Lincoln High School - Lincolnian Yearbook (Kansas City, MO)

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THE LINCOLNIAN 29 Act I. Dramatis Personae. “Old Lyndon.” Prof. Longfellow (Pres, of Lyndon College Herman Hockaday State Senator Sorghum (Uncle of Jack) Hugh Mulholland Jack Willis (poor boy)..Jas. E. Williams George Turner (rich boy) Edward S. Baker John Lawson (his chum) . . . Ollia Haney “Bub” Stevenson (quarter-back) Frank Afincent Capt. Bird (of Brown).. H. Mulholland Capt. Berry (of Lyndon) David N. Crosthwait “Thirsty” Jackson (right tackle) Frank Watkins “Silent Henry” Johnson (center rush) Linville Smith Coach Barbee (coach of the Lyndon squad) Mathew Proctor “Billy Possum” Taft (frat man) Ollia Hanly “Teddy Bear” Roosevelt (frat man) .. Mathew Proctor Fold Barker (frat man) D. N. Crostruart “Hunry Jim Bryant (frat man) .... Linville Smith Blanche West (the heroine) Mabel Coleman Dollie Gardener Amanda Leonard Grace Meade Netta Farley Thelma Williams Vivienne Lee Winfred Lawerence . .Laura McFadden Mildred Roberts Goldie Walker Amy Harford Lulu Shelby Rose Starks Neosha Venerable Edrrtonia Blanton Estellene Green Madge Longfellow . .Wertie Blackwell Olivia Black Lula Knox Clara Porter M. B. Smith Dorothy Gray Grace Newman Marie Bowler Nannie Richardson Mandy Harris Martha Washington Beecher Stowe Johnson . .Mary White New Discovery: Prof. Crothwait — DRAMATIC PERSONAL. Grace — Doll, I am so glad we reached school early. I don’t know a thing about psychology. Doll — Well, I don’t know a line of German. What were you doing last night ? Grace — Oh ! I sat up last night mak- ing my dress and when I finished sew- ing it was entirely too late for study. Doll — Well, how is your dress made, Grace ? Grace — Oh ! it is made with tucks and frills, with the Empire back, sheath ef- fect, with the directoire sah. Oh ! It is a dream. Doll — I know it must be fearfully and wonderfully made. I sent mine to the dressmaker and she is making it to her own taste and she has such remarkable taste. Grace — I must be studying my psychology. Doll — Gee, I am so hungry I can ' t study. Grace — Hungry ! Didn’t you have your breakfast? Doll — Well, I had nothing but pop- corn and milk. Grace — Popcorn. You mean corn flakes. Doll — Oh, well, that little old break- fast food. It is just the same as pop- corn. I would rather have popcorn. Grace — Oh ! here come Rose and the rest of the girls. Thelma — Hello, girls, what are you doing here so early? Grace and Doll — We didn’t have our lessons, so we came early to study. Thelma — Say, girls, I have something to ask you. Did you hear one of the boys say this morning they were not go- ing to let George play in the game? All Girls — Play in the game! No, no, who said so? Thelma — Why, this morning at breakfast I heard one of the boys say they were not going to let him play. Chorus of Girls — That’s too bad ; so sorry ; how sad. Edmonia — I can almost see old Lyn- den losing now, because George was such a good player. Madge — Oh ! don’t say that. They might have someone in his nlace that plays just as well or even better than George. Mildred — Yes, and wonder what Blanche will say. Thelma — Say, girls, is George in love with Blanche? I notice he pays her marked attention.

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28 THE LINCOLNIAN Then down the rain in torrents did come, Chasing away the rays of the sun. Thus the typical April day Helps us enjoy the month of May. For April’s suns and April’s showers Help to make the bright May flowers. Night. Slowly o’er the weary city Steals the soothinf calm of night, While afar o’er western borders Fades the rosy blush of light. Gently as a loving mother Mendenhall. Folds her sleeping babe away, So does evening ' s soothing shadows, Scatter far the cares of day. Now- the sorrows that molest us Hide within the midnight air. And we kneel before the Giver In thankful, earnest prayer. O’er the sea of star ry beauty Slowly sails the pale faced green, Smiling down in golden splendor On the holy and the mean. May Crosby, ' vj. Wit and Humor. Wertie Blackwell, ' 09. The English teacher asked her class in grammar to give the feminine of the word ram. Miss I. F. responded: “Rameses.” The class was one day talking about giving a play. Mr. H. M. replied : “Let’s give a ‘turpentine dance.’ ” (Ser- pentine dance.) The chemistry teacher asked the class one day which way should two glasses or tubes be placed for a downward dis- placement. Mr. H. H. said : “Pro- fessor, the top glas should be converted (inverted) over the bottom glass.” Mr. F. W. had taken Miss M. W. in a restaurant for dinner. The waiter asked Miss M. W. what she wanted. Miss M. W. began by ordering chicken, etc., hut Mr. F. W., being financially embarrassed, whispered to the waiter : Liver will do.” Teacher — J. K., what is a zebra? J. K. — It’s a horse with a bathing suit on. Miss W. B. was one day telling in the chemistry class that a chip diamond was f:n invitation (imitation) of a real dia- mond. The grammar teacher asked for the masculine of the word corceress. Mr. J. W. replied, “Saucer.” (Sorcerer.) Oh, hush; Matthew did graduate. N. V. and G. B. had a falling out ; I will tell you what it was all about, N. V. had money, G. B. had none, So that’s the way the noise begun. Mr. A. T. is the lover of two fair damsels. Miss L. McF. and Miss L. K. We don’t know which holds the best hand. Miss N. R. and Mr. C. S. play quits every now and then. I wonder what sort of a game that is. Oh, yes, we all know that Mr. H. H. has big feet. We heard him -say one day in a shoe store, “I can wear 7s, but these are 11s I have one.” Miss R. H. was seen heading a letter to Mr. O. H. It began thus: “Dear Ollia — I love you as hard as a mule can kick a stump.” Teacher — F. W., why was Sir Francis Bacon’s uncle so prejudiced against Ba- con? F. W. — Because his uncle was a ham. New Discovery : Prof. Crosthwait — Cordell, if we look into the heavens and see the great dipper and then look at the handle of the dipper, what constella- tion do we see? Cordell — The great bucket. “Old Lyndon.” A Drama in 3 Acts and 5 Scenes. By James W illiams and Edward Baker, Jr. Produced by the Senior Class of Lincoln High School.

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80 THE LINCOLNIAN Winifred — Likes her, well I should say. Did you see the emerald ring he gave her? Edmonia — I wonder where lie got it. Madge — I bet he rented it. Grace — Perhaps he found it. Marie and Dorothy — I saw the ring, but had no idea George gave it to her. Olivia — Well, how do you know he gave it to her? Winifred — Lie did! She told me so. (Blanche enters.) Thelma and a Few Girls — Hello, B’anche. Blanche — Good morning, girls. Thelma — What a pretty ring. When did you get it. Blanche — Oh ! I have had it about a month now. Thelma — Guilty creature ! Blanche — Guilty I remain. Amy — How I do hate psychology. All— Me, too. Grace — I, too. Doll-Girls, I tell you what let’s do! Chorus — Tell us something. Doll — Let’s study ! Madge — Oh! Ding dong bells, it don’t worry me. Mildred — Oh ! you don’t have to study because you are the professor’s daugh- ter, nor you, Winnie — Grace — Because professor likes you. Clara — Say. girls, did you hear pro- fessor say Winnie was fair? All — Fair! Fair! Clara — Yes ; I don’t think it’s right for a professor to say one pupil is fair. Winifred — Oh! he didn ' t mean fan- in complexion. I asked him how I stood and he said, “Fair.” Grace — Fair with him, perhaps. All — We understand. Amy — Say, girls, I tell you what let’s do. Grace — Spit it out. All — Tell us something. Amy — Let’s make up some questions to ask old professor to consume time. All — Good, sure, all right. Grace — Bully idea. Clare — You shouldn’t say that. Pro- fessor told us not to use the word bullv. Grace — What professor says doesn’t worry me. Edmonia — Why don’t you have your lessons like me? All — Miss Studious ! (In come boys.) — Hello, girls; good morning. Mildred — Say, boys, we don’t know our lessons and guess you all don ' t know yours, so we are going to ask old pro- fessor some questions to consume time. Boys — God! Bully idea! Sure! All right ! Mildred — What shall they be? Boys — Any old thing. A Few — Wonder where Jack is? I guess he is washing dishes. Olivia — I can’t see how Jack knows his lessons when he has to work for his board. George — Here comes old Jack. Did you break any dishes, old boy? Fred — You see, he is a professional dishwasher. How could he break any dishes ? A Few — Here comes old professor now-. (Students are assembled. Enter pro- fessor.) Professor — Surely this can’t be the senior class. What has come over you ? Youlre acting like a body of students this morning. And I’m proud of it, Well, we ' ll review today. From the first to fifth chapter we have learned that psychology is concerned solely with what is deemed the most important or- gan of the human system And we ' ll be- gin our recitation with its definition. De- fine the brain, Miss Meade? Miss Meade (not knowing) — Well, professor, I had such a severe headache last night and could not study at all. Professor — Yes; sit down. Psychol- ogy gives you those complains. Miss Cardner, answer that, please. Miss Gardner — The brain is a con- glomeration of nerve cells and fibers. Professor — Good. Name the divisions, Miss Porter. Miss Porter — The brain is divided into seven divisions (thinking), and — Professor (interrupting) — Sit down. You don’t know anything about this. I guess you had the headache, too. Miss Lawrence, answer that, please. Miss Lawrence — The brain is divided into three divisions — cerebrum, cerebel- lum and medula oblongata.