Lancaster High School - Mirage Yearbook (Lancaster, OH)

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Russell Blume and Marie Ruff. My godmother, what is Russell’s occu- pation now?” “Oh dear, he is still a thriving, bashful farmer.” “Now I see a man with a gun and I really believe he is hunting rab- bits. Well of all things it is my old friend Vorys McLaughlin. What is his business?” “Diana, perhaps it will please you to know he has just invented a gun that will hypnotize an animal long enough to allow a person to take good aim.” “Well that is exactly like Vorys. He was always good at aiming at things but he never seemed to hit them.” “Look do you see the small lady dancing? Do you know who she is?” “I believe, godmother, it is Minnie Ritter but doesn’t she do any- thing except dance?” “No, my child. Minnie is working among the legless Frenchmen She has given up all hopes of having a husband so is patiently devoting all her time to giving “hula hulas” for the amusement of these wounded soldiers.” “Oh, godmother, look! I see a large building in the distance, what kind of a store is it and to whom does it belong?” “Well my child that is a clothing store which belongs to one of your classmates Lester Horn. Can you read the sign in the window?’ “Yes, I believe I can. Is this what it says, “See the Living Model in the Next Window.” “Now, look in the next window, Diana.” “Wonder of wonders! It is my friend, George Alfred. Well, well his Appollo-like form always did display to advantage the latest fashions of the day. And now I am certainly glad he is at last among the things that give him the most pleasure in life.” “Now notice, who comes next Diana. She is a girl who has cer- tainly changed during the last few years.” “Yes, of course I know her, poor Bess Baker! I hear her mumbling softly to herself, “Oh where are those wandering Phi Sigs tonight?” “Well, you know, child, she always did have a time keeping hold of her male friends, but it seems she is having a worse time now than she ever did.” “Now I see a small figure with a paint brush in his hand and a pen behind his ear. He is hurrying to and fro with great eagerness. Alas, I have found my old friend Dick Mattox!” “Oh, godmother! tell me what he has been doing all these years.” “Dick, your old friend is now a famous cartoonist. He just receiv- ed $300,000 for a very small cartoon and he is working on another for which he will receive $30,000,000. He is always kept very busy for his work is so remarkable that a single small cartoon moves the people to tears or rejoicing, according to the sentiment of the picture.” “Now godmother, I see a courtroom and the Judge comes forward with bowed head. His face certainly looks familiar but tell me, quick who is he?” “Well Diana, he is your old friend, George Courtright, who even after all his experience has never recovered from his bashfulness.” “Now I see him tap on the table and the trial begins. Tell me what kind of a trial is this and who is the tall dark haired girl speaking?” “Why, Diana, I thought surely you would know her, it is your dear old comrade, Leonore Abele Murphy, who is seeking a divorce from her husband, Robert Murphy, whom she says is not able to support her on his biscuit salary.” “Oh well, that’s just like Lenore of old. She was always getting into something difficult. But do you know, I really believe she will be

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“Look, look what is the reading on that sign projecting from that large building, well can it really be this: WALTER RUGH Corset Specialist For All Shapes and Sizes “Well, you remember, child, Walter always was a sissy and he still clings to girlish fancies.” “Now I hear a great deal of clapping and a large crowd of females are standing around a platform. On this platform is a woman making a speech. Who is it? Those cork screw curls look familiar. Still I can- not recognize here.” Tell me quick who is she? “Dear, it is your old friend Helene Ala Applegate.” “She is now making tours over the country and speaking on wo- man’s rights. One of her most famous speeches is “I held my mouth shut and the men clapped, I opened it and nobody spoke.” “How like Abby of old, always with an open mouth.” “Do you see that man approaching smoking a corn cob and smiling a bull dog grin? “Why my godmother he is the very picture of th' once famous Harry Lauder. “True my child this man is the famous Stephen Ruch, who has in every way taken Harry Lauders place. He is noted everywhere as “The man who can cause a cranky old grouch to laugh until he almost breaks his reputation.” “Oh, this certainly is a romantic scene. It is moonlight and sitting in a hammock I see two persons who are getting closer, closest and now they kissed. I hear her softly whisper, “Don’t be so soft Ed.” But I don’t know them.” “Oh, my child, it is your old friend Edwin Jefferson Bolenbaugh and his sweetheart Rosa Sally Beuter. “My, my, how like old Ed. He always was so soft in his younger days and although he is now an old bachelor, I see he still is after all the young girls with large incomes, curly hair and short dresses.” “Look, look Diana, another of your classmates has now been brought to view.” “Where godmother I can’t see anyone?” “Away, far away in the distance there a man sits bending over a desk. He is now busy writing an essay which he thinks will make him a wealthy man. The title of the essay is “How to get through High School in seven years.” “Surely you recognize him now.” “Oh yes of course, it is my honorable friend William Kiefaber. For who else in our class could have written on such a subject.” “Now, my child, look what is approaching.” “Oh, what is it? Why what a brilliant light! It surely isn’t an au- tomobile light. It is so very bright it hurts my eyes and I cannot tell what it is.” “Well, my dear, do not look at it if it hurts your eyes, for I will tell you what it is. It is Ruth Kistler’s diamond ring. You know her first lover deserted her and she now goes through the world and with the use of this brilliant light is seeking for happiness and another man’s love.” “Well, well, I certainly hope she soon finds what she’s looking for.” “And still they come. My child, look, for it certainly will puzzle you to find out who these two are.” “Gracious, I can’t see anything but a Ford, it seems as if no one is in it.” “Yes, there is, now look.” “Well I should say there is someone in there. But who would have thought that these two would be married, its my two old schoolmates

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able to secure a divorce, for you know her bewitching eyes always did help her a great deal ’ “Diana, now behold the most beautiful theatre in America. It is noted for its marble columns and wonderful paintings. This theatre is ably conducted by two of your school mates, read the sign above the en- trance ' “Godmother is it so, is this the property of some of my classmates? Well, well, it belongs to Herbert Kneller and Dewey Deeds. True these two fellows were always interested in theatres but who would have thought, they would some day own such a wonderful place ’ Again, Diana notice the billboard before you turn away.” “Marvelous, marvelous is this what I see—Mary Elizabeth Thomas the greatest vampire of the day in her masterpiece, Tn Water Up To Your Knees ” “Well, godmother, who would have thought that my pious friend Mary Liz would do such a thing, yet its hard I guess to tell how they will turn out. “Behold now another of your classmates. Can you see the tall wil- lowy figure carrying a basket of eggs on her arm? “Yes, godmother I see her and recognize my dear old friend Mary Catherine Cullumber. But what is her profession? “Dear, she is the most noted chicken specialist in the world and is writing articles for all the important magazines on the subjects “The care of chickens” and “What it really means to be a Chicken Queen.” Now I see a small shop in the distance and on the electric sign I see “Kathyrn Gerhard and Marceilla Drumm (Removers of homeliness.) What do they do godmother I don’t quite understand? “Look at the small printing my child on the window and you will soon find out.” “Oh my, they certainly must be wonderful—“Faces made more suitable for Humanity while you wait.” This surely is a wonderful work they are doing and I hope they are always successful.” “Now, behold Diana that beautiful home in the distance. The one built on the hill overlooking the Hocking River. Do you see it? Well, it is the home of one of your classmates, draw near and discover who it is.” “Oh godmother, I see Oramay Ballinger Ewing sitting before a cheery fireplace, her husband Jack and their happy, cheerful, chubby charming little Jacks and Jills. What a happy family.” “Yes, Diana, it surely is a very interesting and happy family.” “Away off in the distance I see a man with a camera rushing wild- ly to and fro taking pictures. Who is it, godmother?” “Well child, of course he is Neil Thompson who has just invented a camera that is very convenient, for in two minutes after the picture has been taken it is developed and finished. You know, I always thought Neil had a noble mind and now I know it for sure.” “Now, behold this young lady approaching carrying a huge loaf of bread and a can of pickles. She is one of your familiar classmates. Do you recognize her? “Well, how natural, it my old pal Bernice Repass. But what is she doing with those things?” “Diana, your friend Bernice is now Domestic Science teacher at Sugar Grove. Her bread is noted everywhere for its stick-illity and she makes the best pickles in Ohio. She surely is some cook.” “Look, godmother, I see a man approaching and on each side of him 1 see a Red Cross Nurse. Who in the world are they?” “Well, child, it is Wright Amerine, now a noted physician, who is practicing in Europe and his two assistants Helen Schneider and Faye Wharton, who because of the great work they are doing are called: ‘The Two Sunshine Janes From America’. ”