Latter Day Saints Business College - S Book Yearbook (Salt Lake City, UT)

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if in 1:1111 ix tin:-1 ii: 1014-out-41.4.1 ,xoxox -in: nz 11141:-111111: in: ni was dead. He had fallen, half shot, at the front of his army. To celebrate Mild's death, John and Sasprilla decided to stage a wedding. The Judge of the Reform School united them, but just as Johnny had promised to obey, and just after Sasprilla had vowed to be a good cook and support, protect and wash for Johnny-a figure appeared slowly at the door. It was ye olde Mild Sandwich. A trifle rusty, but still ticking. He had survived the wild party. John, when he saw his old friends gaze upon him, almost died from stage fright. But Mild ran up and pumped his hand until water came to John's eyes. Mild says, I forgive you freely, John, and I sympathize deeply with you in this time of sorrow. I only regret that I have to get a new Secretary. The people were mad to see their dear sunkissed Captain again. They asked him where he got it and he replied, An Indian corn doctor gave me some corn liquor. They then staged the festivities and Sasprilla won the Bull riding contest. 1 1 1 1 1 Advertisements Gentleman: I have eaten three cans of your Corn-syrup and my feet hurt me as bad as ever. Is your Bunion-Easen as good? Col. Angerbaucr. 1 1 1 1 1 Before using your garters my calves were in a terrible shape. Now they are quite contented. Bob Pressler. 1 1 1 1 1 Lose weight where you most want to. Clarke Lucas. 1 1 1 1 1 Dear Sirs: After taking lessons from your correspondence school for one year, I can now play on the sink without missing a tap. Joe Peery. 1 1 1 1 1 Dear Mam. Before taking your wonderful hair tonic, my hair was coming out. Now it is all out. Josh West. -..gig Ogga.-

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The Courtship of Mild Sandwich N Plymouth Rock in days of old, strode old Mild Sandwich, stiff and cold. Clad only in his simple hose. Broad of beam and curly haired stood Sasprilla the town puritan. Near Mild Sandwich on the floor stood the shriek of the CalifIour, one Johny Alden, he was drawing flies on the window. ujohnyf' sez Mild to his private secretary, go to yon damsel Sasprilla and tell her that I love her still, and would marry her. So Johny bleached his hair and jumped up, and down the street he ran yelling wildly, I love Sasprilla, yet I must love her in silencef, Tearing open the door he found the fair damsel washing her neck. Holding his ears he sobbed, Mild Sandwich wants you to cook for him.', What are his recommendations?U says Sasprilla. l'Oh, he can trace his ne li ee back to the Califlourf' sez ohn . S g Y XVhy don't you speak for yourself, john? she sneered. Then back to Sandwiches ran Johny in leaps and bounds. Wlien Mild had heard his tail, he lisped, ujohny, youse is a snake in the grass. At this moment they heard a man singing, The Indians are on the Cowpathln Then straight way Mild pulled a nail from the wall, buckled on his iron corsets and ran to the council. Grabbing a horse-skin of arrows, he threw in a bag of cement and some shotgun shells, and said in silvery tones, Here's yer answer. The Indian took it and staggered into' the woods. I All the able-bodied men in the village were to meet at dawn to do battle. Johnny, the Woman's Home Companion, was left at home to tend the children and scare the book agents away. They set their alarm clocks for six, and eight armed men, led by Shakes Spear, the hobo Indian, and Mild Sandwich, the cap't, did the goose step into the forest. In the harbor the Califlour waved her guns in a salute, and putting on her glad rags set sail for the old country. Johny waiting on the shore waved a last goodby. Sasprilla came stuttering down the beach and proceeded to wind johny around her little iinger. Mild walked miles that day. Suddenly he was forced to stop for water and air at an Indian Village where the savages Staged a battle for his benefit. An Indian named Calf lost his head so Mild sent it back to Sasprilla on a platter. Excellent dish- calf brains. A telephone wire was received at the village post office that the great Sandwich 11111111 1 11 11 31 1111 11 11 111111111 11,11 11 1 1:1 1 inlnininzuz in 1 nz --f+if2o7ii+e-

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My friends laffed at me when I told them of your wonderful advertisementg but after hearing me play on the tambourine they were astonished. Now I have no friends. Milt Cowan. 1 1 1 1 1 Prof. Lucindino D. Swindyke: Before taking your course on Writing Poetry for Proiitu I didnIt have a rag to my back. Now I am all rags. Claude Silver. P. S. XVhat rhymes with Bobslay? 1 1 1 1 1 Dr. Gastric. Before taking your medicine my husband died, my dog ran away, and two of my chickens were stolen. Since taking, I have gained ten pounds. Nabbie Clawson. 1 1 1 1 1 Sleuth-foot Roscoe. Since taking your correspondence course on How to Become a Detectiveu, in three parts, I have run down three desperate pedestrians. Am in jail. Please send advice. Darwin Evans. 1 1 1 1 1 Dandruff. A sure way to end it. Use the Indian Cure. One scalp a day keeps the dandruff away. Dr. Moroni Brown, Jr. 1 1 1 1 1 Illllj fx-1-f-w fi i- a asv unI ' M ax- ....nuu.nr.vg4 M ,, Nw' 9 Rs :midi fllllllliwizy, -- I 'f s umm W ,W i . 4 i I I f 1 14, , illlll' ilifw Y fl' 4 '2 I 9 ' . NIV fl 1 ei j ,.w4-5.41: , y Q If . J! I , .11 ' - 432 095251-- .gn