Lemasters High School - Parnellian Yearbook (Lemasters, PA)

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THE .AVERAGE MAN The average man: Idarries at the ago of twenty-eight. Quarrels at least three times e month with his wife. Sponds at least eight hours a day working - and sometimes phones his wife he is working evenings. Is at least five foot ten inches tall. Spsnds B, 784 heursfsix years? discussing the faults of women. Weighs 180 pounds - until he starts overeating and drinking and acquires u bay window. . Spends 51.00 per week on shoves and e haircut, Spends 25.00 per week on golf, bowling, peel, and several more on gambling. Attends 5,027 baseball games. Tells his vrife to go home to mother at least eight times - unless she cooks like his mother did. Spends five years reading newspapers - often over the breakfast table. Never learns to put ashes in ash trays- Smokes e.t least 5000 cigarettes. Is positive the first born sen looks like him and oenft be equaled- Buys 693 neckties end ZOO suits - not to mention the shirts. Buys at least one new cdr every five years - und would every year but fer his more economical Wife. Is late for work at least three mornings a month. Spends at least 31.00 per month in after-shaving lotions and hair tonic . Drinks daily four cups of Keffee-Hag flasks harmful caffeinln Brings his boss of some friends heme to dinner twice e. month - unexpectedly. Remembers to give his wife flowers or eandy not more then ence o. year. Never learns to dry dishes without breaking at least two plates In spite of it all thinks his wife married a model husband and is darn lucky she get him. V.F. end H.H. SPRING Spring has arrived at last we knew, New there is grass where ones there was snow. Through day the birds sing with voices shrill, The flowers are blooming with very much will. With all this I finally say, That Spring is pretty well on its way- Betty Crawford

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AVERAGE WOEILN One dev early this spring some senior girls found the following description oi' an average woman in the Public Opinion and decided it needed an answer. Their answer is on the page to the right. r ' 'The average women: husb Harries at the age cf twenty-four. Quarrels at least twice a month with her husband. Has a baby weighing seven and a half pounds. Spends four years washing dishes. Is five feet four inches tall. ' Spends 8,784 hoursffive yearel gossiping. Weighs l28 pounde.- until she becomes oaroless about her figure, Spends 5312 in the beauty parlor and S 378 on drugstore cosmetics. Attends 3,027 movie matinees, many of them double features. Threatens at least eight times to go heme to mother - but never does. Spcnds three years and eight months talking on the telephone. Never learns to play e. golf game that satisfies her husband, Listens to eighteen radio serials each week. Is positive her child is better than that brat next door. Buys 569 hats and 582 dresses. Denates best seven years of her life to attempting to make her end over - without success. Ruins three fenders on the our and tears off one garage door. Occasionally rrlshes she'd married someone else. Lives five years longer than her husband. Durns 4,827 pairs of socks. Never learns to drive on nail without hitting her thumb And makes e. darn ,good . wife in spite of it ell. .1.4...--.-.4P-.-4.-Q-Q ue-4 BLUEBIRDS I heard in the woods A wonderful aire, A song without words As sweet as e. prayer 'Twas softly enrolled By o. little bluebird fair. If bluebirds could speak I know what they'd say. Theyld tell us no month 'Was more fair than Hey, 'Cause they're happy As am little flower is gay. Bet Ly Crcuvford

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MEMORIES Four years ago we met To study and more knowledge gain, That day none will soon forget, Though now 'we must pert again. At first they called ua green, But yet we didn't mind. We thought In the and 'twill be seen That we're not left behind . As higher up we climb More rugged grows the way, Yet we struggle on for the ime Of our commencement day. When back we can gaze Our strivings to recall Our teachers' patience we praise And hope thoy've forgiven all. Loving memories of our friendships here We cherish as we go into life, Year after year 'bhey'l1 to us be deer When all else about us seems strife. Now to L.H.S. we bid adieu. As we go on, our ovm way to make We'1l ever to thy name be true And ever with us thy tru wisdom take Leone. Whitmore