Lamont Public Hospital - Yearbook (Lamont, Alberta Canada)

Page 36 text:

Thirty-Four Lamont Public Hospital VIGNETTES FROM JUNIOR LIFE 1. Theroux last seen in pyjamas and bedroom slippers out in the snow bank looking for Dorrett and Neilson’s can of peaches. 2. Robertson seen again reaching into the mail sack for a dirty envelope—or a dollar Valentine. 3. Ross still insists on entertaining the class with her letters. 4. Babcock, last seen behind E ward fire door looking for wash clothes. 5. The latest in bunk—Longmire falling off the top one. 6. A daily occurrence. MacKay taking off her shoes before entering her room. 7. A tall, blond Adonis is still looking for Vernie. 8. Oh! for brothers like Kabayama has! Nylons and silks almost every week 9. Charlotte, you must keep your head on your shoulders not on the foodlift. 10. And did you hear the cheerful voice of Andrulevicus say as she entered Bill “Well, here’s where I start practising!” 11. We wonder if it’s really Grandmother that Hennig visits in Bruderheim so frequently. 12. We never know a 20-year-old could be so cute until we met Jory. 13. Yamauchi still thinks patients should be admitted according to the num¬ ber of gowns available. 14. Margaret Horton after an hour in charge of a ward, “My head, my nerves, my everything!” 15. Incidently, has Yewchin still got the one and only available man on A. ward? One young smart alec was properly put in his place. While being settled he asked if the nurse was going to kiss him good night. To which she sweetly replied, “Oh, the orderlies do all the dirty work here.” 33. The Question, the Appetite and the Voice. 34. More. 35. Three Lena and Cornell fans. 36. Everyone has a shot at it. 37. Still more. 38. Mascot McSnerdiak. 27. Woof—wolf! 28. Peace River Reps. 29. Gosh! Can’t I even relax? 30. In. 31. Man shortage, I guess. 32. Out.

Page 38 text:

Thirty-Six Lamont Public Hospital THE TEN COMMANDMENTS (FOR PROBATIONERS ONLY) 1. Thou shalt obey thy Seniors. 2. Thou shalt not bow down to the Orderlies, mistaking them for. Doctors. 3. Thou shalt not take the name of the T.S.O. in vain for L.P.H. will not hold thee guiltless if thou so doest. 4. Remember the Sabbath Day to keep it Holy. Six days shalt thou labour, and on the seventh shalt thou do all thy extra cleaning. 5. Honour the Seniors, that thy days may be peaceful in the ward to which the T.S.O. has assigned you. 6. Thou shalt not feel like murder (when thou comest from duty at 9 p.m.). 7. Thou shalt ruin the “flowing tresses” with a hairnet. 8. Thou shalt have no time to thyself for pleasure. 9. Thou shalt not feel aggrieved at false witness against thee. 10. Thou shalt not grumble at thy hard lot, at thy early rising, at thy misery inflicting boots, at thy bibless apron, at thy tired back, at thy aching feet, or at any other thing that comes in the life of a probationer. TO A PROBATIONER If you can please the matron and the doctors, The graduate nurses and the patients, too, The patient’s families and the senior nurses, It would seem that you have quite enough to do. If you can please the Czarines of the kitchen And all the maids who scrub and wax the halls And yell at you for walking through their puddles And smile when you have lost your beau’s phone call. If you can please the doctors and the interns, Keep quiet when the buck they try to pass Or when the help of boiler room and laundry Just think the day is lost .without their sass. If you can stay your tears in the dispensary They ask for whom and why you want their wares And send you back to wards for requisitions And make you climb at least a million stairs. If you can stand two months of the O. R. With “tie my gown” and “hand my this and that,” The wild excitement and the doctor’s scolding And you don’t give up and leave your training flat. If you don’t swear the night you’ve got a “date” on And are informed it’s your turn to relieve If you still stick when lying tongues run rampant, That those in charge seem disposed to believe. If you can glide past doors at early daybreak And sign the book and make it look like 10 o’clock.” And do the same old “chronics” every morning And never think of calling one a “crock” And then when you have finished all your training You can look back upon this life as mild Yours is the earth, but we are here to tell you Not just a nurse—you’ll be a saint, my child!