Lawrence High School - Lawrencian Yearbook (Falmouth, MA)

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LAWRENCE HIGH SCHOOL Twenty-seven Wesley Bourne’s high ambition has taken him to the greatest of heights. Mr. Bourne is champion flag pole sitter of Punkville County. A capacity crowd of fifteen heard Prof. John Mixer, Ph.D., B.S., A.B., and plain Bachelor speak from the Conant soap box at Harvard last night on the subject, Why I Comb My Hair”. Robert Walden has been appointed chief radio operator on the Swan Boats in Boston Garden. No word has yet been received at the Uni- versity of California of Robert Simmons, who left L. H. S. ten years ago to pursue higher education at this famous institution. Well, Robert always has been late! GOSSIP Richard Barry, small town boy, who has made good as the leader of the War Eagles, will once more make good, we are sure, when an engagement, not of the orchestra, but him- self is announced next week, to the first of the red hot” daughters, Betty Davis. Warren Davis, who is in Honolulu with the U. S. Naval Air Corps, is still longing for heaven and the Lord. Albert Soderland ' s beautiful skin has won him second prize in the Woods Hole Beauty Contest. Milford Hatch has become so Dizzy lately that he has been placed in an institution under the matronly guidance of Dorothy Frances. Everett Dunham, the gravel-throated night- ingale of the airways, has been signed for a new picture, The Singing Crow”. Stanley Burgess, who has become a successor to James Montgomery Flagg, has gone west” and has found that there i s a certain something in Hollywood that is as yet lacking on Cape Cod. All you feminine fans of the great trumpet- er, Paul Blanchard, will have to slow down your hearts and stop lying awake nights dream ing over him because a certain little brunette still has him in her clutches. Arthur Vieira, that tall, dark and handsome Romeo of the Cape Cod stage, screen, and radio, will appear in person at his home town next. The recent report of the death of Fred Shur- bert is untrue. It has been discovered that he gave this report himself to escape the clutches of a few of his many girl friends. NEWS Rev. James Cavanaugh has been named speaker of the month for the Woods Hole Sewing Circle. Oh, Clayton, here’s one about you.” Clayton Collins has joined the crew of the ice patrol boat General Greene, in order to pursue the Bergs next summer. Philip Norris has hauled so many boats in a certain boatyard on Falmouth Harbor that we fear he is suffering a serious case of hauli- tosis”. A new book, entitled How to Become Rich in One Easy Lesson or Marry A Rich Girl , lias just been written by Lester Crane. Robert Johnson, the famous hunter, has killed two gorillas in the wildest part of New York. Lawrence Farias, who has become the mighty successor to Hitler, after having taken Tea- ticket, has now turned his Blitzkrieg toward East Falmouth. Mr. Farias’s implements of war include a Model A Ford and a certain way with the ladies. Antone Moniz, the famous experimental flor- ist, has scored again. He has raised a new variety of skunk cabbage. Reuben Servis was fined 50 cents in Fal- mouth Court today for talking so much he disturbed the peace. Manuel Tavares has been awarded the prize for the most dangerous picture of the year for his photograph of a skunk in action. Well, Clayton, it looks as if the Class of 1940 is the only important thing in town this week, but I guess it’s my turn to go in now. So long!” So-long. I guess I’ll come back later.” L. H. S. FREAKS

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Twenty-six NEW TYPING RECORD FOR FALMOUTH SET Miss Irene Norris, typing an average of 1 133-57 words per minute, shattered the old record of 1133.56, held by Miss Cecelia Dutra. Miss Norris used a water-cooled Lightning machine. It is queer how one’s job affects him mental- ly and physically. Miss Mary Overy, who works in a candy factory, says that even at the end of the first week she gained perceptibly in weight. She was forced recently to move to a house where the doors are wider. Gertrude Marks was finally compelled to buy a new car, after her old jalopy breathed its last wheeze. It seems that someone placed an auto bomb in it. As soon as she connected the wires that she uses for a starter, a loud scream issued forth from under the hood, fol- lowed by a huge cloud of smoke. An explosion climaxed the drama, but the — er — car couldn’t take it. The radiator cap shot up and the en- gine settled heavily to earth. SOCIETY Gillian Williams had her coming-out this afternoon. At half-past five she came out of Sampson’s Shop, where she models. Helett Lumbert was voted in the Gallup Poll the most distracting mermaid on the New England Coast. At Miss Martha Sturges’s farewell party a press correspondent noticed that instead of 20 admirers, only a dozen were nresent. FASHIONS Melvina Crosby, interior decorator, an- nounces new color schemes for interiors. The new shades of bright red, purple, and green, she writes, will be more restful to the eyes. Patricia Hendrie, now more interested in Art than ever, has recently turned out a flock of women’s hats even goofier than the old ones. AMUSEMENTS At the Met Jeannette Harford supporting the supporting role to the supporting role to the leading lady in Frost.” ADVERTISEMENTS New Process! Piano De-Mothing! A few tunes played on your moth-infested piano by Miss Roberta Jones, proprietor, completely rid; it of the pests. By the way, Miss Jones gave a THE LA WRENCIAN — 1940 demonstration of her new process recently. Under her magic touch the moths were driven right out of the piano. Charlotte McKenzie, librarian at Cuttyhunk, the garden spot of New England, has recently completed a new novel, increasing the number ol books in that library to 15. SPORTS Jim Wright, the All-American quarterback lrom Syracuse, has at last decided that he has been in school long enough and will, we hope, receive his diploma in June. Harold Baker has just been signed as chief ball shacker for the Brooklyn Dodgers. The schedu ' ed bout between Richard Sleepy” Breivogel and Lewis Knockout” Marks came to a successful conclusion after the first half round when Lewis knocked himself out on the ring post and Richard fell asleep waiting for the gong. In one of the most exciting golf matches in years. Francis Lewis defeated Julio Perry, the champion of Cape Cod, whose average score is 19- Francis made the 18 holes in 15 shots. Julio became stuck in a sand trap and in at- tempting to get out moved the trap 200 feet further from the hole. The most amazing event in the sports world was the feat of Inman Soule, who swam the Coonamessett River in four hours and three seconds. Elwyn Turner has been appointed coach of softball at Sargent College of Physical Edu- cation. FLASHES It has just been reported from the Fiji Islands that Bill Hewins of the U. S. S. Violet and Charles Turner of the U. S. S. Lily have deserted and are being hunted in the depths of the Amazon -infested woods. It has been announced that Frank Mello of East Falmouth has been awarded the Stuffing Trophy for the finest piece at the National Taxidermists’ Convention for his common three inch mouse. Morrill Saulnier has been promoted from chief mechanic at La Guardia Field to efficiency man at the Falmouth Municipal Airport, pro- vided that he can keep out of the Bryers. George Kariotis has become so brilliant from his past ten years of study that when the lights failed the other night they used him for electricity.

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Twenty-eight THE LA WRENCI AN — 1940