Lancaster High School - Mirage Yearbook (Lancaster, OH)

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“Look, look what is the reading on that sign projecting from that large building, well can it really be this: WALTER RUGH Corset Specialist For All Shapes and Sizes “Well, you remember, child, Walter always was a sissy and he still clings to girlish fancies.” “Now I hear a great deal of clapping and a large crowd of females are standing around a platform. On this platform is a woman making a speech. Who is it? Those cork screw curls look familiar. Still I can- not recognize here.” Tell me quick who is she? “Dear, it is your old friend Helene Ala Applegate.” “She is now making tours over the country and speaking on wo- man’s rights. One of her most famous speeches is “I held my mouth shut and the men clapped, I opened it and nobody spoke.” “How like Abby of old, always with an open mouth.” “Do you see that man approaching smoking a corn cob and smiling a bull dog grin? “Why my godmother he is the very picture of th' once famous Harry Lauder. “True my child this man is the famous Stephen Ruch, who has in every way taken Harry Lauders place. He is noted everywhere as “The man who can cause a cranky old grouch to laugh until he almost breaks his reputation.” “Oh, this certainly is a romantic scene. It is moonlight and sitting in a hammock I see two persons who are getting closer, closest and now they kissed. I hear her softly whisper, “Don’t be so soft Ed.” But I don’t know them.” “Oh, my child, it is your old friend Edwin Jefferson Bolenbaugh and his sweetheart Rosa Sally Beuter. “My, my, how like old Ed. He always was so soft in his younger days and although he is now an old bachelor, I see he still is after all the young girls with large incomes, curly hair and short dresses.” “Look, look Diana, another of your classmates has now been brought to view.” “Where godmother I can’t see anyone?” “Away, far away in the distance there a man sits bending over a desk. He is now busy writing an essay which he thinks will make him a wealthy man. The title of the essay is “How to get through High School in seven years.” “Surely you recognize him now.” “Oh yes of course, it is my honorable friend William Kiefaber. For who else in our class could have written on such a subject.” “Now, my child, look what is approaching.” “Oh, what is it? Why what a brilliant light! It surely isn’t an au- tomobile light. It is so very bright it hurts my eyes and I cannot tell what it is.” “Well, my dear, do not look at it if it hurts your eyes, for I will tell you what it is. It is Ruth Kistler’s diamond ring. You know her first lover deserted her and she now goes through the world and with the use of this brilliant light is seeking for happiness and another man’s love.” “Well, well, I certainly hope she soon finds what she’s looking for.” “And still they come. My child, look, for it certainly will puzzle you to find out who these two are.” “Gracious, I can’t see anything but a Ford, it seems as if no one is in it.” “Yes, there is, now look.” “Well I should say there is someone in there. But who would have thought that these two would be married, its my two old schoolmates

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“Oh, my child, she is now owner and superintendent of a large pony ranch from which she is shipping ponies to all the important High Schools in the U. S.” “Oh, my godmother, I see in the distance a beautiful church. Now I can see the inside of the church, which is crowded with people. Now I hear the strains of the wedding march: Now the minister comes for- ward and that gown covers a figure strangely familiar, I recognize the intelligent face of Walter Sittler. But where is the bridal party?” “Look Diana for they are coming slowly down the aisle. And the strange part about it is that it is a double wedding.” “Of all Miracles! Of course I know them! It is none other than Ralph Sexauer and Harold Hoyman leading the blushing, bashful Hoff- man twins to the altar. “Yes, my child and here has ended a long tiresome, silly and happy romance. “Whose that man coming near dressed in such a peculiar fashion and who is the young lady by his side? “Why, Diana dear, that is Willie Wiseman the Billionaire onion king, and his new wife from Jamacia.” “Well, how like Bill, he always did say that none of the girls of our class were good enough for him.” “Oh yes and how sad to think that even none of the girls in our own United States were good enough for him. What a particular old man he will be.” “And, Oh godmother, here comes a woman and man dressed in the height of fashion. My what a handsome pair! The woman is hold- ing the man’s arm with all her might as though she feared he might escape. Who in the world is it? “Why I thought sure you would recognize them. It is Paul Cooney now a famous chemist and his dear little wife Sarah Lavina Short. “You remember in their High School Days they never could agree but now they have agreed that they can never disagree and are as charming a pair as ever could be.” “Who is that sweet faced girl telling stories to that group of chil- dren?” “Why surely you ought to recognize her.” “Yes for sure, it is Miriam Snider, but why is she here?” “O Diana she is telling stories to the little French orphans in order to keep her mind from the Battle front of Europe where Lois is fighting”. “How like Miriam always loyal and true but why should she worry for she knows his thoughts are always of her.” “Oh Diana do you see the tiny shop in the distance?” “Oh, godmother, is my magic spell leaving for I cannot see the ciny shop?” “Now look my child surely you will be able to see.” “This shop is ably conducted by your most distinguished classmate Madam Jennie Shumaker. Yes and the sign above reads: ‘Dresses Shortened While You Wait.’ ” “You know, Diana, Mr. and Mrs. Castle have departed from this world and new dancers are needed to take their place. This place has been filled by two of your most dignified classmates. Look do you not recognize them?” “Oh, godmother, can this be Alice Hunter and Albert Ruff?” “Alas! So it is for they are conducting a dancing school on Fifth avenue N. Y., and Albert is known everywhere as the man with the slippery feet.”

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Russell Blume and Marie Ruff. My godmother, what is Russell’s occu- pation now?” “Oh dear, he is still a thriving, bashful farmer.” “Now I see a man with a gun and I really believe he is hunting rab- bits. Well of all things it is my old friend Vorys McLaughlin. What is his business?” “Diana, perhaps it will please you to know he has just invented a gun that will hypnotize an animal long enough to allow a person to take good aim.” “Well that is exactly like Vorys. He was always good at aiming at things but he never seemed to hit them.” “Look do you see the small lady dancing? Do you know who she is?” “I believe, godmother, it is Minnie Ritter but doesn’t she do any- thing except dance?” “No, my child. Minnie is working among the legless Frenchmen She has given up all hopes of having a husband so is patiently devoting all her time to giving “hula hulas” for the amusement of these wounded soldiers.” “Oh, godmother, look! I see a large building in the distance, what kind of a store is it and to whom does it belong?” “Well my child that is a clothing store which belongs to one of your classmates Lester Horn. Can you read the sign in the window?’ “Yes, I believe I can. Is this what it says, “See the Living Model in the Next Window.” “Now, look in the next window, Diana.” “Wonder of wonders! It is my friend, George Alfred. Well, well his Appollo-like form always did display to advantage the latest fashions of the day. And now I am certainly glad he is at last among the things that give him the most pleasure in life.” “Now notice, who comes next Diana. She is a girl who has cer- tainly changed during the last few years.” “Yes, of course I know her, poor Bess Baker! I hear her mumbling softly to herself, “Oh where are those wandering Phi Sigs tonight?” “Well, you know, child, she always did have a time keeping hold of her male friends, but it seems she is having a worse time now than she ever did.” “Now I see a small figure with a paint brush in his hand and a pen behind his ear. He is hurrying to and fro with great eagerness. Alas, I have found my old friend Dick Mattox!” “Oh, godmother! tell me what he has been doing all these years.” “Dick, your old friend is now a famous cartoonist. He just receiv- ed $300,000 for a very small cartoon and he is working on another for which he will receive $30,000,000. He is always kept very busy for his work is so remarkable that a single small cartoon moves the people to tears or rejoicing, according to the sentiment of the picture.” “Now godmother, I see a courtroom and the Judge comes forward with bowed head. His face certainly looks familiar but tell me, quick who is he?” “Well Diana, he is your old friend, George Courtright, who even after all his experience has never recovered from his bashfulness.” “Now I see him tap on the table and the trial begins. Tell me what kind of a trial is this and who is the tall dark haired girl speaking?” “Why, Diana, I thought surely you would know her, it is your dear old comrade, Leonore Abele Murphy, who is seeking a divorce from her husband, Robert Murphy, whom she says is not able to support her on his biscuit salary.” “Oh well, that’s just like Lenore of old. She was always getting into something difficult. But do you know, I really believe she will be