Leduc High School - Review Yearbook (Leduc, Alberta Canada)

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64 You Must Have Been a Beautiful Baby, But Look at You Now” For a number of years we were both deleriously happy, but then we met. She was an odd-looking girl. She had a big heart and hips to match. She would have been beautiful except for a slight blemish between her ears. But what eyes she had! They came to the bridge of her nose—and when they got there, they crossed. She had a huge lower lip, but I didn’t care. Her upper lip covered it. She once went to a plastic surgeon to have her wrinkles tightened up. I guess he overdid it. Every time she raised her eyebrows, it pulled up her stockings. But I didn’t care; I just worshipped the ground her father struck oil on. I used to call her my “Melancholy Baby”, because she had a head like a melon and a face like a collie. It was at the tender age of fifteen that she got her first beau. Then when she was six¬ teen, her other leg bowed.. She was so unpopular, her appendix was taken out more times than she was. But she’d been asked, lots of time, to get married, mostly by her father and mother. But she was really crazy about me. She always used to tell me she could have marired anyone she pleased. The only trouble was she didn’t please anyone. Sometimes she’d sit down and cry and ask me what was wrong with her. I told her I thought she looked like a million—and I meant every day of it. Why she was so old she was even at the Boston Tea Party. She was one of the bags they threw overboard. Someone said she looked just like Lana Turner’s sister—Stomach Turner. Then on a sudden inspiration I decided to glamourize her. The first thing I did was to replace the perfume she was wearing—“Three Days on a Troop Train.” I was having her face lifted when a terrible accident happened; the derrick broke. But I when got through beautifying her, she looked like a real glamour girl. I even put a red ribbon in her hair to cover up the bald spot. I soon dis¬ covered I was falling in love with my creation. The next time I saw her, I could resist no longer. I asked her to dance and she was on my feet in no time. Then I leaned over to kiss her and her lips clung tenaciously to mine. I told her to spit out that chewing gum, but she wouldn’t listen to me. We had a great time together after that. She said she liked to ride with the wind blowing her hair back. Whenever I rode with her it blew right back into the rumble seat. And what fun I used to have burying her in the sand at the beach. In fact I think I’ll be back there again soon. It’s about time to dig her up. —As submitted by Loverne Plitt. Page Forty-five

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