Lincoln High School - Lincolnian Yearbook (Kansas City, MO)

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Seniors THE LINCOLNIAN Page 7 Krazy Kuestions. F. Collins — “If you wanted to handcuff a gorilla how would you tell his hands from his feet ?” E. Johnson — “Why is the ocean so close to the shore.” L. Williams — “Where does the wind go when it don’t blow?” G. Green — “What is the difference between a Ford and a tomato can?” In Chemistry. Prof. C. — “What is calcium hydroxide in ordinary language, Flody?” F. C.— “Ice.” Prof. C. — “Set down, my little monkey boy.” Prof. C. — “Name some of the bases, Captain Curry.” Curry — “First base, second base and . Prof. C. — “Set down, ole hoy, you’ve got baseball on your brain.” Just Out. “My Twenty-first ‘F’ ’ by L. G. Wright, the well known double Sophomore. Noises Heard by Senior Class B. Chapel: J. R. E. L. — “And — er-er-aw what not.” First Period : G. S. E. — “Please suspend the talking.” Second Period : D. N. C. — “Wake up Unthank, ole ugly boy.” Third and Fourth Period. C. R. W. — “Get to your bench, sonny.” Fifth: N. E. V.— “Was tun Sie?” “Wissen Sie Nichts.” Sixth Period: M. F. T. — “Won’t you Seniors learn some manners.” “I like Mr. Pepper.” “Why?” Because he is so cayenne (kind).” Yesterday passing thru Sterling Hall, Ruth Redd a Doris Novel in (Saxie) English. They say Rogena Beard’s father was a bar- ber. If the wind blows, will Leo Trimble. Want Ad Column. Lost, Strayed or Stolen — -One set of brains, almost new. Had owner’s name stamped on them. Finder please return to Garfield Green. Reward. For Sale — One husband, good as new, hom- ing variety. Price cheap. Terms reasonable. Mrs. Wanta B. Single. For Rent — A large quantity of good looks. Owner has a large supply. Must sell. Miss R. Cowden. The Poor Elder Berry. We had a new pastor at our church. His name was Berry, therefore he was an Elder Berry. When Elder Berry began to squeeze the money out of us then we began to squeeze the juice out of Elder Berry. In the summer when the weather was warm, Elder Berry got peevish and turned a dark red. In the follow- ing spring Elder Berry was as green as a Freshman. Then we got tired ui Elder Berry. We preached his funeral, ministered the prop- er ingredients and made a pie out of the poor Elder Berry. — Bunker Bean, T6. If Foster, lost ’er, would Richard Hunter, If Curry singled, would Burns bunt ’er. If Ruth Redd, would Louis Wright. If Wils on was peeved, would he fight. From Clinton Clayborn Jackson — “Because I’m fat and my middle name is Clay-born, don’t think that I’m a mud-horse. R. Bruce was heard singing these few lines lately : “I want my diploma, so I can gradu- ate. Do I get it now, or must I hesitate.” Prof. C. — “Did you make that noise, John- son ?” E. J. — “No sir, that was him. I saw me when he did it. I hear that John Price and Celestine Wil- liams are going to elope next month. Impos- sible, foolish ones. Don’t you know the mush- room is in the cellar and the cellar is locked, so you canteloupe. From Ed. Unthank, better known as the Sleeping Beauty. Lazy Bones. — “I would rath- er chop suey than wood.” LESTER HENDERSON ASSISTANT EDITOR Cute child Sleep and study STERLING GREEN BUSINESS MANAGER His name’s the clue Work

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Page 6 THE LINCOLNIAN Seniors EDGAR UNTHANK EDITOR Can’t talk about ourselves Gettin’ ’em put IT IS TO LAUGH SEE THE POINT? 1916 Lincolnian Staff Their Charaderiftics and Chief Delight SAXIE ENGLISH ASSISTANT EDITOR HONOR STUDENT Our Song Bird To meet John Quoth the raven — “Eva Moore.’’ When pitching Leroy Burns the batters up. I knew a fellow wanst that tore the Page out of Walter. If Mr. Ellison squared the fraction, would Henry Cubit. Said Theodore — “Nox on it, Nix on it.” Sophs rush in where Seniors fear to tread. It is rumored that one of our teachers will Todd-le over to the Cook as soon as school closes. — Anon. Our well known composer, Floyd Collins, has written a piece called the Lincoln Blues. We hope the Blues are not as blue as the deleted by the censor. There are lots of glasses. Here are a few. Drinking glass, eye-glass, window glass and Ishmael Glass. The last glass is better off than other glasses because it is better off when it is broke. The Lincoln High Rainbow. Ruth Redd, Alberta White, Helen Brown, Sterling Green and — . THE Flattering Beaux. — Indianapolis Star. Girls don’t listen to flattering beaux, for while as friends they always peaux, you will find in reality they are feaux. They flatter your eyes, mouth and neaux, and sing your praise from head to teaux. They take you to balls, partties and sheaux and we adept at con- cealing their weaux — although as fickle as the wind that bleaux. — Bunker Bean, T6. Same Old Place. In the Cafe of the Venerable Mr. Dawley: Fred Works there. Hugh Co-oks there, Croth waits there, T. B. is the Steward and Lulu Shel-be the cashier and . To a Knutt. Garfield Green, can soon be seen, most any time of day, Cutting capers, out of papers, coming in his way. If this girl would only think, what he’s in school to do He w.ould not fool around in school, but learn a thing or two. Johnson’s Jingles or the Spice of Life, con- cocted by his Knuttship Bunker Bean, alias Eudell Johnson.

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Page 8 THE LINCOLNIAN Seniors J. EDWARD PRYOR A joyous soul Stalling 1916 Members Their Charaderi ics and Chief Delight BEATRICE DONNELLY Very pleasing — to one ‘Powdering FOND RECOLLECTIONS OF 16. The musical talent of our young virtuso, Maceo Williams, concert master of our orchestra, and of Roland Bruce. The business acumen of Lemuel Williams and Sterling Green. The dramatic ability shown by Crawford Darden and Edgar Unthank. The artistic dexterity of Robert Adams. Eudell Johnson’s ability to quote historic dates in both ancient and modern history. The studiousness of Alberta White and De- Norval Unthank. The seriousness of purpose of James Chand- ler and Nicholas Smith. The athletic prowess of Ruben Curry (cap- tain) in baseball and football. The splendid contralto voice of Saxie Eng- lish and the matchless tenor voice of Floyd Collins. The quite unassuming manner of Lottie Cooper. The eccentric ways of Marie Moore. Doris Novel’s piano playing ability. THEY SAY THAT— M. T. W. spent his Easter on the Cliff Drive throwing rocks. F. Collins had to stay home in bed after being robbed of his apparel. S. P. E. wept prodigiously a few weeks ago. Why? N. J. and others of his ilk, met disaster in the lunch room. Their order came to 8 cents and they only had 5 cents. We are going to start a shoe repairing shop for the recovering of lost soles (souls). Billy Sunday will be chief shoe-maker. Prof. Work — “What is a quartet composed of?” Freshman — “Three men an a tenor.” DONTS. Don’t wait until next year To finish up work in arrear. Don’t put things off until tomorrow, When your heart may be filled with sorrow. Don’t play during recitations, And then wonder why you get F. Don’t fall short of your aspirations, And then sadly wonder how you got left. Don’t try to belittle your classmate; Don’t attempt to criticize; But turn your own wheel of fate And let the other man jeopardize. Don’t giggle at everything you see, Nor try to act as silly as you can be; Don’t sit up and grin all over your face, While others are seriously running the race. But buckle down to your work, And stop trying to shirk. Then you’ll find it much nicer And I’m sure you’ll be much wiser. Thus,, I pray, from these few lines The Sophs and Juniors will at all times Derive from them the good results To which some of the Seniors have sadly compulsed. Advice of ED J. UNTHANK. If you can’t be sharp, Bb. Mrs. Todd — “Who was Lord Byron, Earl?” E. Fowler — “The fellow that made grape juice famous.” “Has anyone seen Robert Adam’s apple?” “Why is Blossom so Sly?” “Beacuse she is a little Fox.” Mrs. Todd, who wrote Lamb’s “Tales From Shakespeare?” Sleepy Henderson — Armour. “Who said Ethel was a Coleman?” L. G. Wright is going to write a book en- titled, “When I Leave Lincoln.” We are afraid there will be no one left to read it.”