Lincoln High School - Cardinal Yearbook (Portland, OR)

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THE LEDGER ITwent,v-three HELP YOURSELF A -'TRUE CONFESSIONU By SAM FULLMAN Have you ever associated with one of these giddy girls with a mania for collecting souvenirs? Light- fingered lassies with hands swifter than a waiter's eye, they never leave a place without taking some- thing away to remember it by. My best girl once contracted this horrible habit and whenever I was with her I was used as a re- cipient for her gatherings. I'd find myself going away from a restaurant with a menu, a spoon, a demi-tasse cup and saucer, and even a lemon squeezer. Nothing seemed to phase her, from a salt shaker to a flower vase. There was no line of distinction. If she looked at anything on the table twice, I knew it was as good as gone and we would be there until she could get it. One evening I was sitting beside her in a restaur- ant and when the waiter's back was turned she frantically shoved a cold spoon with ice cream on it down my neck. Of course the expected hap-- penedg the cream melted and ran down my spinal column. When the waiter turned around again, the expression on my face must have looked like a signal of distress, for he immediately offered me a bottle of cholera mixture. The combination of Jamaica ginger, red pepper, and tobacco sauce burned my throat, but I tried to pass it off. With the ice cream running down my back and the chills running up, I did not succeed. One afternoon she arranged for a supper and the opera after. That evening I put on a swell-cut outfit, one of these with a false shirt front. We went into a highbrow restaurant and when we finished she suddenly decided she platter. I knew by her eyes it was coming, but I was hoping the waiter would take it away before she found a place to put it. He was too slow as I realized when I felt the platter go between me and the shirt front. I tried to look natural, but the platter was hot and perspiration burst forth upon my brow. The man sitting next to me pulled a thermometer off the wall and wanted were almost wanted the to take my temperature, but I told him to take my life instead. When the proprietor arrived on the scene, he asked me if I couldn't take something for my malady, but I told him I would be ashamed to take anything more. The doctor came and asked me if I had a cold on my chest. I told him I would have as soon as it cooled off. He then wanted to sound my lungs and before I could stop him he hit the platter with his knuckles and the cracking of it could be heard all over the room. I cut a pretty figure then. The proprietor pushed forward and asked if he should call an ambulance, but the doctor told him 'to call a policeman in- stead. It cost my girl twenty-five dollars for a two- bit platter that she never got. - One evening as we were walking down the street, she wanted to go into a Chinese noodle restaurant, so I had to take her. We went up and I had a nice time trying to wash down a lot of Chow Mien with a cup of tea the size of a canary's drinking cup. I was enjoying myself about as much as a kitten with paper tied on his front feet, when I saw that dangerous look that meant there was something on the table that she had taken a fancy to. She thrust a pair of chopsticks and a tea cup into my pocket just as the waiter came up. I paid the bill and rushed her for the door as fast as I could. When we reached the street I turned around and saw the man pursuing us. I immediately came to the conclusion that he had seen the chopsticks sticking out of my pocket. I waved violently at a passing taxi, but before we could gain shelter of its four protecting sides the waiter overtook us. I had visions of saying Good morning, Judge, and you can never imagine my relief when he held out a dainty piece of linen which I recognized as a handkerchief. On the way home I saw her eyeing the meter and knew she wanted that, too, and believe me, if I could have reached it for her, I would have done it!

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Twenty-twozl T HE LEDGER The Ballad of My Heating Stove HAZEL MILLER At times your eyes like devils do dance To the tune of your crackling fire, And again they dart right to the heart As a woman's when roused to ire. Yet tonight as I sit and watch them flit In a manner most lively and merry, I think of the girl who could dance and That quick senorita, Le Perry. whirl, The very red flames make her flashing skirt And the lighter her yellow shawl, While the many lights at various heights Form a glittering dancing hall. The light dry wood as it sputters and spits Resembles her castanet, That she claps at each step to mark the time Of the tune-the little coquettel But the fire burns low, and she makes her bo As she trips from the glowing carpetg And I sigh as I wake from my reverie, Because I cannot encore it. Day Dreams FAYE Hows Snow white the flecks of foam Upon the blue-green seag Yellow gold the beaten sand As buttercups on the lea. A splotch of red upon the beach, A sail upon the sea, 'Tis my ship of dreams, I ween, Sailing home to me. VV

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