Lanier Township High School - Lanierian Yearbook (West Alexandria, OH)

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WHODUNIT DETECTIVE AGENCY WEST ALEXANDRIA, OHIO Repgrt May 27, 1957 To Mr H Conarroe From Subject Whereabouts of Laxuer Class of 47 Dear Mr Conarroe, Your letter of April 15 started a.ct1on Ln this office My investigators have turned in the followmg reports on the Lamer Class of 47 We are proud to report that, although these are not the most intelligent people we have ever dealt with, they are by far the most mterestzmg We report as follows WAYNE BAUGHMAN This gentleman 15 now a messenger for Western Union. They fmd hun mdlspensable as he can get any message, anywhere, fast It seexns he acquxred th1s talent on a basketball court Do you get the point? He always dld RALPH BROWER Ralph is a farmer R1ght now he is bulldmg an ultra modern barn wzth fluorescent lights and swimming pools for his pigs Also there is a bunch of httle Browers runnmg around ANNA BRUBAKER 15 very busy takmg care of a lot of little red headed farmhandlets EUGENE BRANDENBURG Rejoined the Navy soon after graduation so that he could have a gxrl U1 every port There are so many ports that he has to arrange theln in alphabetlcal order as Allce from Arabia, Bonnxe from Belgxum, Carrle from Canada, etc , etc He is even thinking of lobbying for abxgger and better alphabet EUGENE CAPLINGER Gene has a Job with a shavmg cream company makmg up hymes for Burma Shave smgns He always was very w1tty Nitwxtty? he Howlmg Dog Food Corporatron Very approprzate I should say At the end of h1s solo, the commerclal reads Does your dog sound like th1s ? Poor Willis! I I DORIS GILBERT the outdoors g1.rl of the class as now takmg up wrestling to work of excess energy Rumors are flymgtn the effect that she xs even considering a match w1th The Angel JUNE MINNIX Now holdmg down the posxtxon of chxef promotor for Doris Ar rangmg bouts and so on june always was a good organizer THEORDORE HALL 18 now m Tibet selling magazme subscriptxons He gamed experlence for this whxle carrying papers in the C1t1CS of Ingomar and Enterprxse How that by has come up m th1.s world U!!! GLENN HEIN now res1ding m Afrxca trying to sell natives on hvmg m KLASSY KABINS complete wxth hot and cold runmng palm trees The only reason he has not been eaten by cannibals 15 that he keeps them busy laughuxg at his corny jokes flf he doesn t quit tellmg that Joke about bemg black all over the natives ARE gomg to eat hixn I . . . . . WILLIS DRIVER - has a job singing on the radio. His prograrn is sponsored by f F-i ' . ' . . .s f . ,, . .. I

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THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF THE CLASS OF 194-7 Here m the presence of wxtnesses on th.1S third day of March, we, as mdxvidual members of the Senior Class do wmll and bequeath to the worthy juniors, our noble successors the followxng gezns I Betty Warren, do wlll my prowess Ln track the 440 that xs, to Harold Neal We Bob Tuvell and Drck Loxley do will and bequeath those httle bundles of love namely the West Alexandria cheerleaders to next year s Lanier Varsity I Ethel Mae Lesh, leave my eternal love list to Mary Berry I john Lantxs, will all those lusczous, voluptuous Eaton maxdens to Walter Dunker and Craxg Patterson I, Ted Hall, do endow Wxlma jean Brubaker and L1ll1an Akers, respectively, w1th my hexght and knack of fzllbustering I Ralph Ernerson Brower Rosy to you juniors, endow Bob Garber wxth my art of love and devotion I, Wxllrs Dr1ver, leave my croomng, swooning voxce to Dale Aukerman I Gene Capllnger, w1ll my locatwn and knowledge of Ketterman Hollow to Charles Hmman G1.ft to the Women oh, those lucky females I I Ethel Mae Lesh, do leave my scahfty waistlme to joan Bake and Lois Spxtler Don t f1ght gn-ls' I Paul Kmsey do w1ll that little curved corner on the mterior of the Twm Valley Bank to B111 Baker I june Mmnnc, do will and bequeath my knowledge of college agriculture to Betty Eikenberry I, Wayne Baughxnan, do leave my quiet, serxous, respectful spirlt to john Brokaxnp We, Ralph Brower and Anna Brubaker do leave our blissful obl1v1on of others to Delores omxth and Dxck Garber Pete s only a sophomore! I, D1ck Nixon do leave my stud1ousness ability of bemg teacher s pet, that 15 to Pat Roes el I Gene Brandenburg, do endow Gladys Hall wxth my perfect attendance I Dor1s Gxlbert, do will and bequeath my knowledge of Bowlxng Green and Ashland to Barbara Barnwell for her own personal use We, the Semor Class of 1947, do leave I . I . I I I I , Q 0 0 I I, Glenn Hein, do endow Donald Lindsey and Keith Eby with my title of G0d's

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Whodunit Detective Agency QContim1edj PAUL KINSEY - is traveling over Italy gathering material for his book, The Love l..-Ives of Roman Patriarchs. JOHN LANTIS now has a job in Paris painting beards and mustaches on bill boards and puttmg trim on red barns john always did have an artistic turn. I think it was a turn for the worse RICHARD LOXLEY 18 training for the pole vault contest in the Olympic Games ms goQ to E Ek all records he says In has spare time he has been teaching the new Lanier track teams just exactly how he, Wayne and johnny set all those records DICK NIXON Dick and Mrs Reitz have gone into partnership and are running a speed typlst school Dick is also looking for a good typewriter repalrlnan. says he can throw a lot of business his way And I do mean THROW BOB TUVELL I found him in a store window decorating it I knew it was he, be- cause he had his arms around a cute blonde mannequin wearing a bathing suit Up to his old tricks again! Hal I ll BETTY WARREN is modeling diver s suits and helmets m New York We always 13 say t r figure she could model anything but this is going to far ETHEL MAE LELSH is now in Paris studying art work Outside her studio is a s1gn E. WE LESH ARTIST IDCTRAORDINARY She painted a portraxt last week that was out of this world fand howl, What a bunch of characterlllllllllllllllllll IT 8 A GREAT LIFE A no , perhaps? What about that, Doris? Did you chew that gum after holdmg it on your nose june? Why weren t you at 1,-r play practice, Anna? What s Leonard doing now? Paul -Some class huh? Glasses and all Isn t that a bell ringing? Why Dons, you know we never have fire drills any more Gene you certamly tried makmg the jr play short and sweet But all Jokmg aside, those thu-d act lines didn t sound bad in the fxrst act You know that you can t get past the eagle eye of Mrs McClellan, johnny, so the next iirne you and Bob had better stay in the assembly Why the big bow Paul? Miss Lennxng praised your sister, not you Family pnde isn t that great now is 1t? Betty, d1dn t you hear the alarm? Tune to get up! Uh oh that is Mr Harris and not the alarm No more sleeping m Lzterature Are we seeing thxngs, or is that a shoe hangmg out the window? Was that three or four perlods Bob, that you hobbled about on barefoot ? He re . ' I , D He d ' , .... . . I U ' I Circles on the blackboard with chalk in them must have someone holding thexn. se . I 1 0 - , . ' . , . l a . . . , .