Lancaster High School - Mirage Yearbook (Lancaster, OH)

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HELEN: Sam Smith. Lancaster’s answer to Albert Einstein, orrived at the new building under a big load of his scientific treatises which he is donating to the new library. Speaking of Smiths. I, Helen, the most beautiful of the Greek queens, hove been told that Mary Lee Smith married another Smith because sne couldn't stand to change such an unusual name. MARIE ANTOINETTE: Well. Cleo. just be- cause you have been around so long you’re getting crotchety with old age. You need not think I haven’t seen a few people myself. John Bonecrusher Smith has just resigned as head coach of the Vossar tiddely-winks team. I have been told that he may go to Liberty Union Institute of Technology to coach checkers. He will have as his assistant. Dick Sohrenssen. HELEN: I just heard of the unfortunate demise of John Noecker, a former member of our class, who after many arrests for reckless driving, turned to racing at the Indianapolis Speedway, and was fatally injured in an acci- dent. It sounds just like our chariot races. It also has been related to me that Bob Holowell and Fred Boerstler are on the stage (moving scenery) in the Broadway ploy. The Man in the Little White Coat Cometh. starring Jayne Simmons. The supporting cast includes Sherry Crawford. Jan Paulin. Jim Baughman and Jane Yates. CLEOPATRA: If the gods be favorable to me I shall tell of a Barbara (Porter) Hunter who was voted the Mother of the Year. It seems as though our old classmate has been doing some research on child psychology. My friends. I hove also heard that Jim Slater, the free- spender, contributed enough money to build an amphitheater—well. I believe they are colled gymnasiums now. Jim’s construction engineers are Dick Robinson and Tom Brelsford. Working on the construction are Homer Burt. Don Cloffey. Grant Conrad, James Cook. Horold Pugh. Leroy Alvis, Bert Beddow and Herbert Graf. Dick and Tom have os their efficient secretaries. Doris Merrick. Betty Korns, ond Mary Milligan. This concern has been very successful. MARIE ANTOINETTE: All you can ever think of is men. Cleo. just because you once hod on emperor on the string . . . “Helen, hove you heard thot Sommy Good- win has returned from Europe with all the prizes of the art world? She is now founding an art school, ond Chuckie Snider will aid Sommy in the establishment of the school. They will em- ploy Ronald Bell. Barbara Dougherty. Betty Nut- ter. and Patty Mercer as teachers in the school, which is to be named the Goodwin Art Insti- tute. Martin Stickford is to be the janitor. HELEN: If the gods will look upon my words with favor. I shall tell you of the members of the Pensioners Professional Basketball Team. Jack Rebel Fairchild. Charles Ellinger. and Dave Clark are the mainstays of the team. 'Deb' Nolder and Bill Eaton run a bookie joint in Pearl Alley. They place bets on races and fix the basketball games with the aid of the Pensioners Professionals. CLEOPATRA: I have spoken with Mary Graf, who has a beauty salon on Mulberry Hill— for the convenience of the high school girls. Marv told me that Lowell Enoch is now in New York City as conductor of the Philharmonic Symphony Orchestra of New York. HELEN: Also across from the school build- ing is a new short order place, owned by Jim Wolfinger, called The Wolf Den. They spec- ialze in hamburgers and forged pass slips. Denny Winner is the chef, and Tom Turnbull is on full- time duty os their expert forger. MARIE ANTOINETTE: Ronnie Hauser and Larry Giesy now own the new Giesy-Hauser Hospital. Bob Blackstone is its superintendent. Sandra lies superintends the Nursing School. The head-nurse is Joan Stevers. Head-resident sur- geon is David Johnston. Other members of the staff include Clarence Randolph and Lefty Hanon. who is a very clever southpaw with tne scalpel. Kenny Huffman is an orderly. CLEOPATRA: As of old. when visiting Rome. I have made sacrifices to the gods of the Nile. It has been revealed to me through the omens of the mighty green Nile that Ed Work studies Canine Relations—a course in advanced dog catching—at the B. I. S. (Bremen Institute of Science). Elaine Schneider studies advanced dynamite and elementary nitro-giycerin at the G. I. S. (Greenfield Institute of Safecracking). MARIE ANTOINETTE: ”1 must report, though it is a grievous thing, that I saw Don Pax- ton ond Jim Sears in a checker tournament for the championship of the Old Men's Home. Across the street is the Home of Indigent Old Maids. Their checker champion. Joan Westenhouser. will meet the winner of this tournament in a vicious play-off. Also of the Home for Indigent Old Maids. Marilyn Nichols. Peggy Tiller, and Suzanne Kerns were competing for the crocheting Pag® Tw®nty-s®ven

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Prophecy A Dialogue The Time: The year is 2000 A.D. The Characters: Helen of Troy. Cleopatra, and Morie An- toinette. famous beouties of colorful history (they think.) The Setting: The characters (and we do mean characters) are. well, we must confess it. inmates at the Ath- ens State Hospital. Each one has an unfortunate hallucination regarding her identity. Each iden- tifies herself os a beautiful and powerful figure in history. One calls herself Helen of Troy, a Greek queen of renowned beauty. Another im- agines herself to be Cleopatra, the famous Siren of the Nile. And the last? Ah. poor misguided creature, she thinks herself to be Marie Antoin- ette. young and beautiful queen of France. They recently escaped to attend the dedication of the new Lancaster High School building. (Oh. Glorious Day!) They were recaptured by the men in the little white coats and are now dis- cussing their recent sojourn into the world of man —sane man. that is. We must admit that these devastating and famous beauties don't always live together in perfect harmony. Perhaps this discord is oc- casioned somewhat by the instinctive striving of each one to substantiate her position for all time as the most beautiful, most powerful queen in the annals of civilization. We have reason to suspect that the strain of attempting to write their Class Prophecy, way back in '52. was too much for brains already overtaxed by the burden of school work. Since we feel that these unfortunates ore to be pitied for their plight, we shall refer lo them by the names which they themselves have chosen. ... HELEN speaks: Oh most noble queen. Cleopatra, of ancient Egypt, youthful, wise, and prophetic: oh. most beauteous Marie Antoinette. Queen of France and noble friend, whose graciousness and exalted rank are known for and wide, we have returned together to this osylum from the treacheries and deceits of the outer world. Spoke we with Ronold Hutsler. who has just announced his retirement from the post of Chief Legati (Chief of Police), a position which he has served so honorably for these many years. At the ceremony of the dedication of the new building, he was performing his last official duty in holding back the eager throng. He recounted to us the adventures of his old buddy. Tom Drumm. who heads the Pendergast political machine which has as its motto Politics polluted or politics pure, but politics forever! He also told of the model farm owned by Bud Mowery and Bob Spongier. Cecil Hendershot. Bill Staten, and Carl Noland work for the B-B Farms, and they say that Bob is a slave driver and Bud. a regular tryant. CLEOPATRA speaks: Helen, you have spoken well, as befits your aristocratic station. But know you that I have conversed with Nancy Knepper. who is a scribe (secretary) for Moore's Mechanical Marvel Mop Company. She told us that Jim Moore had devised a mop in answer to the wails of the F. H. A. (Frivolous House- makers of America). This mop washes windows, scrubs floors, dusts cupboards, and even gives a massage. This last accomplishment has irritated Gary Rowley, who was a thriving chiropractor until Moore's Mop came on to the market. MARIE ANTOINETTE speaks: Girls, you have spoken well, but I hove seen Norma Austin. Ida Sweet. Betty Pickering. Sally Street, and Mary Ellen Friend, who were at tne ceremonies in their official capacity of nurses to aid any former L. H. S. students who were overcome by the sight of the new building. While I was stand- ing awestruck before the massive beauty of the colossal structure, David Peter Gerald Jerry Westenbarger spoke to me. Jerry is the Pres- ident of the Old Polks Hiking Society. This society has as its Vice-President. Gynyth Cummins. Lura Lee Hightower. Bob Neal, Shirley Brady. Arthur Dowdy. Jerry Dickson, and Charles Franke are all enthusiastic members of this society. The members of the former Trades and Industries Club, now the Tycoons and Indus- trialists Club, hove founded the P. P. P. A. (The Progressive Popcorn Poppers of America) scnool to teach people to pop corn. These tycoons are Jim Bauman. Chairman of the Board, and his board of directors. Kenneth Good. David Ster- ling. Buddy Nisley. Wayne Sherburn. John Grif- fith. Gene Weaver. Alvin Brown. Dick Haynes. Rupert Welliver. Wendell Fox. Richard Tyler. Dick Noice. and the Chief Popper. Wesley Peck. CLEOPATRA speaks: Marie, although this time you hove spoken wisely. I must admit that you should have acquired this knowledge long ago. (You’ve had enough time for practice.) Another T. I. member. Charles Stockwell, is now a retired Olympic Gomes skating cham- pion. Oh. Goddess of the Nile, look upon him with favor. Page Twenty-six

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championship. Sue Hritz, who is too feeble to do anything, just watched. Last week the two homes held a joint party. Shirley Spung, Jack McKib- ben. Bill McNaughton, Rita Rockey. Darlene Sater. Lonny Deeds, Freddy Foub!9, and Marilyn Shonting enjoyed acmes of Post Office and Spin the Milk Bottle. After the refreshments of milk toast and tea were served to the old folks by Jo Ann Cattran and June Bean, who were still mighty spry, the old people were entertained by John Osterhage, who gove imitations of Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse, screen stars of a by-gone day. HELEN: Marie, you have spoken most truly, but know you that it was reported to me by Jo Ann Helser, now co-owner of the B-H feed store chain, that they employ Anne Kane (who models feed sacks), and in their office as typists, Jo Ann Eslinger and Jo Ann Amerine. To distinguish the Jo Ann's, they call them Jo. Jody, and Jo Ann. respectively. Max Hickman, David Schilling, and Harold Niggemyer are preaching the Gospel. Gods upon Olympus. I call upon you to witness this heresy! James Bushee has iust won a national award for a prize winning photograph. MARIE: It’s a good thing you weren't around. Helen you'd have had your famous face in the front row. I hove noticed a new chariot road through Lancaster. Shopkeepers ore thriving along the side of the road. Dick Pifer is opening a new drive-in movie theater to be colled Pifer’s Royal Palace. He is employing os ushers. Roy Enmen, Bill Byerly, Robert DeLong, and James Divelbliss. The people who work in his refresh- ment stand are Norma Childers, Janice Bena- dum, Brigito Soles, and Patty Bope. The movie to be shown at the grand opening will be They Were Perishable. starring the singing sisters, Mary and Patty Perry. On the other side of the road is a farm-implement garage. Frederick Beougher and Paul Bitler demonstrate tractors to the customers. Leo Bowers is the owner of the garage and the head mechanic. He employs os a specialist in the repair of manure spreaders. Roger Figgins. CLEOPATRA: I sow the new chariot road also. Farther down the road you can see a new drive-in beauty salon, operated by Pauline Drum. Joann Doss, Pnyllis Darfus, ond Lu Anne Dickson. They call it the D-Drive-ln Beauty Salon. The girls employ Phyllis Cavinee os their manicurist. Mary Bussard and Jo Ann Brill were picketing up and down in front of the Beauty Salon with signs proclaiming D-Drive-ln unfair to the Beauty Workers Union. MARIE: I spoke with Dan Goss who has just returned from the Senate at Washington. (Oh, these radical democracies, allowing the people to have something to say about their government!) He tells a sad tale of the many fine men who are entangled in the red tape of the Pentagon. Bernard Snonk and Wally Smock are members of the Committee on Committees of the Armed Forces Committee. Dick Pursell, Jim Rife, and Norman Imler ere disbursing officers. They have written so many pay checks that they see dollar signs in front of their eyes instead of spots. Don Robson and Jack Roe are office boys. Horry Moore and Ronald Moore are officers in charge of the Salute. It is their duty to see that everyone gives the proper salute to the proper person. Naturally, their work is classified Top Secret. Bob Henwood is the Countersign Officer. He must see that there is a new pass word every day. The countersign for the day when Dan left was Canasta!” to be answered by Rummy! Frank McGrow formed a committee of one to unwind red tape.” HELEN: I hear that Joy Mills and Mary Norris have retired from the wrestling ring after many profitable years as champion TV wrestlers. Carol Leohner is now a referee with an Austral- ian Tag team.” CLEOPATRA: Dearie, you should have gone into the ring. (You’d have made a good mat!) Also in the field of athletics, I have been told, is Dick Asher, retired P. G. A. champion, who is giving golf lessons. He is assisted by Harold Waugh, who is now the Pro at the Lan- caster Public Golf Course. Larry Thomas and Bob Thomas are tumbling and weight lifting champions billed as The Terrific Thomases. MARIE: Two former members of the Class of '52. Marcia Shipley and Geraldine Mathias, have formed a secretarial employment agency. They have been very successful in finding jobs for such people as Jo Ann Miller. Betty Patrick. Jean Peer, Greta Tolliver, Joyce McGee, and Rhoda Saunders. HELEN: As a great orator. Demosthenes had better look to his laurels for Barbara Mattox is a high powered orator in the wilds of Africa, where she is a missionary to those backward Egyptians. She took Jo Anne Gillespie and Patsy Sherburn with her as medical missionaries. Page Tw«n»y-oight