Lancaster High School - Mirage Yearbook (Lancaster, OH)

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you’ve had experience in the business, I think you’ll be just the man for the place.” Thus “Pinkey” obtained his position. It was about three weeks after “Pinkey” had first come to Mrs Smith’s restaurant. He was behind a counter washing glasses one morning, when the postman came in and left a letter on the case in front. Leaving his work, “Pinkey” took the letter, sat down on a stool and gazed at it. It was addressed to Mrs. Smith, but was unsealed. “Pinkey” felt tempted to open it; the more he looked at it the stronger the temptation grew. Fi- nally he opened it and drew out the contents. There were two sheets of paper and the following was typewritten on the first: Chicago, 111., April 1, 1915. Mrs. Ezra Smith,— Dear Madam: As your uncle’s lawyers we have found it necessary to write you that he has just died and has left you ($30,000.00) thirty thousand dol- lars. Here the writing on the first page ended. “My goodness,” ejaculated “Pinkey” as he was about to turn to the second page. Just then he heard some one coming, and thinking it was Mrs. Smith, “Pinkey” quickly pushed the letter under a stack of prune dishes on a shelf nearby and when Lizzie came in, “Pinkey” was at his usual place, working as hard as ever. That afternoon he asked permission of Mrs. Smith to go on an errand, and she prompt- ly complied, for she was truly smitten with “Pinkey.” “Pinkey’s” errand led him to a small shop farther down the street where three golden balls hung just above the door, swajung in the afternoon breeze. Here “Pinkey” hocked his watch and invested the six dollars thereof in a second handed imitation diamond ring. Here his errand ended. That night “Pinkey” was in his room, writing a letter. It read like this— To Missus Smith:— Roses is red, Violets is blue; If you want me, I’ll marry you.” From your affectshunate, PINKEY. He gazed at his poetic proposal with becoming admiration, then pondered upon this undertaking. He had always said before that it would mean his finish if he were mar- ried. but that was only idle talk, he argued to himself, and besides what about that thir- ty thousand dollars, which only the lawyers and himself knew about? With this optomistical view, “Pinkey” dropped his six dollar ring in the envelope and started for the postoffice. CHAPTER III. Monday morning, “Pinkey” was unusually early at the restaurant. On this day, he was to receive his answer. If Mrs. Smith wore the ring the answer was yes; if not, it was no. As he was busily working in the kitchen, “Pinkey” heard someone enter the front door, he espied Mrs. Smith, and on the third finger of her left hand sparkled a six dollar diamond ring! With a sudden nervousness “Pinkey” watched her. Just then Lizzie entered, late as usual. As soon as she saw the ring she uttered a cry of delight. “Ain’t that scrumptious” (8)

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itfimatj tif “Jltnkeu” (HubbB. (By Richard Mattox. ’18.) CHAPTER I. “Pinkey” Tubbs wheezed his way up the dinky stairs that led to his small apartments, as he gained the fourth landing he gave a sigh of relief. “My goodness,” he gasped, as he mopped Jiis brow, “them stairs seems longer each time I come up ’em.” With this assertion he turned and plodded down the small hall that led to his rooms. As he turned the corner he came to a sudden stop. His worst fears were suddenly real- ized. There, directly in front of his door stood Mrs. Miranda Jones, his hard-hearted land-lady. Upon spying him. she approached and said in an icy tone, “Mr. Tubbs, ITi trouble you fer my six dollars rent money, please.” “My goodness,” exclaimed the dismayed Pinkey, “why Missus Jones, I ain’t seen a dollar since last week, let alone six dollars, but if you’ll wait awhile I’ll—” “No, that settles it,” said Mrs. Jones loudly, “if you can’t pay you’ll have to get out, and get out right away. I’m a poor widder woman, with three children, and the cost of livin’’s so high, I can hardly keep myself, let alone keepin’ somebody else, an’ besides I—” But Pinkey had fled down the stairs. As he reached the sidewalk, he gazed about wondering where to go. He decided to walk down the street in search of a job. As he sauntered along, he began to ponder on his position. Here he was out of a job and out of home Surely there was some reason for all his trouble. Ah, he knew; it was his massiveness. Yes. “Pinkey” was fat. This was proved by the fact that the only arti- cle of dress he could buy ready-made was a collar button Moreover, the ancient adage. “Nobody loves a fat man,” had proved true in every respect. Fortune had turned her back, and leeft him a hungry outcast, all because he weighed over three hundred pounds. 0. cruel fate. While thus meditating, “Pinkey’s” attention was attracted across the street. Nailed on one side of a restaurant door was a large sign with the following words printed upon it WANTED MAN TO TAKE POSITION AS WAITER, APPLY WITHIN. “Pinkcy’s” heart leaped for joy. Here was luck at last. With high hopes he crossed the street and entered the door of the restaurant. CHAPTER H. Mrs. Smith was talking. “Lizzie dust off that beefsteak in the window, and did you put that sign up?” “Uhuh,” answered Lizzie,” I tacked ’er up on the north side of the door right in plain view, an’—” Here Lizzie was interrupted by the arrival of our hero, “Pinkey ’ Tubbs. He looked at Mrs. Smith and said, “I begs your pardon, but are you Mrs. Smith, the proprietor?” “Yessir,” promptly answered Mrs. Smith. “Are you the man come for the job?” “Yessum,” replied “Pinkey.” My name is Mr. Tubbs an’ I worked in a railroad res- taurant before.” “Then your’e just the man we’re looking for,” beamed Mrs. Smith. “Ever since Ezry mv husband died, we’ve needed a man around the place to do the harder work, and since (7)

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she exclaimed, “I’d just bet the last custard pie in this shop that that's from “Pinkey.” At this, Mrs. Smith smiled, and “Pinkey” felt a cold shiver go up his spinal column. Mrs. Smith sat down on a stool and fanned herself, while lizzie stuck a stick of tutti frutti gum in her mouth, and began to chew vigorously. ‘‘What d’ye want me to do first?” she asked of Itfrs. Smith. “Well, you better wash them prune dishes,” said the Madam, “their gettin’ kinda dirty.” Lizzie accordingly lifted the condemned prune dishes from the shelf, and as she did so a dust stained letter fluttered from the shelf to the feet of Mrs. Smith, who picked it up wcnderinglv. “Why, here’s a letter for me,” she exclaimed. “1 wonder how it got up there.” She drew out the contents and as she read the first page a look of amazement spread over her face, but as she turned to the second she suddenly hurst out laughing. “Ha! Ha! Ha!” she cried. “Them kids thought they hid play a joke on me, and I never got it till today, Ha! Ha! Ha!” and she left the room convulsed with laughter. “Pir.key” crept out from behind the counter quaking with fear. There was something terribly wrong: what did she mean by “those kids”? And what did she mean by “joke?” Nervously he picked the letter from the floor and looked at the first page; it was just the same as when he had seen it before. Then he turned to the second page. “0, cruel Fate! There, before his very eyes, on that accursed second page, in inch high letters stood two words— APP.TL FOOL! “Pinkey” gazed dazedly in front of him, then sat down weakly on the stool. “My goo’ness.” he gasped. The End. A ©rue Alitor On one side of the ocean a tyranical monarch believing firmly in the “divine right” of kings: on the other side a liberty loving people, with the hatred of despotism and the love of freedom instilled deeply within them: and between them was being carried on a great and mighty struggle, the Revolutionary War. Day after day, and month after month, the Colonists were losing or winning battles, but each time gaining strength and courage, while the red-coats were gradually losing their confidence and easy assurance, but not their determination to win. Far back in the mountains, overlooking a narrow valley, was a small cabin, surround- ed by tall trees. Within lived a mother and her two sons. They were very poor, like most mountaineers, but managed to raise enough corn and vegetables on their small hill patch upon which to live. The father had been dead a number of years, but bravely and unweanly, the woman had toiled to keep and raise her sons. She had succeeded, but in the struggle her rugged health had failed and she became an invalid, devotedly, if at times unskillfully cared for by the two boys. The elder at this time, was nineteen years old, stalwart and strong. The younger was seventeen, a slight delicate youth, on whom the care of the mother and the house- (9)