Lincoln High School - Lincolnian Yearbook (Kansas City, MO)

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THE LING O LNIAN •m G. N. G. to C. M. — “Why is a fish heavier when dead than when alive ?” C. M. — “Why, all the wind is out of it.” A Remark of G. N. G. “A man asked me, one day, if I did not want to go to heaven. I kindly told him, ‘not now.’ ” In Chemistry some of Mr. D. N. C. Poetry. “Well, Florence, if you talk you’ll have to walk — to office. o C. W. (a Senior) had pawned a suit, and redeemed it later on his way to his home ; his . mother, while in his trunk, came upon the coat with the tag on it. “C,” she inquired, “what is this tag c|qing on your coat?” “Oh,” he answered, “I was at a dance mother, and checked my coat.” Soon she came upon the trousers also tagged, and with a puzzled look she in- quired, “Lawdy, C., what kind of a dance was that?” o Arthur Williamson: “Look here, waiter,. I ordered turtle soup, there isn’t even a morsel of turtle flavor in this soup.”. . Waiter: “Of course not, what do you expect? Shakespea e said there was nothing in a name. If you ordered cottage pudding, would you expect a cottage in it, or a Manhattan cocktail, would you look for a Flatiron or a Singer building in it?” Williamson : “I never thought of that.” o— IN ASTRONOMY Prof. Crosthwait: Clay, why are the days in summer longer than those in winter? Clay: Why, Fes, you know heat ex- pands while cold contracts. Prof. Crosthwait: Sit down old boy, I knevv you didn ' t know when I called on you.” o Miss Fordham : “Leander Williams, I punished you to show my love for you.” Leander: “If I was only a little bit bigger I would return your love.” When Whibby’s ' father came home for supper there was a vacant chair at the table. Father: “Well where is Lonnie?” Mother: “Alonzo is up stairs in bed, J heard him swearing on the streets.” “Swearing? My son? I’ll teach him to swear” said his father, as he started up stairs. ■ While going up he stumbled and hit his shin on the step. When all was over the wife called to him: “That will do, you have said enough to give him one lesson.” IN PHYSICS. Prof. Pittman: “What are mirrors made for, Beulah Colcord?” Beulah: “Mirrors are made so we can see ourselves as others see us.” XJ I took Mfss L. Me. (a Senior) to church and the minister said: “I feel that I have found my mission, brothers — that of saving young men.” ' (After everything was quiet). : Miss L. Me: “Oh, please. save me one. -o IN ASTRONOMY. Prof. Crosthwait: “What, is the most inspiring month in the year, Florence ?” Florence (putting on airs) : Why, Professor, I think March: because it yells, ‘Get a Move on !’ ” o IN GENERAL HISTORY CLASS. Mliss M. E., reading about the French Revolution: “As Madam Ro- land went to the scaffold she dropped her glass eye and broke it — ” Miss Jones: “I don’t understand, where did you see that statement?” Miss M. E. : “Why, my book says her eye felt on the statue and 1 thought she had a glass eye.” o The man who boasts of his ancestors is like a potato, the best part of him lies under the ground. o : ■ , Express your opinions, or if you don’t care to express them, mail them or let them come by freight.

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24 THE LINCOLNIAN ton, 1). C, taking a course in pharmacy. Miss Inez Page of the class ' 03 is now the clerk at Lincoln High School and iya valuable assistant to the principal. x Miss Lorraine Richardson of the class v ' 07 is now a successful teacher at the Ganrison School, this city. ’ ' Mr. Grant Moore of the class ’10 made second year at Hampton Institute vat Hampton, Virginia. Mr. Thos. Perry of class ’10 is now living in Wichita, Kansas. Miss Sofa P»oaz and her sister, Flora, will graduate this spring ; the former front Fisk University and the latter from Tuskegee. Mr. Edward Thompson of the class ’08 has charge of the assembly hall at Lincoln High School. Mr. Edward Maker, ’09, is still at the University of Kansas taking a college course. Mr. Frank Watkins has taken unto himself a bride. He was with the class of ’09. Mir. David Crosthwait is at ' Purdue University. He was with the class of ’09. . Mr. Frank Vincent. Misses Lula Shelby and Grace . Numan, all of the class ’00. arc at Manhattan Kans. Mr. Claude N. Stirman of the class of ’10 took unto himself a bride. By his marriage the class of 1011 is minus one pupil. M ' is.ses Neosho Venerable and Estel- lene Greer of the class of ’09 are still at I . U. Miss Carrie Nunley of the class of ' 02 is ill at her home, 1622 College Ave. Miss Fannie Taylor of the class of ’05 is very ill at her home in Huntsville, Mo. As we go to press we have to chronicle the sad death of Miss Alberta Bailey of the class ’08, at her home 1005 Agnes. Mr. Henry Collins of the class of ' 02 will complete his course in theology this year at Wilberforce University and re- ceive the degree of Bachelor of Divinity. Mr. Thos. MtcCampl el! of the class of ’08 who formerly completed a course in pharmacy at K. U. is now a full- fledged M. D. — Washburne College. . Mrs. Irene Leaves Everett of class ’05 is now in a beautiful home of her own in Kansas Citv. Kans. HUMOROUS NEWS A conversation between 2 Attack ' s boys. Boy No. 1. If you don’t like that I ' ll light you. Take olT your coat. I am not afraid of you.” Boy No. 2. O, 1 don’t want to fight you. because 1 know 1 kin whip you. 1 am from the Phillip school and I cleans up at fighting. I am a bad duck ; I suck eggs, and rotten ones at that. So you belter put your coat on, coze if I starts at you I’ll clean up Vine St. with you.” A SHORT NOTICE. Mis Ladd. 1 am goin to tek a week off beginin tonight.” Are you going to quit, am 1 not pay- ing you enough ?” ( )h. yessum, dat aint it. You re- member I got off to go to a funeral bout four weeks back?” Yes,” said Mrs. Ladd. Well, I gwine marry de corpse bus- band. SOME PHYSICS. Mr. P.— B. IT, tell us about wave length. ’’ B- R. — I don’t know that, hut can tell you ablaut ‘yellow light. ' Mr. P. — Well, tell that then. B. R. — “The yellow light shines bright thro’ the night. Mr. P.— to B. Y.— B. Y„ you seem to be verv fond of the Ikivs.” B. Y.— I am.” Mr. P.— Well I think I’ll have some- body to draw you one.” B. Y. — (), 1 would rather have a real one.” Some Psychology. G. N. G. — What race of people have great imaginary power?” Cordell W.— “Poets-.” (j. N. G. — In what two races are smell and taste more useful?” A. W.— Animals.” G. N. G. — What do we mean when we say, ‘We have ears and hear not; eyes and sec not’?” C. W. — Well, I think it means that you are color blind.” G. N. G.— Sit down, C. W. You are just guessing.”

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26 THE LINCOLNIAN IN PSYCHOLOGY. Prof. Grisham : “Owens, name the five special senses. Owens: The senses of sound, smell, taste, sight and touch; the last being highly developed in some people.” o Prof. Grisham: W ' hat animals have the keenest sense of smell? Any one may answer.” Eliza Williams (who was half asleep, awakes in time to hear only a part of the question.) Answer very quickly : The Negro race.” LOCALS. Miss Jones: “How old are you, Evalcne? (Evalene hesitates). Miss Jones: Don ' t hesitate, the longer you wait the older you’ll be. o Mr. Crosthwaite, to a Freshman: What does your father do?” Freshman: Whatever mamma tells him.” According to Brooks the first thing to do is jK»p the question, th e second to question the pop. o A Junior sent us a poem entitled “Give Me Back my Own. As we always like to accommodate, we have sent it back to him. IN BOTANY. Teacher: “Louise, give me th« name of some wild flower.” Louise: Indian meal.” -o SOCIETY NOTES IN 1950. Robert Bailey. Prof. Grisham has gone to Washing ton, D. C., to take up office of Presi- dent of the United States. He was urg- ed to accept this position several year ago, but felt that his services were needed by old Lincoln and refused, but during the recent visit of ‘‘Teddy” was shown that his services rightfully belong to his country. Miss Birdie Taylor met with a pe- culiar accident last week while singing with her hat on. At a certain high note, the music was forced through her veil, thereby straining her voice. Mr. Basil Jordon intends to remain in K. C. Capture the remaining fair damsels of Senior class. ■Jamie Xidj.fyj: is now a missionary in Harlem. . Roy Black is writing love stories for the “White Cat. The Juniors haven’t the big head. Mamie Buckner is now proprietress of a boarding house in Excelsior. Gilbert Ross is a “wild man” for Barnum Bailey. Ollic Morris has just married for the sixth time. Mr. and Mrs. Claude Stirman have just secured a divorce. Mrs. Stirman was given the custody, of their seven children. Bailey is a prosperous coal peddler. Brooks is doing well in a fisherman business. Mr. Irvin Clay, our dear novelist, has a new production entitled Prof. Crosthwaite’s Purse.” We don ' t think there is anything in it. “SPRING. 1 . O dearest of the seasons dear! Your presence we do crave: You raise all nature fan. and near I p from her earthly grave. 2 . ‘ V u breathe a life both pure and sweet Into each plant and tree; You make the ground a verdant sheet While winter’s dull sights flee. 3. on strike a chord for all the birds, Ami make them chirp and sing. You whisper to us all kind words That we may know ' tis spring. 4. Yon send to us-the silver show ' rs, And golden sunshine bright, That helps us to enjoy the hours From morning until night. 5. O. may your happy spirit e’er Attend us on our way! And may your sunlight, shining clear, Make bright our darkest day! 6 . And so may we on life’s broad plain. By imitating thee. Disperse the clouds that augur rain And set the sunshine free. Mattie Johnson, ’12.