Lincoln High School - Muse Yearbook (Cambridge City, IN)

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.fu THE MUSE JOKES I didn't like to confess to my wife that I couldn't sabe the argot, so I pointed to one of the lines on the bill-of-fare. There, waiterf' I said, bring me that? Sorry, sir, the tray juggler responded, but you can't have that. I can't? I demanded. Why not? The band is playing it. Clem Fackler says that thc best place to hold the VVorld's Fair is around the waist. It was on a little side street opposite Loring Park that I ran across an awkward youth carrying a bird cage in which sat a contented Tom cat. VVhat are you doing with the cat in a cage, son ? I asked. Taking mother's canary for an airing, he replied. And where's the bird? Inside the cat. Before my street ear came along, the youth returned, leading a bulldog. VVhere to now, sonny? Taking mother's cat home. Where's the cat? Inside the dogf, Do you know, Charles,', she said, I think you were just made for mef' Well, dear, Charles answered, I'm sure you were made for me. And then they made for each other. Hullo, Rastus, how's yo, hawgs? Dey's all right. How's yo' folks? Cud Moore says that it is so dry in parts of Arizona that bull frogs haven't learned how to swim and the eats ean't spit. Mr. Bozoarth wanted to know how the sound of the whistles came down from New Castle, whereupon Herman Knauff informed him that it came down to Dunreith and then over. Wife tfrom adjoining roomj- What are you doing with my false teeth? He- Only cutting off the end of my cigar, dear. I thought a thought, but the thought I thought, Was not the thought that I thought I thought, And so I think, if again I think, 1,11 write it down with pen and ink. Ella- When someone kisses me I feel as though I had been struck a blowf' Fella- So you turn the other cheek. Ella- No,-I return blow for blow. Fella- Gosh, 1et's fight! Forty-Four

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THE.MUSE JOKES fTwo o'clock a. Ill., He- Well, I must he off. Sl1e Cyawningj- That's what I thought when I first inet you. Miss Carpenter- Does any one l1ere know what bibliography means? Merlin Tague- Yes, I do. Miss Carpenter- Well, wl1at does it lllC3ll, Merlin ? Merlin Tague- Study of the Bible. Miss Carpe11ter- Tomorrow, class, we will read Leaky Overshoes -By Iva Cold ? VVe don't believe that Horace Golay believes in that old saying, Make hay while the Sun Shines. Teacher- Now what ICIISC do I express when I say, 'I am beautiful?' Student- Remote past. Mr. Bozoarth ftalking about lllllSlCEll vibrations in Physics Classi- Now Durwood, what's a heat? Durwood- What kind do you mean, a sugar beet? That's a vegetable. Hello, old top, new car? No, old car, new top. About the best we have heard lately is that Mr. Bozoarth is so kind hearted that he always plants l1is potatoes in a sack so that they won't get dirt in their eyes. He says that he always plants them as far away from the onions as possible, so that tl1ey won't water at the eyes. Mr. F1'eeland- We'll now turn to page twenty-three and sing 'The Halt in The Desert'-By Mustapha Smoke. Here's where I cut in, said the surgeon, as he applied the knife to his patient. Everett Stratton says that the fence on Wilbilr Ertell's farm is so crooked that every time a pig crawls through it, he always comes out on the same side. We'll now sing That Oil Gang of Mine -By Sinclair. While in New York in January I had dinner one evening at a hotel where the lIlCIlll is written out by a chef who doesn't understand a word of English. It was in Frog or YVop or so111e other shoulder-shrugging language. Forty-Three

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THE MUSE THE TELEPHONE RINGS Hello. Hello, is B00 there ? Boo who ? Don't ery, little girl, I guess I have the wrong number.', GOING, GOING, GONE An ancient car chugged painfully up to the gate at the races. The gate-keeper, demanding the usual fee for automobiles, called: A dollar for the car! The owner looked up with a pathetic smile of relief and said: Sold! SAVVDUST The house surgeon at a private asylum met one of his male patients in an irritable lnood. VVhat's the matter with you this morning, my 1112111 ? he asked. I want to get married, doctor,', was the reply. Get married? repeated the doctor, how old are you?,' Fifty-seven, replied tl1e lunatic. Then I suppose you would like a wife of about fifty? NVell, sir, if it's all the same to you, I'd rather have two at twenty- fivef' FINIS A goat ate all our other jokes, And then began to rung I cannot stopf' he softly said, I am so full of fun? 11:5 ga ':giiQs:l'rl1wgw, 'c'-ai' 'J' :iw Hy- TQ QL? M I 4 J Forty-Five