Lancaster High School - Mirage Yearbook (Lancaster, OH)

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“Oh, my child, she is now owner and superintendent of a large pony ranch from which she is shipping ponies to all the important High Schools in the U. S.” “Oh, my godmother, I see in the distance a beautiful church. Now I can see the inside of the church, which is crowded with people. Now I hear the strains of the wedding march: Now the minister comes for- ward and that gown covers a figure strangely familiar, I recognize the intelligent face of Walter Sittler. But where is the bridal party?” “Look Diana for they are coming slowly down the aisle. And the strange part about it is that it is a double wedding.” “Of all Miracles! Of course I know them! It is none other than Ralph Sexauer and Harold Hoyman leading the blushing, bashful Hoff- man twins to the altar. “Yes, my child and here has ended a long tiresome, silly and happy romance. “Whose that man coming near dressed in such a peculiar fashion and who is the young lady by his side? “Why, Diana dear, that is Willie Wiseman the Billionaire onion king, and his new wife from Jamacia.” “Well, how like Bill, he always did say that none of the girls of our class were good enough for him.” “Oh yes and how sad to think that even none of the girls in our own United States were good enough for him. What a particular old man he will be.” “And, Oh godmother, here comes a woman and man dressed in the height of fashion. My what a handsome pair! The woman is hold- ing the man’s arm with all her might as though she feared he might escape. Who in the world is it? “Why I thought sure you would recognize them. It is Paul Cooney now a famous chemist and his dear little wife Sarah Lavina Short. “You remember in their High School Days they never could agree but now they have agreed that they can never disagree and are as charming a pair as ever could be.” “Who is that sweet faced girl telling stories to that group of chil- dren?” “Why surely you ought to recognize her.” “Yes for sure, it is Miriam Snider, but why is she here?” “O Diana she is telling stories to the little French orphans in order to keep her mind from the Battle front of Europe where Lois is fighting”. “How like Miriam always loyal and true but why should she worry for she knows his thoughts are always of her.” “Oh Diana do you see the tiny shop in the distance?” “Oh, godmother, is my magic spell leaving for I cannot see the ciny shop?” “Now look my child surely you will be able to see.” “This shop is ably conducted by your most distinguished classmate Madam Jennie Shumaker. Yes and the sign above reads: ‘Dresses Shortened While You Wait.’ ” “You know, Diana, Mr. and Mrs. Castle have departed from this world and new dancers are needed to take their place. This place has been filled by two of your most dignified classmates. Look do you not recognize them?” “Oh, godmother, can this be Alice Hunter and Albert Ruff?” “Alas! So it is for they are conducting a dancing school on Fifth avenue N. Y., and Albert is known everywhere as the man with the slippery feet.”

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C LAS S PROPHECY Time—1940 Place—Enchanted Woods. Characters—Godmother Gail Kerns. Modern Diana—Dorothy Graf. Enter Modern Diana, after a weary chase (for husband?) “Oh! this weary, weary chase! will it never end! Why did I ever obey the dictates of my godmother? For twenty long and weary years I have searched diligently for these ever elusive Seniors of 1918. I have trusted her implicitly only at last to be deceived in my old age. My godmother even told me this was an enchanted wood and here I would find my friends. (Reclines on a rustic bench). Oh! I am so tired of this improfitable journey and how I wish, how I wish Enter Godmother, “What do you wish, my child?” Oh, my godmother, is it really you and have you truly come at last?” “Yes, I have come and mean to give you any wish for which you ask. Remember! I can only give you ONE.” Well, I wish I could look far into the future and see my classmates of that wonderful class of 1918, and the individual work of each.” That is all I will ask.” “You shall have your wish my child. I will touch you with my Magic wand then your wish will be fulfilled. Do not try to touch these persons as they pass. Do not try to speak to them for it will be in vain. They are only visions of the future.” “Alright, my godmother; I will earnestly obey your commands.” “Look eagerly, my child, for the Magic is at work. Keep your eyes stead-fastly on them as they pass or you will not be able to tell who they are.” “Oh, I see a man talking and all the people are cheering him but, (who is it?) His face looks familiar but surely he isn’t one of my class- mates.” “Yes he is one of your most honorable classmates. It is Irvin Dun- gan who is now President of the United States and all the people hail him as the grandest President who has ever been at the head of their Nation.” “Glorious, glorius if only the rest have such a brilliant future”. “Yes and there are two girls standing near him eagerly watching every motion of his face, why it looks as if it were Eva Lehman and Ruth Markwood; is it really them and what are they doing? “Yes it is, you know Eva and Ruth always did like Irvin and he was very fond of them, but he never could decide which one he wanted for his wife.” “Well the only thing I can see is for Irvin to become a polygamist.” “I guess you are correct my child that is the safest plan for him to take.” “Who is the girl coming down the road leading those two beautiful Shetland ponies?” “Why, Diana don’t you recognize your old classmate Clara Sin- grey ? ” “Oh, yes, Clara always was fond of ponies during her High School days. But what is she doing with them now?” 26

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“Look, look what is the reading on that sign projecting from that large building, well can it really be this: WALTER RUGH Corset Specialist For All Shapes and Sizes “Well, you remember, child, Walter always was a sissy and he still clings to girlish fancies.” “Now I hear a great deal of clapping and a large crowd of females are standing around a platform. On this platform is a woman making a speech. Who is it? Those cork screw curls look familiar. Still I can- not recognize here.” Tell me quick who is she? “Dear, it is your old friend Helene Ala Applegate.” “She is now making tours over the country and speaking on wo- man’s rights. One of her most famous speeches is “I held my mouth shut and the men clapped, I opened it and nobody spoke.” “How like Abby of old, always with an open mouth.” “Do you see that man approaching smoking a corn cob and smiling a bull dog grin? “Why my godmother he is the very picture of th' once famous Harry Lauder. “True my child this man is the famous Stephen Ruch, who has in every way taken Harry Lauders place. He is noted everywhere as “The man who can cause a cranky old grouch to laugh until he almost breaks his reputation.” “Oh, this certainly is a romantic scene. It is moonlight and sitting in a hammock I see two persons who are getting closer, closest and now they kissed. I hear her softly whisper, “Don’t be so soft Ed.” But I don’t know them.” “Oh, my child, it is your old friend Edwin Jefferson Bolenbaugh and his sweetheart Rosa Sally Beuter. “My, my, how like old Ed. He always was so soft in his younger days and although he is now an old bachelor, I see he still is after all the young girls with large incomes, curly hair and short dresses.” “Look, look Diana, another of your classmates has now been brought to view.” “Where godmother I can’t see anyone?” “Away, far away in the distance there a man sits bending over a desk. He is now busy writing an essay which he thinks will make him a wealthy man. The title of the essay is “How to get through High School in seven years.” “Surely you recognize him now.” “Oh yes of course, it is my honorable friend William Kiefaber. For who else in our class could have written on such a subject.” “Now, my child, look what is approaching.” “Oh, what is it? Why what a brilliant light! It surely isn’t an au- tomobile light. It is so very bright it hurts my eyes and I cannot tell what it is.” “Well, my dear, do not look at it if it hurts your eyes, for I will tell you what it is. It is Ruth Kistler’s diamond ring. You know her first lover deserted her and she now goes through the world and with the use of this brilliant light is seeking for happiness and another man’s love.” “Well, well, I certainly hope she soon finds what she’s looking for.” “And still they come. My child, look, for it certainly will puzzle you to find out who these two are.” “Gracious, I can’t see anything but a Ford, it seems as if no one is in it.” “Yes, there is, now look.” “Well I should say there is someone in there. But who would have thought that these two would be married, its my two old schoolmates