Lawrence High School - Lawrencian Yearbook (Cedarhurst, NY)

Text from Pages 1 - 56 of the 1932 volume:

The LAWRENC Published During the School Year by the Students of the Lawrence High School. Lawrence, New York. 25 Cents a Copy Vol. 14 December, 1932 No. 1 Lawrencian Board Editor-in-Chief EDITH HOLLISTER Assistant Editor-in-Chief JOEL LASKEY Alumni Editor MARJORIE PORTUGAL Exchange Editor BERNARD HELFAT COLUMNIST No. 13 Joke Editor ROBERT SAUNDERSON Art Editors GERTRUDE GEORGE JOE ANTOVILLE Athletic Editors ELEANOR DRAKE GEORGE KIRK Business Manager AARON STEIGER Assistants: HELEN FRIEDBERG HENRY I. LEVINE BEATRICE BRAHMS LESLIE SCHWARTZ ARTHUR SOBEL AUSTIN SCHWEITZER Staff Typists ROSE CESTARI ELEANOR GRAINGER IRIS BOURELIUS MILDRED SHEARER EILEEN BURNS Faculty Advisors MR. LEE F. CORRELL MISS ELEANOR E. HOLLISTER MR. C. C. MACDONALD 2 THE LAWRENCIAN CONTENTS Editorials....-....—................... — 3 A Case of Vengeance ...� .......-......-...... 4 A Case of Facts.......... -........ -...... 7 Some Other Time Dear...-.......... -...... 8 w Alumni News ..—.....—............. —..... 12 Class Notes ............................... 18 Book Review —................... —....... 22 Advice to the Love Lorn ............. - 23 Exchange Notes ...-......................... 27 Poetry ?------------------------------- 29 Gossip ..... ................. —..—.. 32 Advertisements 38 THE LAWRENCIAN 3 PLAGIARISM. Stealing the possession of someone else has always been considered wrong. No excuse is found for a person committing a theft. He is punished and rightly so. This does not apply only to stealing a material object, for plagiarism is simply a more polite word for theft. A high school student copies a newspaper editorial for his English theme—and we think him rather clever if he can “get away with it.” There is something vitally missing in the character of a person who can take or condone such an attitude. In the last few years several instances of plagiarism in Lawrence have ‘come to our attention. Some have even gone so far as to seek to have plagiarized material published in the Lawrencian and, because it is sheer impossibility for any editor, or board of editors, or any English teacher, no matter how learned, to have read everything, they have in one or two instances succeeded. The favorite field of the plagiarist seems to be the less well-known books of famous authors and the verses of the newer poets. We sincerely hope that nothing of this nature has found its way into this issue of our high school publication. The Editor. FIVES—AS A MATTER OF DISCUSSION. by JOEL LASKEY The number of fives we get, seems, to the teachers, to be increasing. But, is it? It has been said that humans never change; only the standards do. Of course we understand that a five is a bad mark, and that teachers may be only giving us the monthly lecture, and that as we get to be upper classmen the fives begin to accumulate, but ARE the fives increasing? It is not the call-down that we get at home that matters. The things that really matter are confessions of weakness on the part of the student and a loss of self respect. A new student who had come from another school said to us, “I got two fives, a four and a three on my report card. Gosh, I never thought I was good enough in Spanish or French to get a five.” He was taking the wrong attitude on these subjects. Why couldn't he say, “That’s a terrible mark. I’m sure I was worth more than a five;” but that’s how things go. However, don’t get discouraged with the appearance of some fives on your card; it may look like Christmas decorations but let’s all have blue decorations for Christmas this year, to surprise our teachers, parents and Mr. MacDonald; on our cards, at least. Make way for better (not bigger) marks from here on ! ! 4 ,THE LAWRENCIAN A CASE OF VENGEANCE by TOBY A. MILLER Sven Peterson cast a reflective glance across the heaving sea. A grim smile etched itself around the corners of his hard, leathery mouth. What stories that sea could tell. Slowly the smile expanded into a deep chested chuckle. What stories he could tell! Ha! But the tossing waves couldn't speak, and he surely would never reveal what was hidden behind those watery blue eyes. Deliberately he pulled the tiller of his power boat far over to his left, and made for the cove, about six miles distant. As the long dory described a wide arc, his steady gaze fastened on the stern of a fast disappearing schooner. There went the last remnant of his guilt. Somewhere in the vast hold of the Water Sprite was a case. Not unlike any other case, but so extraneous as to the cargo it contained, that had the captain been able to see through its sturdy sides, he would have indignantly, and rightly refused to take it on board. However, not being particularly gifted in that direction, he had checked it on board as an ordinary packing box bearing the address . . .Mr. O. Joriig. . . Pitea. . . Sweden, and had listed it as being sent from a Mr. J. M. Joriig. . .North Sebago. . . Maine. . . . U. S. A. Probably a rich relative sending some furniture back to the old country. In this surmise. Captain Thorm was totally wrong. The case was large enough to hold several pieces of furniture, and heavy enough to pass as such. But that was what it had been intended to represent. The actual contents of the crate would have stricken the god-fearing captain dumb with horror. Surrounded by a mass of tightly packed seaweed, and six or seven weighty rocks, were two tarpaulin bags which held the bodies of two women, about nineteen and forty respectively. Their faces had been mangled beyond recognition, and they bore no identifying articles of apparel or jewelery. After tying his boat to the end of the wharf, he slowly ascended the hill, on top of which was perched the Seaman’s Rest. As he walked along the rocky path, a face seemed to keep bobbing up and down in front of him. Keeping time with his long strides. The face of a woman, with such an expression of surprised terror on it, that he would not soon forget. Of course he knew that face. It was Elsa’s.But Elsa. . . .she. . Impossible! Hadn’t he beaten out her brains with a marlin spike, packed her in the big case, and sent it to an unknown address in Northern Sweden? That other face! Swinging like a ghastly pendlum before his unbelieving eyes That was Greta’s. . . .She had been disposed of too. He must be going mad. Those faces peering at him from the edge of the woods. He’d remember them, always, they were seared into his brain. The look of incredible amazement Elsa had given him, and the mockeery in Greta’s eyes when he had come upon them, arm upraised, bent upon their destruction. Breaking into a run, he made for the inn. There he’d find merriment, good rum to warm his innards, and many friends. There he’d be able to dispel those fantastic shapes that were haunting him. In a certain corner of the low ceilinged room, he’d find his two particular cronies. Ole and Eric Lindstrom. Pushing open the weather beaten door, he strode across the bare floor to his accustomed place, and sank wearily into an empty chair. THE LAWRENCIAN 5 “Evenin' Sven, ' offered Eric from behind the smoke screen his briar was making. “What yer doin’ up here on a Tuesday night? You aint due till tomorrow, hey Ole?” “Yes, yer days off is Wednesdays and Saturdays, what'd yer do, sneak out?” “Naw”, retorted Sven, “I didn’t sneak out. There’s nobody home to keep me back any more. Elsa and Greta went off and left me.” The placing of a bomb in the center of the table could not have created a more disasterous effect, than the utterance of those few words. The charred pipe fell from Eric’s powerless jaw, and clattered to the floor. Ole half rose from his chair upsetting his glass of brandy. “They what?” the latter spluttered. “You aint hard of healin’, they walked out on me. Said they was going back to Sweden, and that I needn’t bother about them any more.” Whereupon Sven Peterson pulled a very long face indeed. Inwardly, his soul was singing. He knew that once his story was accepted by the Lind-strom boys, no one would dream of doubting it; and by their puzzled expressions, he knew that shortly they would give it full credence. “What I san’t make out,” said Ole, “is why they went? “You’ve always been a good provider, you do most of the work around the house, and you sure ain’t no hell-raiser. Seems as if yer the one who should ’uve run away. And long ago at that.” In fact it was small wonder that Sven hadn’t run off. Always used to coming and going freely, he found that marriage, especially his marriage, had kept him pretty close to the doorstep. within call of Elsa’s domineering voice; which rang out with great frequency, “Sven, cut some wood. Sven, fetch a bucket of water. Sven, clean out the cellar.” It was always Sven this, Sven that, from early morning till late at night. Instead of finding in married life the love and companionship he had so long desired, he found only increased labor, less freedom, and a terrific strain on his modest income. As for his daughter, Greta, she did nothing but read cheap magazines, admire herself in front of the mirror, and make sport of her father; calling him stupid, narrow minded, and old fashioned. It was common gossip that Sven did not wear the pants in the family, and that Elsa ruled him with an iron hand. For twenty years he had taken this abuse without ever once raising his voice in protest. Then one day Elsa had forbidden him to smoke his pipe in the house. That was the last straw. Right then and there he had made up his mind to rid himself, once and for all. of these two witch women. The week of November 13. 1929. will long be remembered on the New England coast. Thousands of dollars worth of shipping was lost. Many staunch ships, caught in the teeth of the raging storm, had gone down with all hands aboard. His power dory making little or no headway in the high seas. Sven had all he could do to keep its nose pointed towards the cove. He had remained home for three ‘days seeing nothing but those distorted faces. Not being able to stand it another minute, he had put out in his kicker for the cove, determined to stay at the inn till better weather set in. Now he was cursing himself roundly for ever venturing out on this mad journey. As fast as he could bail it out, another wave would fill the bottom of the boat with water. 6 ;THE LAWREN CIAN Crash! The next thing he knew he was in the icy cold water, vainly endeavoring to keep his head above the tumultous sea. His boat was no longer visible. Spying a large object, floating twenty or thirty yards away, he struck out for it, fighting every inch of the way. Finally he reached it, and found that he was clinging to a large crate. A sort of packing case. The type that furniture is shipped in...........The thought struck him like a thunderbolt. Good God! Could this be the case that .......Frantically he sought the side on which the address should be painted. With a superhuman heave, he managed to turn the case on its side. There, barely discernable, was the printed legion—Mr. O. Joriig, . . . .Pitea. . . .Sweden. With a loud cry, unheard above the roar of the sea, he flung himself across the crate. His hand found a gaping hole, caused no doubt, by his boat’s crashing into it. Hooking his arm through it he essayed to hold on till aid should arrive. With every succeeding wave, the case sank lower and lower. Furiously he tried to remove his arm before it was too late. He couldn’t budge it! It was caught on the edge of the jagged hole. This was the end. He knew it. After all his planning, he was being dragged down by the very two people he had risked everything to rid himself of. The laugh that escaped from his blue lips was mirthless. He might have known that they’d come back some day to wreak full vengeance on him. What a fool he had been. The case gave a final lurch and sank beneath the waves. For several moments Peterson struggled madly. He had heard that drowning persons were wont to see important episodes of their lives pass before their very eyes. At the time, he had been inclined to sneer at such tales. Now he was having the grim proof unwillingly thurst on him. Sweden. . .home. . . the village priest giving him Communion. . . .his first boyhood sweetheart . . . America. . .Elsa. . .his unhappy marriage. . .and. . .and. . . .those faces. Elsa’s look of terrified surprise, and Greta’s mocking laugh. Well, he’d shown them. A strange picture flashed on the retna of his mind. A large three masted schooner going down to its watery grave. A courageous figure paced the flooded bridge. It took the last plunge. All that remained to show where a ship had once been, were numerous large packing cases, bobbing up and down in the swell. One in particular seemed to have a definite object in view. It was coming toward him. Look out! Too late. Far off in the distance it seemed that Elsa was calling in her grating voice. “Sven, cut some wood. Sven, fetch a bucket of water.............Yes, he’d cut the wood and fetch the water, but he was so tired. He’d lie down on this grassy slope and take a short nap, then tend to Elsa’s wants. He was so tired. . .So. . .ti. . .r. . .ed. . . When the gale had subsided. Father Osborne gathered the villagers, and went down to the shore. There he pronounced requiem mass for those lost in the storm. The name of Sven Peterson led the list. As a final tribute, flowers were tossed into the sea. The friendly, treacherous sea. The sea that took justice into its own hands. The sea that never told any tales. THE LAWRENCIAN 7 A CASE OF FACTS by S. A. PEYSER It all happened in a German coal mining town in Pennsylvania during a strike. Alvin Blennerman, ring leader, had been murdered. Hermann Schmidt, owner of the mine, had been at the scene of the murder when it happened. Because Schmidt had been ruined by the strike, it was understood he had a plausible motive for the murder. The clerk droned the record of the case: “Alvin Blennerman murdered, March 2, 1922. Hermann Schmidt held. Sole witness, Leo Trachman.” The district attorney announced loudly, “Hermann Schmidt take the stand.' Schmidt was sworn in, and immediately the questioning began. “What is your name?” began the district attorney. “Hermann Schmidt.” “Are you married?” “Yes,” he said in a broken voice. He seemed to reflect. His happy family without a breadwinner. What would happen when he was taken away to prison or—to death. “Where were you at the time of the murder?” “I vass in der court house seeking an inchunction to stop der strike.” “I suppose you realize that the scene of murder was the court.” “Yes.” “You knew Blennerman?” “Certainly, he vass my foreman.” “You liked him?” “After der beginning of der strike I hated him.” “Did you—kill him?” There was a hush. The poor fellow! His world had crashed. He looked miserable. Still, there was only one witness against him, and he still had a little hope. The defense attorney almost protested against the nature of the question. As his assistant I wondered why he did not protest. I nudged him. He did not answer. He seemed to have a flick up his sleeve. At last Schmidt answered the question. He replied, with an effort, “No.” “You may step down. Leo Trachman take the stand.” This was the sole witness. He was a short, stout man with a solemn air of knowing all the facts, which was increased by the old German institution known as the “soup-strainer,” a huge walrus mustache. The clerk swore him in and he took the stand. The spectators in the little court began to whistle and cat-call because they knew and disliked the miner. He became livid. The judge rapped for order, and the court became quiet. The attorney for the defense began cross-examination. “What is your name?” 8 •THE LAWRENCIAN “Leo Trachman. “Are you married?0 “No.” “Were you a striker? “Yes, I vass.” “Did you know the murdered man? “Yes. “Was he a friend of yours? “Yes, he vass. “Where were you when the murder was committed? “A block avay. Talking to a friend. “Why is it the friend did not see the crime? “His back was turned. “What did you see. A thrill of expectation ran through the courtroom. “I saw Schmidt come oudt of der courthouse. He saw Blennerman, and shtabbed him three times. Der knife was aboudt 8 inches long, like one dot is used to skin a rabbit. Der handle vass decorated with carving. I saw Schmidt with a knife like dot many times. The Attorney for Defense suddenly pointed to the big clock on the opposite wall of the small courtroom and shouted, “What time is it? Quick! The little fat Dutchman stared vaguely at the other wall and mumbled huskily, haltingly, “Vere—is—der—clock? There was a sepulchral silence. Then a roar of laughter. The judge said sternly, “Case dismissed. We will hold the witness on criminal charges. ---------o-------- Some Other Time Dear by W. E. DONOVAN Marion Mitchell, although but nine years of age, had all the hopes in the world of soon becoming a fully capable housewife. One morning she came running down the stairs to the front door where she came upon her mother readjusting a stubborn lock of hair and powdering her nose. “Mother, she asked. “Where are you going? “Out, answered her mother abrptly. “But Mother, dear, you know you promised me you would teach me how to bake a cake today. “I know Marion, but I simply must attend this social meeting if I’m to retain my reputation. “Oh, but Mother, answered the disappointed child, “When will you teach me how? “Some other time dear, some other time. Marion fitchited, “That’s all I ever hear, she mumbled, but her mother’s unheeding ear brought no answer to her remark. The door shut with a “bang and her mother was gone. Marion, with tears in her eyes, turned and started for the back yard THE LAWRENCIAN 9 where she expected Buddy would be playing. A glance from the elevated porch showed the sand box, the teeter board, where he might stand and balance himself above the pivot, the swing and the slide were all vacant. Immediately she conceived her twin must have gone off to the woods by himself. Not a sound broke the silence of that fine early morning. The sun shown down with mild warm rays on the bare legs and arms already tanned from past exposure, and a slight breeze stirred the large maple leaves of the noble trees that afforded such shade on the sweltering hot days of July, yet to come. Slowly, without observing her footsteps, she descended the steps and made her way toward the swing under the huge maple tree. Aimlessly she grasped the ropes and lifted herself, with sturdy little arms, onto the seat. As she swung back and forth. Buddy emerged from the garage, where he had been at work in his workshop with his Daddy's tools. Unseen by the dreaming eyes of Marion he sneaked up behind her. With his head but a fewr inches from her ear he screamed: “Look out for the falling bricks!” Marion ducked her head, dropped off the swung and stood in a crouched position. Buddy hopped onto the swing and in a nonchalant manner sat staring stupidly at space. “Buddy Mitchell, how dare you try to scare me?” Marion cried when she discovered his ruse. “Try?” he asked. “Yes, try,” she answered. Smack! ! ! a resounding slap in the face nearly knocked him off the swing. “Say, what’s the matter with you?” he asked, not appearing to notice the smack that made one side of his face more colorful than the other. “Oh, the same thing again.” Marion answered, all the hostility having fled from her heart. “Mother promised me I could bake a cake today and now she------” “Yes, I know,” Buddy interrupted, “She said, ‘Some other time dear didn’t she?” he asked. “Yes.” “Oh pshaw, what’s there to baking a cake? Why Daddy promised to fix my electric motor and he said the same thing to me.” “Oh nothing to baking a cake, huh?” Marion queried, “perhaps you’d care to try?” “Try? Why it’s nothing, I know- how, I don’t need to try, why I always see mother put some batter in a pan and light the oven and in a little while she takes it out.” “All right,” Marion answered, “Suppose we go right in, I’ll watch you make a cake and I can imagine what a cake that’ll be.” “Oh—er—a—will, that is—” Buddy stammered, all of his youthful boastfulness gone, “Perhaps the maid wouldn’t like it if we dirty all the pots and pans.” “Oh you don’t have to wrorry, this is her day out.” “Oh,” exclaimed Buddy, his last strawr of hope gone. “What do you mean? Oh, come on, fraidy-cat, you’re the one that’s going to be a great cook? Don’t make me laugh!” Into the kitchen they both marched. Out came the flour tin, the mixing bowl, baking pans and butter and eggs. First, flour enough for 10 THE LAWRENCIAN three cakes was placed in the mixing bowl, a quarter of a pound of butter, also five eggs with the shells, a whole pound of sugar and a quart of milk. It seemed to mix too slowly so after crushing the shells they placed the electric eggbeater in it. In a moment they had a frothy yellow appearing batter. It didn’t appear pretty enough so they added coloring. They found some baking powder. They added that together with two or three yeast cakes. “It doesn’t smell as good as some of the things mother cooks,” exclaimed Buddy. So they hunted up some spices. Cinnamon, pepper, cloves, and all-spice, together with a can of molasses also found in the search, was added to the red colored batter. The mixture now turned to a dark brown color from the molasses. The batter quite thick, was poured into a greased pan. Marion, noticing the eggshells, suggested they strain it through the flour sifter. The batter now, with an odor not likely ever to be found in any kitchen, was placed in the already heated oven. The two children, now that the task of mixing the batter was over, decided to clean up. Buddy appearing to be cut in several places had a job washing the red coloring from his hands and face. Marion, who had not been as sloppy in handling the things, began to wash the dishes they had used. One half hour later, with the kitchen spic and span as ever, they decided to sit down and rest. “Mother ought to be home soon,” Buddy said. “Yes, and wait until she sees the Cake,” Marion answered with a sparkle in her eyes. “Suppose we take a look at it?” suggested Buddy. “You look,” Marion answered, “I’d rather not be disappointed just yet.” “All right,” he ejaculated, “maybe we’ll be surprised instead.” lie opened the door. After peering a moment he looked at Marion with an amazed look on his face. “Holy Smoke!” he cried, “look at it!” Marion hurried to his side. The cake had risen to about eleven inches in heighth. The batter, originally about three inches in the pan had risen extremely high from the presence of so much flour and yeast. “Gosh it must be done,” Buddy exclaimed. “No, it isn’t done until the top has browned,” Marion answered. They shut the oven door. A bowl, confectionery sugar and the red coloring was again brought out. With sugar and coloring in the bowl they slowly added water until a delightfully colored frosting was made. This time they removed the cake. After placing the queer cake on one of their mother’s best serving plates they proceeded to put the frosting on it. Being such a large cake they had to mix more frosting several times so that when they had finished it was of several shades of red. Again the dishes had to be washed and the kitchen straightened up. They had no sooner finished cleaning the place than they heard the key being noisily inserted in the lock. The door opened and their mother and father confronted them. “Hello Buddy,” his father said. ” ’Lo.” “Did you set the table as I asked you Marion, dear?” her mother THE LAWRENCIAN 11 asked. “Oh no, I forgot, Marion answered, “I'll do it right away. Mrs. Mitchel went upstairs and while Mr. Mitchel telephoned the maid and the cook came in. As Buddy and Marion emerged from the dining room they heard their father exclaim, “All right then. Bill, you'll be over in half an hour, fine, no not at all, we’re glad to have you at dinner with us. All right, oh no, not at all, OK. then, so long. Not long afterwards, Mr. and Mrs. Thompson arrived and both Marion and Buddy had a funny feeling in their stomachs. The older folks talked awhile but Marion and Buddy couldn't understand wrhat they were taking about but they had to listen anyway. “Dinner is ready to be served, the maid answered. “Quite right, Mr. Mitchel exclaimed, “Let's eat. Dinner was eaten amidst the never ceasing discussion of the older people. Marion, without word, left the table and disappeared into the kitchen. Presently she returned and resumed her place at the table unnoticed by her parents. “What did you do? Buddy asked in a whisper. “I told the maid to serve our cake, she answered. “Good-night! Buddy exclaimed in a whisper. The dishes wrere removed. The desert was served and the maid retreated to the kitchn, rturning with the huge cake. In great surprise the guests stared. “Why Martha, Mr. Mitchel exclaimed, addressing the maid, “what is this? “It’s a cake, sir, the children made it, they asked me to serve it. They all had a hearty laugh, and Mr. Mitchel attempted to cut the cake. It seemed light and fluffy enough, but it appeared more like bread than cake. At last the six pieces were cut and passed. A savory smell of spices filled the air. Mr. Thompson was the first to take a mouthful. He chewed a moment, then stopped and viewed the others with a terrifying look of agony in his eyes. Suddenly Mrs. Mitchel screamed. “Oh. it's burning my mouth. In a moment every body but the two children had tasted the red hot cake and were quaffing coffee and water, but this only afforded temporary relief. Buddy arose from the table, likewise did Marion. They viewed Mr. and Mrs. Thompson with their mouths full of water trying to ease the burning sensation. Mr. Mitchel swallowed the water he had in his mouth to say: “Buddy, Marion, where are you going? “Oh, er, ah, Buddy stammered. “Upstairs, Marion answered. “Come here to me, Mr. Mitchel answered furiously, “come here. They disappeared out the door. “Come back here, he again cried. Together two heads peeked around the corner of the door. “Come here I said. he cried. “Some other time, daddy. they exclaimed in unison, “Some other time, and they disappeared into their rooms. 12 THE LAWREN CIAN Alumni News ALUMNI CHAT by TOBY A. MILLER Despite the class prophecy, last year’s senior class seems to have met with a fair amount of. success. Dispatches keep pouring in notifying us of the dazzling achievements of 1932 alumni. ;• A communication from Carnegie Tech, informs us that Thelma New-house, former Lawrence Diva is struggling along under the ignominy of being a stagehand in the School of Dramatic Art. Too bad Horatio Alger didn’t write success stories for girls. Had he been so inclined, he doubtless would have named at least one book, “Thelma the Thespian,’’ or “The Trials and Tribulations Of an Actresk Well, you can't keep a good girl down. Comparatively little is known of Jane Haber way out thar in Michigan. A spy, however, reports that she has successfully developed a plan for the painless administration of chemistry lessons. The wheels of progress must go on! With his characteristic disregard for conventionality, George Hanlon of the Cedarhurst Hanlons, has injected himself into the seething mass of embryo engineers at Stevens Tech, and now, by way of diversion, stands at the head of his class. You can’t tell me that there’s nothing radically wrong with that boy! William Newton, affectionately known as “Bill”, heard the call and answered it. He is now taking an intensive course at the New York School of Interior Decorating. Handy man to know, Bill. You never (Van tell When you may want something or someone hung. A chat with Alvin Cedarbaum, revealed the fact that he is studying to be a sawbones. A noble profession indeed! At the time of the conversation, he confided that on the morrow he was going to witness his first autopsy at the City Morgue (pronounced “morg”). Your writer, having Al’s best interests at heart, advised him against eating breakfast. THE LAWRENCIAN 13 Alvin replied that he’d eat breakfast, but he’d forego the pleasure of lunch. Whereupon a third member of the party offered to give Alvin ten dollars if he so much as dared sit down at the dinner table. Needless to say, all bets were cancelled. Edith Lipton, home from Skidmore, says that she’s simply cur-razy about the school. In the same breath she says that the school is simply curr-rrazy about her. I’ll bet she was rushed to death, poor girl. After all, how often does Skidmore get Lawrence girls? What an honor! What an honor! In writing this column, I find it impossible to neglect the opportunity of mentioning the young lady who presides over the destinies of Mr. MacDonald’s office. This tyrannical person repulses all advances at friendship. Unsuspecting freshmen desirous of being helpful are quickly discouraged. Long suffering seniors are at a loss in her presence. They quake in their shoes. Their teeth chatter. They know not what to expect at the hands of this brutal damsel. She never smiles. Her sense of humor is woefully warped. When ot busy with routine duties, she sits behind her desk and plans diabolical acts against the innocent student body. At the monthly teacher’s meetings, she tells awful things about the students in question, influencing the easily led members of the faculty. The school is at her mercy. At the mercy of a merciless woman! And in conclusion, dear reader, I want you to decide who is the biggest liar, Baron von Munchausen or myself. Vas you dere, Charlie? ? ? ---------o--------- IN TOUCH WITH THE GRADS. by MARJORIE PORTUGAL The Lawrence alumni are scattered far and wide----- At the University of Pennsylvania, Eddie Kohn and Fred Kugel are enrolled. Eddie says the coeds are not so hot, but outside of that, college is pretty good. He’s a pledgee now for the Phi Sigma Delta Fraternity. Ray Kent writes from Duke that Bob Demme, an “old-timer” of Lawrence, has been bid for Alpha Kappa Psi. honorary business fraternity. Ray’s address is Box A A 93. Duke Station. Durham. North Caroline- and only blondes are accepted. Bob Murray is keeping up the name of Lawrence by being made President of the Freshman Class at Alfred University—and speaking of Alfred University, picture Helen Brunswick marching around the campus in pajamas while her dormitory was burning down. Jane Haber is doing some study on international problems at Michigan and her “latest” is a Frenchman. Nathaniel Hirsh and Donald Billard. another “old-timer,” are registered in the Department of Chemical Engineering and Department of Civil Engineering, respectively, at Resnnelaer Polytech. And for the benefit of the freshmen—the man with the pencil glued to his ear is Arthur Wolf and that motor-cycle speed ace is Douglas Sellers, both last year’s graduates. —MARJORIE PORTUGAL. 14 THE LA WREN CIAN COMPLACENCY. Our minds have become bleak stretches of wet sand. And every thought is like the cross-clawed line The small sandpiper leaves in his too frantic scurry From what his little mind cannot define. We follow him along the lapping edges Of that great depth, that unplumbed vast of blue. Retreating as each wave comes in, through no new fear Save hatred for the very new. ELEANOR EUNICE HOLLISTER. '25. Institutes of Higher Learning where some of last year’s seniors attend or were admitted: Florence Abraham ............. Emma Arnold .................. Eugene Bartha................. Joy Bernstein ................ Leonore Block _............... Julia Blum berg ...... ....... Helen Brunswick .......... —.. Alvin Cedarbaum .............. Susan Forest ................. Anne Greenefield ............. Jane Haber.................... Shirley Hahn ................. George Hanlon ................ Nathanael Hirsh .............. Rosalie Hite ................. Maurise Joseph ............... Morton Kanner ................ Robert Kleinfelter ........... Edward Kohn .................. Thelma Kruger ....... ....... Fred Kugel ................... Ernest Lehman ................ Ross Levin ................... Edith Lipton ................. Selma Litman ................. Margaret Mackie .............. Jeane Miller.................. Toby Miller .................. Robert Murray ................ Thelma New house ............. Laurence 01 nick .............. Irma Phoryles ................ Gertrude Preiss ................... Harry Ron is ______________— Ruth Scliapira ...-............ Mildred Silberman ............ Edwin Simmons........ ....... ..........-............... Packard ............... Columbia Extension .......................... Roanoke ........................ Wellesley ................. North Carolina ................ North Carolina ......................... Alfred ............... New York University ........................... Adelphi ................... Ethical Culture ........................... Michigan ...............Collegiate Institute ......................Stevens Tech ... Rensselaer .............. Columbia Extension ......... New York University Mass. Institute of Technology ......................... Duke .... University of Pennsylvania ......... St. John's Hospital .. University of Pennsylvania .................. C. C. N. Y. ......... New York University ..................... Skidmore ......... ............. Wisconsin ........................ Stratford ................ Columbia p]xtension ................ Columbia Extension ........................ Alfred .................... Carnegie Tech ......................... Columbia ..........-..-............. Adelphi ................... Columbia ...................... Adelphi ................ Columbia Extension ................. N. C. Agriculture THE LAWRENCIAN 15 BIGGEST SCANDAL “SCOOP” OF THE YEAR! PRISCILLA DEAN RUNS OFF WITH WELL-KNOWN NEIGHBORHOOD BEAU BRUMMEL ! Boston. Mass., May 13, 1631. Priscilla Dean, one of the best liked of the season’s debutantes, has eloped right under the nose of her fiance. Captain M. Standish. with his best friend, Mr. J. Alden. Our special reporters have been hard at work on the job ever since Mrs. Dean has stopped weeping huge crocodile tears. Bride and groom seem to be doing very well, excepting the fact that all the bride can be made to say is “Speak for yourself, John.” This startling statement has not yet been fathomed by our astute reporters, but new developments are expected very soon. We have succeeded, however, in getting from the,groom the statement that the happy (we hope) couple will take up its residence in the new “Duplex” on Main Street after their return from their honey-moon to Bermuda. They will sail on Friday on the S. S. Mayflower. Our reporters, after interviewing Mr. M. Bottsford. the owner of the “Duplex” understand that there has been a little controversy about the rental because Mr. Alden wants a radio AND a Kelvinator, while the apartment furnishes only the radio. However, we hope the outcome of the affair is in the affirmative as Mr. Bottsford is in dire need of funds at present. As yet, the couple has had no quarrels, but one is expected any minute now. Ring-side seats may be obtained at office of the Daily Chronicle on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. This affair will be resumed in our next edition at 6:00 P. M. RUTH FRANKFURTER. 16 THE LAWRENCIAN FOOTBALL AT LAWRENCE. We started our season very successfully this year by defeating the strong Port Richmond Minstrels twenty to six. Captain Harry Buxbaum, our crashing fullback, was the outstanding player of the game. He catapulted over the goal line twice during the game, and threw the pass to Levine which brought us the other touchdown. Great Neck then visited us and after a hard fought battle the game ended in a scoreless tie. Next we met the strong Valley Stream Eleven which we defeated 20 to 6. Coach Kennedy brought down his usual strong team. But Buxbaum went over for his usual two touchdowns and Gabriel went over for his first of the season. The following week we traveled to the Freeport Municipal Stadium. Here we met our first and worst defeat of the season, losing to the Red Riders, 19 to 0. It was a hard fought game from start to finish, but the “snake-hipped” Art Longrin and the hard driving DeMartino proved too much for our boys. We then visited Baldwin. Here we had a toutf-i battle but neither team could score. On Election Day the strong Glen Cove Eleven came to the Inwood Oval. It was in this game that we suffered our second defeat, 7 to 0. Considering the strength of the Glen Cove team (undefeated for two years) Lawrence made a very good showing. With the odds against us, our boys came back and beat the shifty Sewanhaka eleven, 6 to 0. Edgar “Catfish” Levine went over for the touchdown on a pass from Gabriel. THE LAWRENCIAN 17 To close our season we met our old rivals, Lynbrook. We received the surprise of our lives when they heat us six to nothing. Lynbrook’s touchdown coming from a pass into the end zone. Although we had only a fair season. Harry Buxbaum, our Captain and fullback, was placed on the All-Scholastic Eleven. Hammersmith. Levine and Fertig received berths on the second team. —GEORGE KIRK. o Girls’ Hockey this year was quite unsuccessful. Having no varsity squad they played only a few outside second-team games which included Baldwin, and Woodmere Academy. Other games were scheduled but the weather was bad and we had to cancel them. The girls who attended the Baldwin play-day had a grand time. Schools from all over the island were represented. Some of the games were: badminton, quoits, archery, touchdown, darts, and volley ball. Prizes were given to the winning team. 18 THE LAWRENCIAN Class Notes MORS Early in September Study Hall II was crowded with prospective graduates. commonly called “Seniors” in response to various notices and announcements. Joe Antoville was chosen president of the class of ’33 with Willard Gardner as vice-president to help him in his good work. The class once more showed its trust in Aaron Steiger’s honesty by appointing him treasurer for a second term. Marjorie Portugal was given charge of minutes, letters and such under the title of secretary. Miss Tefft was again selected in the difficult work of guiding the Senior class through its last year in Lawrence. Preparations were immediately started to carry out the Senior’s threefold campaign once more. Work on the Annual has already progressed a long way under Marjorie Portugal’s direction. While the Senior Play is still far ahead of us. we are thinking of it already and the whole class is working to raise enough money to hold a Senior dance this coming June. We have already sold the Curtis Publishing Company's magazines to our families and friends for another year and thereby fattened the treasury a little. Cake sales still reap profits and will probably continue to do so. Our crowning achievement thus far. however, has been that famous basket-ball game which wras played one afternoon between the Faculty and the Seniors. But all that is now history and we are looking forward once more toward the problems and pleasures that are before us. —WILLARD GARDNER. THE LAWRENCIAN 19 JUhlORS THE JUNIOR CLUB The Junior Club has made a very successful start this year. Although the first semester is just drawing to a close, the Club has sold a great many L. H. S. pencils and “Fight” buttons, has held an opportunity contest, and has given a “cake sale”. The opinion is varied as to what social event is to be held at the end of the year; one section advocates a dance, another a show, and the third a show and dance, (the third group wants its money’s worth). This issue will probably be decided late in January. This year the Club officers are: Rhoda Kanner ......................-— President Leonard Levy..................... Vice President Vera Mesibov ............. —--------- Secretary Peter Tanous..............-..—....—....— Treasurer Miss Blank...................-.......- — - Adviser —RICHARD DANZIGER. 20 THE LAWRENCIAN The Sophomore Class opened the year by electing as officers of the class: President.................. -..Gorden Rothstein Vice President __________ ....__ Palmer Farrington Secretary _____________________ Carolyn Chaikin Treasurer ....................... Joseph Bernstein Advisor ....................... Mr. L. V. Dodd During the year so far we have given numerous cake sales. We staged an Aeroplane Contest which was a great success, and was won by Richard Rosenberg. At the end of the year we are looking forward to seeing one of the latest shows. Also the following members of the Sophomore Class made the Honor Society: Alfred Goldsmith Marion Holman Allen Hanlon Adele Lewis On the Honor Society Competition: George Shaskan JOHN PEYSER. THE LAWRENCIAN 21 i THE FRESHMAN CLUB Before entering upon the report of the doings of the Freshmen of Lawrence High School I want to say the Freshman Class consists of approximately 450 students, (which is the greatest number in its history). They have all started their work seriously and it promises to turn out to be one of the best classes in years. After the prompt class organization through the able leadership of our Principal, Mr. MacDonald, the Freshman body formed its usual Club. The following students were elected officers: Alfred Kohn ............................. President Harriet Kohn ...........................Vice President Joyce Titelman ............................ Secretary Donald Glinert...............................Treasurer Miss Clause ........................... Class Adviser A Popularity Contest was held and Joe Gabriel and Marjorie Kolmar were voted the most popular boy and girl in the school. It should also be mentioned that the following students are leading their classes with ones in all of their subjects: Billy Stone. Buddy Sher-win and Walter Wallin. It is hoped that there will be many more names added o the honor roll next month. —ARTHUR MERNIT. 22 THE LA WRENCIAN BOOK REVIEW. Speaking: of books, this past year has been productive of a fine crop. Not all are worth reading: and a good number of them are not the type which young people enjoy reading, but that still leaves us a good few. Everyone who takes American History must read at least ten books. Most of us agree that it's quite a job wading through such a quantity of “dry stuff. However, you may read only nine such books and still satisfy Miss Tefft simply by reading James Truslow Adam’s “Epic of America, a really interesting and stirring history. Mr. Adams spins all those wearisome facts into a fine easy-reading tale, that is actually worth reading even if you don’t take History C. “The Fountain by Charles Morgan is one of the most discussed of the current fiction. A rather superficial plot with a unique denouement is filled in with some fine philosophy and sound insight into the heart of man. The piece, however, is not exactly of the type which might be enjoyed by a boy or girl of high school age as much too deep thought is coated with a very scanty plot. If you are really anxious to know what is going on in the country read the “Washington Merry Go Round, and find out the inside information on our government in Washington. Much of the book is to be taken cum grano saltis, but no matter how much salt you take with it most of the facts still stand out in bold relief. It is a book every red-blooded American should read. We shall not burden you with more, but if by some chance you are seeking something to read and none of the foregoing have satisfied your yearnings try either Lion Feuchtwanger’s new book “Josephus, a story of Roman days, or “Inheritance by Phyllis Bentley, a dramatic but rather prolonged story of family tradition. —BERNARD A. HELFAT. THE LA WRENCIAN 23 'Ot Dear Miss Lawrencia: This Gassman affair—shall I Foster it? What do you think? Perplexed. Perplexed: Let’s be Frank. Miss Lawrencia. Dear Miss Lawrencia: Things are not as they should be. To be Frank, I am still going Carol-ling but I seem to fall flat. Misunderstood. Misunderstood: Garsh-er, Can’t you fix it up? Miss Lawrencia. Dear Miss Lawrencia: The Wolf is at my door! I have nothing left but my Art! What to do. What to do: Try throwing Stones at him. Miss Lawrencia. Dear Miss Lawrencia: What a crowd! They use me for a football. There’s Tom, Vic and Harry—Hep, Hep, they’re all Burned up. Widow. Widow: Spend your Eves on the alert. Miss Lawrencia. 24 THE LAWRENCIAN Dear Miss Lawrencia: Suppose Olive a girl. Watts it too ya? Football. Football: Are you Shaw it’s the real thing;? Miss Lawrencia. Dear Miss Lawrencia: I've Doug along without a Las for a long time, but now I’ve found a perfect Jule. Should I Express my sentiments? Motorcyclish. Mortorcyclish: Don’t try to Sell ’er with your old line—she might go home to her motor. Miss Lawrencia. DREAMS. Sometimes when I’m sick in bed I listen to the rain beat overhead And often watch it teaming down And laugh when ladies pass and frown. Then I often dream I’m things, First of all a Turk—with rings Covering all my hands and feet. Because a princess I’m to meet. Next a warrior bold am I, Rescuing ladies tlio I die; Fighting battles every day. Meeting dragons which I slay. And then the funniest dream of all Someone is saying, “Sonny, you’ll fall.’’ And I awake yawning, to see— Mother and Dad looking at me. —JOAN STRAUSS. THE LAWRENCIAN 25 Reflections after much wailing- and “nashing” of teeth. Reflection on getting a five in chemistry. Mr. Dodd Hard Hodd! Reflections on physical exercise. We should like to see Miss Jensen Fensen. Reflection on compensation. What about Miss Benson Doing her own declension? Reflection on one of the many disturbances in the life of a poor, hard-working Senior. Senior themes Bad dremes. Reflection on natural beauty. We should like to see Miss Tefft Of her permanent bereft. 26 THE LAWRENCIAN Reflection on being kicked out of Study Hall. Mrs. Balcom You’re walcom. Reflection on a depression situation. This depression Keeps us guession. Reflections on the oddities of human nature. There are too many Santa Clauses In the storses. Reflection on the countenances of those who read the “Chatter.” The “Chatter”? No matter. Reflection on general concensus of opinion. Regents are consigned to the alley With other things and Rudy Valle. Reflection on why students chew gum. Chewing gum Sum Fun! THE LA WRENCIAN 27 This is the one and only issue of the Lawrencian to be published during: the current school year. For the same reasons which prompted our decision, namely, finances, many other schools have either adopted our idea or have reduced their magazines to newspapers. Therefore, this is not an excuse but merely a statement of the facts, our exchange is not as large as it will be and we lack others’ opinions of the Lawrencian, which may be for the best after all. However, all things considered, we have received quite a good number of fine little papers and a couple of excellent magazines. These may be found in the library by the inquisitive. Now for the one part of the magazine we don’t have to bother writing. A few choice bits: Is Your Girl Like This? “Your teeth are like the stars,” he said. And he pressed her hand so white. And he spoke true, for, like the stars. Her teeth come out at night. —The Kalends. They Say We Have Them Like This Too. Can You Believe It? Hist. Teacher: George, where is South America? George: On page 10. —The Chieftain. Oh, But How True! You can always tell a senior— But you can’t tell him much. (From a poem telling way to distinguish students) —The Alerte. 28 THE LA WRENCIAN “The jig is up ’ said the doctor, as the patient with St. Vitus dance died. —The Maroon Echo. Vanity Street—The hall in front of the girls room. —The Clarion. Our Sentiments Exactly. “It seems to be the accepted belief of the students of Delaware Academy that the Exchanges are merely for the benefit of the staff. Let us hasten to correct this mistaken idea. “The Kalends” lists among its exchanges magazines and papers from all over the United States. Each of these publications contains entertaining as well as worth while material which you would surely enjoy reading.” —The Kalends. And since it is customary to herein inscribe our opinion of those publicationns with which we exchange we set about doing so to the best of our ability. The Kalends, Delaware Academy, Delhi, New York. One of the best magazines we have received. It contains a multitude of well written articles and really interesting stories. The Clarion, Lynbrook High School, Lynbrook, New York. A neat little publication. We suggest a little less space devoted to school news, and a few more columns to come under the Variety classification. The Bulletin. Oceanside High School, Oceanside, New York. A newsy bi-weekly, but supplementary matter is needed. The Alerte, Baldwin High School, Baldwin, New York. A compact complete weekly. The Chieftain, Sewanhaka High School, Floral Park, New York. A well-proportioned school paper. An exchange column or something of the sort would not be amiss, however. The Maroon Echo, Bayshore High School. Bayshore. New York. An excellent paper. However, a short story or the like would help greatly. These magazines and papers will be placed in the library together with that matter which may come in. in the interior, for the inspection of the school body. BERNARD HELFAT. THE LAWRENCIAN 29 L stands for Lawrence, you guessed that of course. A stands for Athletics, which we’re sure you'll endorse. W stands for Week-ends we can’t do without R stands for Regents, you’ve heard about. E stands for Effort that makes the world go N stands for News, the Lawrencian you know. C stands for C. C. MacDonald, educational Caesar E stands for Elinor, we hope this will please her. H. F. TO MY SON IN AUTUMN. Darling, don’t you love those trees? All that red and brown and gold? See the dried-up yellow leaves Are the ones that grew too old. Look son, what a splendid sky— White clouds on a sparkling blue! Here’s a white bird flying by,— Want to be a white bird too? Oh—want to be a golden leaf? So do I—you know they say That each night the fairies come To paint them—then they dance away. Let’s just sit and watch that bird. Duck your head it’s swooping near! Oh, you must be getting cold. Button up your collar dear. MARJORIE KOLMER. 30 THE LAWREN CIAN TWO MOMENTS. The night before the ground was bare A sharp tang pierced the sultry air The moon was hid by a starless sky From afar I heard the lone-wolf cry. The next day all the earth was white The snow lay pure and cold and bright The sun was a dazzling golden string I heard the clear toned church bells ring. H. F. YOUTH. Happy youth, blithe and free, Filled with life and gaiety; Always stay that blissful way, Never doubtful, ever gay. Thus your days will be replete With your thoughts and wishes sweet. Sweet because they have you thrilled And your aim in life fulfilled. JOAN HOEXTER. SEASHELLS. Seasliells, dainty, fragile. Down beneath dark waters. Transparent and elusive; Neptune gave them to his daughters For playthings. Bubbles for the mermaids. Cherished deeply are they, Tangled in the sea-weed, Used by nymphs, wild and gay. For playthings. EDYTHE STRAUSS. EXPRESSION. Artists paint their feelings In colors, bright and gay. They seem to tell the looker What the artists want to say. I’ve looked all through the galleries. But never could I find The expression, that I’ve wanted For the picture in my mind. DOROTHY STERNGOLD. THE LAWREN CIAN 31 LEAVES. From my window I can see The silvery top of a white oak tree. Bending and swaying to and fro The branches twine and tangle so And the shimmering leaves in great distress Shrink from a blowsy winds caress. Chortling madly as it goes What it tells them, no one knows. But it leaves them so harassed Quivering gently when it's passed. H. F. 32 THE LAWRENCIAN Q o s s p LET'S GO LAWRENCE. You’ve probably sat back and read the more serious side of this magazine (including the jokes) and a little relaxation in the form of L. H. S. gossip won’t hurt. How many of you really know what happened to Bob Saunderson? Ah! two people. Well, for the benefit of the rest and rumors to the contrary Bob has all five fingers on his right hand, but the fifth is sorta chewed up. He jumped for a basket-ball down gym and got stuck on the basket (yes the basket) by his ring. Can you imagine his lanky form hanging on by one finger from the basket? Any fellow who can jump that high ought to make the team. He didn’t fall until the ring had ripped off, taking the outside of the finger with it. Speaking of cripples. Weiss still limps. I’ll bet he’d like to be in bed again to have that sweet little girl of Pepsodent fame keep calling. It seems that a great deal goes on around Mr. Dodd ( Prof.” to the initiated). Eleanor (Miss Hollister to you) cornered him in the office and after explaining that, in her opinion, the Science Department was one of the weakest units in the school, exclaimed. No wonder. It’s Doddering.” Then to make matters worse our inestimable Marjy Kolmer walks out of the Lab. about 3:30 and there wras Irwin (Butts) Clark and Mr. Dodd. Said the fun-loving Professor: Aren’t you going to take Friday with you, Marjory (was my face red)?” Then there’s the chem-co-ed who feels grand and glorious because she finally got up enough courage to strike a match and light a Bunsen Burner. It wrasn’t Helen Kunstler. THE LAWRENCIAN 3.1 Also Doug. Sellers breaking his chair in Room 11 and knocking out 4 or 5 struts from his seat in Room 7, Trig. Class. Just a great big playful boy. Talking about big boys reminds me of Tonkonogy driving his old Dodge up the school drive. If he goes more than two miles per hour, he’s good. One day after gently connecting with several cars going out the drive he got out and said in his disarming manner, “That’s funny, I couldn’t make it stop.’’ Oh, Oh! Slow but sure means Safe and sound: Yeah, but what? STARTING THE MORNING FINE. A play in 1 Act and 1 Scene Scene: English room Time: First period Cast of Characters: David Brown Miss Jensen Aaron Steiger Rest of Class. Introduction: Brown had just finished reading a blood thirsty art- icle on war. He was evidently a sincere advocate of militarism. Miss Jensen was growing more shocked at every word. At the end of the composition Brown was about to sit down when,----------- Miss Jensen: Just a minute. There should be many criticisms to that. Wild waving of hands from students.—Ah, that’s better, Aaron, what have you to say? Steiger: (duhmbfounded at being called upon though his hand had been waving frantically). I think war is necessary to kill off excess population. Quick Curtain. We don’t want you to see the blood-shed resulting. Enough to realize that Brown and Steiger are now confirmed Pacifists. When Miss Wood came to th eoffice to look up her absentees she found that Ray Baron, Leonard Klipstein and Joe Kahn were all absent. “Aha,” said she, “there’s mischief afoot.’’ She didn’t know the half of it, we found that Marge Stone was absent too. I hope everybody had a good time. All of you know Mr. MacDonald’s habit of taking his new car to school on nice days and the old one on bad. Well, well, well, and again well, one fine day along comes Mr. MacDonald in his new car, and just imagine, some bum bops his bumper. Oh, if it had only been the old car! 34 THE LAWEENCIAN Gee, it’s too bad, we had such a swell foot-ball team and they couldn’t give us a victory over Lynbrook. Oh, pardon—that is not my topic and anyway I’m not supposed to be serious so— Foot-ball troubles will drive me gray But that’s not what I’m here to say So let’s be gay. Studies and worries, may some say Make one crazy, but what care we Just let’s be gay. C i The Depression surrounds us. Play While you may. Study for your work And let’s be gay. If with this you’re disgusted, pay There’ll be none. See if I’m hurt I’ll still be gay. Columnist 13 Thirteen THE LAWRENCIAN 35 It happened in History Class—Miss Tefft: “Where’s Toronto? Teeny: Here! ---------o--------- At the Country Club—“Hey. waiter, this spinach is awful! “I'm sorry, sir, but you’ll have to see the greens committee about it. ---------o--------- There was a young man from Decatur, Who was given a pet alligator, But thru ignorance sweet Gave him nothing to eat. So later, the traitor, he ate 'er. ---------o--------- O. K. For K. O.—The master of an English school, reports the Kable-gram, asked the parents of certain backward pupils if they would allow him to try the persuasiveness of the cane. One parent replied: “Dear sir I have reserved ur flogeing silkier and u have my sankshen to wolup my sun Jhon ass much ass u lik i no Jhon is a very bad skolar his speling is simpely atroshes I hav trid to tech him mysilf but he will not lern nothing so i hop u will bet it intow him as much ass u kan. urs truley. ---------o--------- He stood on the bridge at midnight. And tickled her face with his toes; For he was only a mosquito, And he stood on the bridge of her nose. —Log. R-R-R-R-R-!—She (at the basketball game): “I don’t see how that referee can keep so cool. He: “That’s easy. Look at all the fans around him. 36 THE LAWRENCIAN Time Healeth All Things—“Is the climate in this town healthful?” asked the stranger. “Sure is,” the native replied. “Why, when 1 came here I couldn’t utter a word, I had scarcely a hair on my head, I hadn’t strength enough to walk across the room, and I had to be lifted from bed.” “Wonderful!” exclaimed the stranger. “And how long have you been here?” “I was born here.” ---------o--------- Flippant, See?—Teacher: “Lester, give me a sentence with the word flippancy.” Student: “Let’s flippancy whether I pass or flunk.” ---------o--------- How about Knuckles?—“Say, mister,” said the bright youth to the butcher, “Do you keep joints to suit all purses?” “Sure,” said the butcher. “Well, what have you for an empty one?” “Cold shoulder,” answered the butcher sweetly. ---------o--------- Dear Dad—Roommate: How do you spell financially? Mate: F-I-N-A-N-C-I-A-L-L-Y and embarassed has two R’s. —Longhorn. -----------o------ Teacher (warning her pupils against catching cold): “I had a little brother seven years old and one day he took his new sled out in the snow. He caught pneumonia, and three days later he died. Silence for ten seconds. Then a voice from the rear: “Where’s his sled?” —Annapolis Log. -----------o------ A kind-hearted gentleman saw a little boy trying to reach the doorbell. He rang the bell for him, then said: “What now, my little man?” “Run like blazes,” said the little boy. “That's what I’m going to do.” —Frivol. -----------o------ Judge (to servant acting as witness)—“Have you ever seen your master under the influence of intoxicating liquor?” Witness—“No, your honor, I can’t say that I have seen him, but I have seen him lying on the floor swearing that he’d catch that bed the next time it came around.” —Dog. THE LAWRENCIAN 37 The flapper co-ed went up to the young Prof, and said, “Profy dear, what are my marks?” He put his arm around her and whispered sweet little nothings in her ear. —Banter. ----------o--------- There was serious rioting in a certain Texas town, and the mayor wired to the governor for Texas Rangers to quell the disturbance. When the next train arrived from the Capitol, one Ranger stepped off. “Where is the rest of your outfit?” demanded the mayor. “The rest?” replied the Ranger, “You ain’t got but one riot, have you?” —Pennsylvania Guardsman. ----------o--------- “Are you an Elk?” “No, I was born with big teeth.” —Punch Bowl. --------o-------- Give Him Time:—“De man in room seven has done hang hisself!” “Hanged himself? Did you cut him down?” “No. sail! He ain’t dead yet.” —Outlaw. ---------o-------- Scrub—Is the captain double-jointed, sir? Coach—No. Why? Scrub—I just broke his leg, then. —Red Cat. ---------o-------- Barber—“Haircut, sir?” Customer—“Naw; just lower my ears!” —M. I. T. Voo Doo. --------o--------- “Ah, Watson. You’ve changed your underwear.” “Marvelous, Holmes! How did you know?” “Very simple, my dear Watson. You neglected to put on your trousers.” —Purple Parrot. BOOSTERS PAGE ANITA ROSEN ARTHUR HENSLER ANNABELLE WARSHAWSKY JEANETTE SHAW LILLIAN BAILEY DOROTHY ISRAEL HELEN NAGY SANFORD PEYSER GEORGE FORMAN NICHOLAS CALABRIA BEATRICE BRAHMS ELLEN HABER VICTOR COHEN STANLEY WAITZFELDER HENRY IRVING LEVINE LESLIE SCHWARTZ GERALD SINGER NATHAN KARP STANLEY JOFFE ARNOLD LITMAN WILLARD GARDNER RICHARD ROSENBERG LINA STAR ROSE OLIVIERI BERNICE WISHBOW HENRY ROSE CARMINE SICILIANO AARON STEIGER ETHEL WEYANT JOAN HOEXTER UNA CAHILL THOMAS MACKEY LEVY MESSINETTI ROSALIND TAFFAE ROSE GROSBY MARJORIE PORTUGAL CHARLES WISPLER ARTHUR SOBEL ANGELINA VAIRO YOLANDA PIZZIGATI RICHARD CLEAVER EDITH HOLLISTER JEROME ZEITLIN EILEEN BURNS EVELYN ELLERT ALBERT BENDIX “BUTSY” CLARK MARJORIE KOLMER META VOM SAAL AUDREY MOUNT SYLVIA GLUCK IRA STERN EDWARD A. DAWSON ALTALENA GRANT ELVIRA RINDER RUTH LIPKINT RUTH CRAFT SHIRLEY L. MARMON MARTIN STERN. JR. WILLIAM SHEK SHIRLEY FISCHER AUSTIN SCHWEITZER ELAINE WESTON GERTRUDE BERKOWITZ HARRY HAPPEL STANLEY BERNEY “JOE GABRIEL JEAN MEEK CATHARINE HOWARD MILTON GOODMAN JOHN MEEK IRWIN LENKOWSKY GEORGE KIRK GEORGE STONEBRIDGE “RED HEPBURN “BOB BROWN “ELLY GRAINGER ADELE OMARK MARTIN WEINGOLD MARVIN CHAIKIN SEYMOUR SMIGROD MILTON STERNGOLD PETER WOLFE HELEN KUNSTLER MORTON WINKEL HARRIETTE ALPER HAZEL GERRICK “POHNNY JEYSER PAUL ALTMAN ELEANOR WOHL ROBERT ELKINS LUCILLE WEISENBERG RHODA KLEIN HELEN BLOOMQU 1ST “SMALL TOWN WILLIAM HAWKINS JULIA SEMEL VICTOR BERKOWITZ DANIEL HANLON ALBERT SOKOLOFF MAXINE SHLIVKK NATHANIEL BARISH THERESA CAMPBJfii L JUjjjgAMTr yd—i r A. ' MARIE-LOUISE PI KLS r EDWARD COLLINS JOSEPH POWERS JOEL LASKEY JOHN BRANDT BERTRAM LICHTENSTEIN RUTH HELITZER BERNARD A. HELFAT VERA H. M ESI BOV ERG WkCTX'M BILOON JEROME DANOWITZ HENRY WITZEL JEANETTE “JAY BOCK NONA ERNSTEIN JANE ANNE JUDSON HOPE KAL1SKI MILDRED COMBS VIRGINIA JENNINGS JOSEPHINE FRIEDBERG MURIEL ERICKSON GENE JACOBSON . 7F= T 4M Yt jQk � JLL AJLs Compliments of Fantasy Theatre Rockville Center Grove Theatre Freeport Freeport Theatre Freeport Compliments of The First National Bank OF INWOOD INWOOD, LONG ISLAND Compliments of PENINSULA NATIONAL BANK CEDARHURST, N. Y. Tel. Cedarhurst 1930 N. KAPENSTEIN, Prop. CEDARHURST STAR MARKET Fresh Fruit and Vegetables Received Daily Orders Delivered Promptly 417 CENTRAL AVENUE, CEDARHURST, L .1. Cor. Carman Avenue Telephone Cedarhurst 02 60—0261 McLINSKY McNICOLL SOCONY FURNACE AND FUEL OIL 24 HOUR SERVICE 472 Central Avenue, Cedarhurst, Long Island (Eljmalanb ffiauii IGamtiiry COMPLIMENTS OF MR. AND MRS. L. G. GIES Telephone Cedarhurst 0975 Arnold D, Muller CHOICE MEATS AND POULTRY Cor. Bayview and Lord Aves. Inwood, L. I ROCKAWAY SAVINGS BANK CENTRAL AND CLEVELAND AVENUES FAR ROCKAWAY, N Y. THE ONLY SAVINGS BANK IN THE ROCKAWAYS DEPOSITORY OF THE SCHOOL SAVINGS BANK Are You A Member? $7,500 IS THE LIMIT BUT NO ACCOUNT IS TOO SMALL TO HANDLE 3V2 Per Cent. Interest Compounded Quarterly January, April, July and October EVERY MONDAY IS SCHOOL BANK DAY Oa C NEUBERGER OIL BURNER INSTALLATION CO., INC. 392 Central Avenue, Lawrence, L. I., N. Y. Phone: Far Rockaway 7-4278 CEDARHURST SHOE REPAIR CO. PATSY LOPRESTI, Prop. Expert Shoe Repairing 427 Central Ave., Bet. Carman Columbia Aves., Cedarhurst, L. I. VALENCIA MEAT AND FISH MARKETS, Inc. 408 Central Avenue Tel. Cedarhurst 8605 Cedarhurst, N. Y. BRANCHES: 1040 Central Avenue, Far Rockaway, N. Y. Tel. Far Rockaway 7-9085 1012 Broadway, Woodmere, N. Y. Tel. Franklin 688 145-07 Neponsit Avenue, Neponsit, N. Y. Tel. Belle Harbor 5-4433 COMPLIMENTS OF VINCENT ZAVATT GEORGE TOM LAUNDRY 416 Central Avenue Cedarhurst, N. Y. (Eumplimritts (if A JFrintit ANNA-RUTH SHOP Originators of Boudoir Specialties Hosiery Lingerie in All Sizes 496 CENTRAL AVENUE Near Cedarhurst Avenue CEDARHURST. L. I., N. Y. GILBERT E. HORTON COAL “The Best Is Always The Cheapest” Telephone 0123 Cedarhurst 141 BAYVIEW AVENUE, INWOOD, LONG ISLAND Compliments of Zara Construction Corp. LAWRENCE AVENUE, LAWRENCE, LONG ISLAND John A. Wood Son Co., Inc. Dealers in LUMBER SASH, DOORS, TRIM AND MASONS’ MATERIALS BUILDERS’ HARDWARE, PAINTS AND OILS Office and Yard: MILL STREET Telephone Connection LAWRENCE, L. I. Phone Cedarhurst 1643 F. R. MACKEY Real Estate Insurance POST OFFICE BUILDING LAWRENCE, L. I. WE TELEGRAPH FLOWERS MEMBER FLORISTS TELEGRAPH DELIVERY ASSOCIATION Dalsimer F, Inc. 1930 MOTT AVENUE FAR ROCKAWAY, N. Y. Tel. Far Rockaway 7-0700 57 6 CENTRAL AVENUE CEDARHURST. L. I. Tel. Cedarhurst 7170 Telephone 4026 Cedarhurst K. STRAND UPHOLSTERER AND INTERIOR DECORATOR 490 CENTRAL AVENUE. CEDARHURST. L. I. Phone Cedarhurst 4454 Orders Called For and Delivered PARISIAN TAILOR AN. ARABOGL, Prop. LADIES’ CUSTOM TAILORS AND FURRIERS 130 CEDARHURST AVENUE. CEDARHURST. L. I. MOTOR REPAIRING BY FACTORY TRAINED EXPERT MECHANICS Brake Service Fenders Battery Recharging Ignition Work Radiator Repairing Oil and Greasing TEDDY’S GARAGE REPAIRING Specialist on Nash and Chrysler Repair Work AUTO LAUNDRY Telephone: Cedarhurst 2767 560 CENTRAL AVENUE CEDARHURST. L. I. A. Louis Nebenzahl Incorporated TBn® ©(gpenadlaiM© C@nD(hrail Avow® Far M= T= Telephone Cedarhurst 6589 LAWRENCE AVENUE MEAT MARKET CARMINE CALABRIA. Plop. ITALIAN AND AMERICAN GROCERIES 44 LAWRENCE AVENUE, LAWRENCE, LONG ISLAND Telephone Cedarhurst 4270 DR. A. D. WISON DENTIST 1 BAYVIEW AVENUE, INWOOD, LONG ISLAND Phone Cedarhurst 0705 Phone Far Rockaway 7-8820 — FUEL OIL — “blue coal” SUNRISE COAL CO., INC. YARDS FROM BROOKLYN TO BABYLON Lawrence Station, Lawrence, L. I. TELEPHONE CEDARHURST 4171 MAGER’S MUSIC SHOP Sales — RADIO — Service 489 CENTRAL AVENUE, CEDARHURST, N. Y. Phone 0595 Cedarhurst LAWRENCE. L .1. COMBINED ICE AND TIRE SERVICE DAYTON TIRES OIL AND GAS — BATTERIES AND AUTO REPAIRS “Smith’s Corner” Cor. Rockaway Turnpike and Mott Avenue TELEPHONE CEDARHURST 6975 INW00D ITALIAN-AMERICAN FOOD MARKET SCHONWETTER BROS., Props. FINE GROCERIES Importers of ITALIAN AND DOMESTIC PRODUCTS 4 MOTT STREET, Near Lawrence Avenue Greetings to the Boys and Girls of Lawrence. IRVING WERNICK CEDARHURST PLAYHOUSE Telephone Cedarhurst 6235 FAC0P0UL0S CONFECTIONERY Three Stores 123 Cedarhurst Ave„ Cedarhurst 139 Lawrence Ave., Lawrence 300 Dou°hty Blvd.. Inwood Telephone Cedarhurst 0808 REALTY INVESTMENTS INSURANCE Ol)0$. (To., line. Lawrence Plaza, Lawrence, L. I. The Laurence-Cedar hurst Bank A STRONG BANK WITH 30 YEAR'S SERVICE TO THE COMMUNITY.... FUR STORAGE SAFE DEPOSIT BOXES AND STORAGE VAULTS Telephone Cedarhurst 1062 ALDER A- DOBLER (INCORPORATED) Hom? WARE ARD OUSE 480 Central Avenue Cedarhurst, L. I. ♦ CENTRAL AVENUE, CEDARHURST, L. I • I Telephone Cedarhurst 1469 Lawrence'Cedarhurst Press FINE JOB PRINTING BAYVIEW AVENUE, LAWRENCE, L. I. COMMUNITY RECREATION CO., INC. BOWLING AND BILLIARDS Finest Brunswick Equipment — Tea Room and Fountain 385 Central Ave. Open Dates for Afternoon Clubs Lawrence, L. I. CEDARHURST 3—9—19c AND UP DEPARTMENT STORE 488 CENTRAL AVENUE, CEDARHURST. L. I. CENTRAL BARBER AND BEAUTY SHOP Eugene Permanent Wave LADIES' AND CHILDREN’S HAIR CUTTING Tel. Cedarhurst 9772—3245 WE DELIVER MILLER’S PHARMACY Drugs With A Reputation TRY OUR LUNCHEONETTE Central Avenue and Rockaway Turnpike. LAWRENCE. L. I. Compliments of The Freshman Club Compliments of The Sophomore Club Teacher’s Booster Page Compliments of MR. CECIL C. MacDONALD Margaret Tweedie Athena Lee Ruth Abrams M. Grace Clause Helen C. Balcom Madeline F. Denton Grace Roach Katheryn Koerber Grace W. Ellsworth Katherine Baxter Jack Eleanor E. Hollister Ethel E. Hobbs Katherine Patterson K. V. Blank L. A. Outterson Florence Wood S. R. Posner Katherine Hartigan Kathryn Koppe E. R. Tefft Mabel Leavitt Compliments of The Junior Club Compliments of The Senior Club txcban e (Hub of Woo6moro WOODMERE, NEW YORK MEMBERS Earl W. Bennett Superintendent of Schools William S. Brower President, Hew.-Woodmere Nat’l Bank Warren D. Burtis Contractor Hiram V. Cosby Electrical Contractor Rev. Allen Evans. Jr. Rector. Trinity Church Anthony Fertitta Anthony’s Bayview Inn Charles A. Hewlett Attorney at Law Max Kaufman Tailor Louis Meeser Enterprise Market William Milk Milk's Department Store Harry Pearlstein B. B. Hardware Store Vincent Provenzano .... Contractor C. I. Seaman Cashier, Hew.-Woodmere Nat'l Bank Harold Spitzer Attorney at Law Dr. F. B. Stockdale Woodmere M. E. Church William L. Walling. D. D. S........-.......... -......—....-.. Dentist Arthur Eggleston Woodmere-Hewlett Herald Joseph Zavatt Attorney at Law George Zipp Hudson-Essex Agency A. F. Dalsimer Florist W-'Xt -6 . --'- i.� . ■ •-a -y y, 5’ -■ r ... . v :r ’ •:i' y'yr'i • «•.: •% I i. 2 £r. :+■• W ,v; ,. .i-a4f ii r ' • _ v a..:.. jf.‘ T :''' y - -■•M ••' - ' ‘% 1 .-;■ : 0- :’ :' ; . -J fe i|§| ‘ ' W' .•s , • . V’ $g 3 -- 4: a k ‘ « • ;-. ’ , v£,; 'vVfe‘T -J V ■ � E?2 • • £ Mfr V. 1 m . 2a