout, llYa see youlre well and happy, Cause ya did watch out! EVA HINITZ. 25. AN ATTACK ON THE CURRICULUM. Lady Speller called Dr. Science to come and save Dame Grammar, who had collapsed on account of a direct object heart attack. uLady, itls not serious now, but itlll soon develop into a nominative case, Which is very much more serious than the accusativeft the doctor warned. Dame Grammar was stowed away in bed although she indirectly objected. uShe has two square hours to live in yet, calculated Sir Math, and that gives her X hours to die in, making her total life to be 2 hours+x+her previous lifefl Here the frivolous Miss Mikels interrupted With, llO. Henry, come and fmish this story! aLOUIs OSTRIN, 9B. C. L. P. teacher: HWhat is the Hague tribunal? . Max: llThe Hague tribunal ar- C. L. P. teacher: HDonlt say The Hague tribunal aref Max; use is. Max: uThe Hague tribunal isbitrates national disagreements. Boy: HGive me some clothes line. Storekeeper: HHow long do you want t it? Boy: ULong enough to reach from the cellar Window to the clothes line post. Gen. Science teacher: llWho can tell me how long a person can live Without brains. Fresh Pupil: uLet some one remember this question When you die. Height of Ambition Lazy Mike: uI have a new position with the railway company. Weary Rhodes: uWhat is it? Lazy Mike: llYou know the fellow that goes alongside the train, and taps the axles to see if everythingls all right? Well, I help him listen. Customer: uHave you any dog meat? Butcher: ,uI have no dog meat, but I have some meat for a dog. Earle 8., looking at signboard: Look. they spelled to gether apart. Heard in a Library lesson. Miss Crosby: HIf you were a grocer. how would you arrange your canned goods? Pupil: HAlphabetically. Ruth Z. in history. 66

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ITiLL GETCHA Boys and girls ladies and gents, I m talking today on just common sense I m going to give you jist loads of advice, And if you don t heed me then you 11 pay the price. Now, When ya pass the candy store, iN ya jist can't turn away, Way deep down inside of ya A voice begins ta say, Awful stern ani grouchy, Ya jist cin heart it shout, uThe Toothaches gonna getcha if ya donit watch outf iN When you,re in the study hall, With lessons by the score, Donit waste a single minute, Or youill regret it evermore. ,Cause When that voice starts out again, Contemptibly it does shout. The yellow Slipill getcha if ya dont watch out? iN When youire in the lunch room, iN ya donit know What to buy, Ya donit want nothini nourishin, Jist puddini, cake in pie, An, jist as ya get ready To buy some temptin' sauce, That mean old voice starts out again, Oh! so stern and cross! Mournfully it scolds ya, in ya jist cin hear it shout. H111 health is gonna getcha if ya donit watch out! ,N When ya come to school bank day, Ani donit deposit a cent, But would ruther see ytr money, Being wastefully spent, Yi change y'r mind quite readily, When in the still of night, The voice begins repeating Its words so stale and trite, Scornfully it mocks ya, an' Wrathfully does shout, uThe Poor-House soonill getcha if ya don't watch out! So then you save yir money, Ani y,r happier in the end, ,Cause the voice thatis called yir conscience, Has proved a faithful friend, Yai didnit get theztoothache. Nor did ya fail in health, 65

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THE HOMER-ad 0 Homer, dear Homer, from Hades return And take back the Iliad poor 9A,s must learn. Sure, you, when you wrote, of our brains, did not think. And now, from your poem, they,ve gone on the blink. Full hard have we pondered long hours each day O,er heroes engaging in furious fray. The godalike Hector you tell us was great tThough Nurmi ne,er equalled that herds gaitly. The fate of lost Iluim of course we should weep, But so hard you have worked us were missing our sleep. And Why, 0 dear Homer, on us should you bring A worse fate by far than your Greek Muse did sing? The Apple of Gold, for which goddesses fought On suffering Freshmen great trouble hath brought: We read that great Priam mourned brave Hector once, But we mourn him often, though dumb as a dunce. We think that your heroes and you are the bunk To leave us a poem in which we must flunk; 0 Homer, blind Homer, how great were our joya Had you with your heroes but perished at Troy! Room 225. VICTORY I was glancing der the paper, When attracted was my eye, To a dangIrous looking umonster, That encouraged me to try. I went to get my weapons, Keen to scribble out the foe, ' Though the first word was a hard one,- Soon I dealt a fatal blow. The second word was easy And being coaxed I tried, But when they came up teasy, I could have quit and cried. My foe at last I finished And placed on him a muzzle, Now the monster that I conquered Was a dang,rous Cross VJord Puzzle. aCARL SUDMEIR, 913-2. 6 7