Lincoln High School - Cardinal Yearbook (Portland, OR)

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Eighteenj THE LEDGER WHAT,S IN A NAME? SYLVAN IIALPERIN Ma Jones had lost her mind. There was no doubt of it. If the baby had been born at any other time, it would have been named John, or William, or any of the good old wornout names. But instead it was attached to the terrible caption, Archibald Marmaduke jones. Pa Jones was disgusted with his better half. Imagine me--me-with a baby named Archibald Marmadukeln he groaned, as he tried to seek an explanation for Ma Jones' absence of brains. Oh, shut up! said Ma jones. What are you croaking about, anyway? I'1l bring him up the way I want, and you can leave him alone! Yes, you'll bring him up. I've got an idea how youlll bring him up. Nice new Fauntleroy suit, cute little golden curls and pretty little white and pink shoes and stockings. Ugh! Get out of here, you brute. How dare you talk that way about our iddums cutems pinky-pink toesiesl She turned to the baby, and started cod- dling it. 'fGood-nightll' More groans and Pa Jones went out on the porch and made the air blue for about five minutes. Archie, at home, was treated like a prince. But outside it was different. Archie had turned out the way Pa Jones had predicted-a sissy--and he was treated by his schoolmates accordingly. But, of course, just as Ma Jones had taught him, he held his nose in the air and did not conde- s:end to look upon any who dared approach him. The effect of Ma Jones' teaching was beginning to tell on the boy. He was becoming snobbish. And Pa Jones, what could he do? He just sat and groaned behind his newspaper during the even- ings and listened to Ma Jones indulge in the gentle art of inventing new pet names for Archie. He had resolved not to interfere, but he was slowly be- coming disgusted with his wife's method. When are you going to teach the little dear how to make up the beds and darn my socks? he asked, sarcastically. All Ma Jones had to say was Shut up! and Pa Jones shut up. It was about this time that Pa Jones' mail began to get heavier. He received a long brown folder twice a week, and promptly retired with it to the attic, and for the next half hour Ma Jones would hear him jumping around and punching something. She didn't know just what it was, and Pa Jones wouldn't open his mouth on the subject. It isn't good for Archibald's constitution to have all that noise going on, she remarked at the table the first evening of the mysterious proceed- ing. Bahl replied Pa Jones and went on eating. 'One day when Archie was about eleven years old-the stage in his life Where he was wearing ai shiny, stiff collar and a big bow tie. Bill Graham happened to tease him a little more than usual. Living up to his mother's teaching, he promptly marched in and told the teacher. Coming out of school that afternoon, he met Bill at the corner and, with an ugly look on his face, Bill muttered, 'lHere's where I change your complexion, you little sissyfl , He grabbed Archie by the arm and pulled him into an alley, where he proceeded to muss him up considerably. Fifteen minutes later Archie slowly eased him- self up the front steps of his home, and dragged into the kitchen. Ma Jones looked up, and promptly dropped her jam fmzl the pan which she was holding. What happened to mother's little darling boy ? she cried, as she started toward him. Tell mother what happened. Archie told her as well as she could, considering the puffed lips he had lately acquired, while his mother washed him and applied a beefsteak to his black eye. Pa Jones came home for dinner to find his son sitting on lVIa Jones' lap, eating a piece of pie. Pa Jones was a sorry-looking spectacle himself-his face scratched up, his nose still bleeding and his right eye swollen. Ma Jones shrieked, and cried, You, too! What's the matter?

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THE LEDGER IfSeventeen LOOKS ARE OFTEN DECEIVING VIRGINIA WINCIIELL Say, Slim, whereya goin'? asked Freckles of his chum. To the old mine. Wanna go 'long? f'Sure, justa minute. Soon the pair were on their way to the deserted coal mine-a place they had no right to enter. But they were just boys and in search of adventure, at that. On their arrival they looked carefully around to see that they weren't watched, then, with a hur- ried scramble, they were inside. O-o-fl groaned Freckles. Who've I run into? Say, guy, lay off! lt's me-Fred! Oh, I beg your pardon -this respectfully from Freckles. He recognized the voice of the preacher's son, the toughest kid in the village. Whatcha doin' in here? This question simul- taneously from both. Just lookin' 'round. Come along, answered Fred. The three scamps wandered around for about an hour, and didn't realize that they were lost until they tried to find the entrance. At first, they all put up a bold front-Freckles was the first to break down, then Slim. Fred was hard-boiled for about an hour, then suddenly startled his com- panions by dropping on his knees and praying- something like this: Oh, God, please let me get home! I-I--I'll never be bad any more. What'll my mama do? O-o-o-o-o-o, but it's dark-pie for supper! Ah-h-h! I wanna go home! What'd I ever-r come here fur? Oh, please show us the way out! l'll not play hookey any more. My dad'll pray for me, too. God!-oh! oh! oh! I wanna git outa here! Help! Help Help Help! He was finally hys- terical-scared stiff4so to speak. During the course of this prayer, Freckles had wandered ahead about fifty feet. A triumphant yell startled the other two into running. Their pal had discovered the exit from the old mine. As soon as they were safely out and used to the strong light, Fred turned on his friends with clenched fists and his noted 'ifighting mug on. Say, you two kids keep mum, he growled. 'Alf you ever dare tell anybody I got 'soft' in that mine, l'll knock the daylights outa you! You know I can. Now, shut up--remember! With this speech, he thrust his hands into his pockets and went whistling down the road, fol- lowed meekly by the dumfounded Freckles and Slim. To the Devastators KENNETH L. COLLINS Why devastate the forests, The rivers, and the sky, Of their many little citizens? Why try to make them die? They were put here for a purpose, just the same as you and I. Harm them not, ye devastators, We'll be lonely if they die.

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THE LEDGER fNineteeri Pa Jones didnt' answer her. It seemed to be too much for him to look at his son. He promptly started cussing, loosing every swearword he had stored up, since Ma Jones started to train Archie. Why I let you do this for is more than I can see! he shouted at his wife, who cowered back against the wall. He turned to his son. Come with me, he said, and stalked out of the room. They went up to the attic, where Pa Jones pumped Archie for all the details of the fight. f'Well, he said, I guess it sure is time for me to take a hand in this. Now, listen to me. You just forget everything your mother ever taught you. See? I'm going to teach you from now on. See my face? Well, ,I was in a fight today, too. But I didn't stand up and let the other guy soak me. You saw all those envelopes that came to the house, and you heard all that racket upstairs. Well, that was me, learning how to box, from a correspondence course. Now, you're going to learn how to box, too. I cleaned up that fellow today, and there's no reason in the world why you can't do the same thing to Bill Graham. We'll begin right here. And he took Archie over to the punch- ing bag in the corner. When Ma Jones learned about Pa Jones' inten- tion, she exclaimed: You're not going to teach my baby how to fight! She shuddered at the thought of her darling little pet stooping so low. You can stop right there. I'm teaching the boy now. I'll make a man of him. You've had your turnf' replied Pa Jones, and walked out of the house. Three weeks later Archie was subjected to more teasing by Billy Graham. He immediately started to roll up his sleeves, at which the boys began laughing. just imagine the sissy trying to fight! Billy Graham smiled confidently, While Archie gritted his teeth and tried to remember the things he was supposed to do, according to the boxing in- structions. s Bill, attempting to inject a little comedy into the affair, started to wind up. Before he was half through, a sledgehammer had landed on his nose. Another promptly settled on his ear, and then Archie started punching with startling rapidity, each blow landing effectively. The bell interrupted the fight and the pupils slowly walked away from the scene of activity, remarking among themselves about Archie's prowess. That night Archie indulged in his first cussword. As he threw his blue silk nightgown out of the Win- dow, he stubbed his toe on the dresser. With much vigor he said, Damnl while his father out- side the door smiled and said softly: Your mother named you Archibald Marmaduke, but I guess you'll live it downf' Told by the River FAYE HOWE Back and forth the tall reeds sway, Whispering softly through the day Tales, the river on its way, Reminiscent in the sun's bright ray, Has sung so merrily. Tales of bars of snowy sands, Of precious pebbles on strange strands, Of slimmest palms in langorous lands, Of elk in overwhelming bands, As it flows onward toward the sea. o