Lansing Central High School - Oracle Yearbook (Lansing, MI)

Page 15 text:

311 C1'iifD11EiC. To those who graduate from the Lansing Iligh Skule I would offer a word of advice. In the lirst place you are to well edicated to saw wood or pedal tin-wire, but if you are bound to pedal begin on sunthin easy like seven dollar bibles and never try patent medesin unless you can read human natur. I my self have bin in the patent medesin business nearly li munths and have had a variety of ex-periences, hoping many who imbark in the business may proiit by what I have to say I will re-pete my ex- periences in story form. TVe only had in 20 akers of corn and 12 akers of potatoes so as there wasnit enough hoein to keep me busy looked around and ubtained an agency for Montgomeryds Great St-ummick and Liver Ilenovator, composed of roots, hurbs, caster ile, rubarb, poty-folin, and other such mild lacksitives, very pleasin to the taste and agreein with the most delikut systim. I got a good supply of this medisin and after killin off as many ol' my poor relashun as Idared without exsiten publick suspicion, de- cided to vacate the premises. I had jest ten shillin in my pokit-buk and that being the exact fare to Lansin, konkluded to make that my next terrotory. I got on the kars and sot down by a feller who wore a prince- alburt koat and a white nekty and I knew in a miuit he was ingaged in some kind of church work, so I asked him if he had a cerkit. He said he was aholdin revival meetins and was up so much nights and had so much responsibility that he was just about played out. It seems he had jest ben down to Lansing for he sez to me sez he, 109

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Cassie Hulburd Rush Hume Clark Jagger Seth Jones Mae Kane Sadie Kincaid .Hattie Knowlton Millie Koonzman Mary Kramer Robert Langenhacker Charles Lesher Lena Lietzen Edith Longstreet Oscar Loomis Emma Lower Carrie Lyons Carroll Lyon Belle Madden Belle Mack Mamie McClory Celia McQuellan Mary Martin Lizzie Matchett Ned Martin Anna Meech Bessie Meyers Augusta Middleton Bessie Mileniore Zclla Mishler Dell Moon Mildred Moon Roy Moore Ilattic Moses Florence Mundon llelen Baker Rena Black Lulu Newlon Paul Nelson Henry Nichols Marie Nichols Florence Nixon Lester O'Dell Clara Csband Charles Page Dwight Parmelee Lynn Parsons Etta Payne Bertha Pollock Lillian Powers Beulah Pratt Dora Pray Chrissie Prost Eva Pulcifer Stewart Raniage Nellie Randall Gains Randall Grace Raymond Arthur Reasoner Arthur Redmond Lillie Reiner Carl Richardson Aber Richardson Helen Robson Lula Robertson Bert Ross May Roach Lulu Scratclierd Hall Scranton lTQl'I11i1l1 Schreiber Lula Scutt SPECIAT.S. Xettie Hubburd Ida Sutliff 11 as Emma Shaible Marion Seeley Don Sherman Mable Smilie Edie Smith Earl Smith Arthur Smith Clinton Spencer Jessie Stabler Rollin Strong Jessie Strang Nancy Sutton Mabel Ten Eyck Irma Thompson Lavina Tobin Alice Tooland Vern Townsend Arthur Tracy Mable Treglown Charles Tubbs Julia Yan Buren Leon Yredonburg Vivian Yan Alstinc Ernest Ward Theo Wardwell Kate W'clJlJ Lucy Winans Anna Winters Bessie Wilson Floyd Wilson John Winiple Eugene Wood Ray Young Nettie Voorhees Claude Hunter

Page 16 text:

'C the sinners do be orful this year, last night 23 Went forward and T23 went backward, and he groaned in spirit. IVell sez I you need sunthin to brace you up, and I have the thing, it is composed of roots, hurbs and pure malt licker. IVhen I sez lieker I noticed a slight elevation of his right ear, so I knew I was on the right track. Sez he, air you sure that there licker is pure? Yes, sez I, war- ranted to make a man so in 10 minutes he can't see the holes in a ladder. 't Gimme 12 bottles, sez he, which I did and done them up on the spot in one of Georgie Fields' Iligh Skul Observers. I after ward learned the poor feller died, but I was to busy a visitin, the sick and aiilicted to inquire of the undertaker whether it was the rubarb or what the medesin was done up in that killed him off. IVhen I got off at North Lansing a draymun, who had part af the sermun on the mount printed on one side of his wagun and 't In God we trust all others pay as you go H on the other, hollered for me to get out of the road as his horse was fond of grass. After I had counted all the ribs in his old horse except 2 iloatin' ribs on the off side, I jest kum to the natural konklusion that his appetite did tend that way and hustled acordingly. The first house I stopped at the woman throwed 2 sticks of cord wood and the stove iron at me jest because I kicked her dog olf of the frunt stoop. NVhen I tried to rcmonstrate with her and sell her a little renovater to kam her nerves. for every time she throwed high and to the right, she told me if I stopped to arger she'd have the depity-konstnbble lock me up three hours in the ladies waiting room at the North Lansing depo. It is simply surprisin' how fast a man kin move in an enierguncqv. Then l tried a barber shop for I sec a bald heded man in there readin' a paper. I walked in. Sez I to him, sez I. Hdon't the flies trubble you orful in the summer time? Ile never said a word but ketched two on his hed that were lightinl over a bred crumb and pulled their laigs off. Then I told him I had an article that would make his hair so long 110