Lake View High School - Red and White Yearbook (Chicago, IL)

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l06 Red and White of Lake View High School the forest fairy-king, and he agrees with me that there will he much griev- ing at this event. Poor little dears, you are expected to weep so long and so loud, that we have already arranged that your ac- cumulated tears will be used to fill the swimming pond, in which the new set of forest folk may take salt baths. Those tears left over will be packed in fire extinguishers for use in clean- ing the cactus. just guess what we're going to do with your wild shrieks of sorrow! Since we are a practical in- stitution, these shrieks are expected to loosen the roof of the Lake View Forest and this is very good, for it will be so much easier to add on a few stories to the forest roof as Lake View must be larger, for animals are packing in, in hordes. Prevously, we were going to add on from the bottom up, but you have saved us much work. I hope some of our great lions will succeed in their leadership in the zoo as well as in our little forest. l just know our sprightly deers will attain success as the zoo's head chorus in the annual musical comedy Zoo Step- persf' Our singing birds will certain- ly add to the Zoo Steppersn also. Perhaps our fish will capture swim- ming prizes in the Zoo's lagoon as they did in our brook meets. I could go on and on, little friends, picturing the forest folks' futures but time and space forbid me. You do not know how it grieves me to call this - - THE END. -Erna B. Hczzcrllzan. Q Q Q sh. Q.. .0 Real Horoscopery Using hyperbole only moderately, we can say that the replies to last month's horoscope article were tre- mendous. Long confidential letters, outlining the individual cares and re- sponsibilities of so many souls, showed us that our last month's treatise on this subject impressed everyone with its truth and sincerity. To be able to answer these thousands of letters would be beyond our capacity and as a result, only the letters that ex- ceeded 10,000 words are being an- swered. Holding the truth, facts, and logic before us, we will proceed to Hoping that answer these queries. we will receive divine inspiration in .Ji-' ei, E - 1, l l -5-

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Red and White of Lake View High School 105 little girl. That's a sign you're ex-A cited. QExit Virginia with a Houncej as x :if Srcuc II.-The Hall of thc H0rdlv's aparf11zc11t.rlzowilzg two closed doors. Time: An Hour Later. Enter mother, pausing at door on right: Can I help you, Virginia? Virginia: Not yet, I'm combing my hair again. Mother Qshaking her heady: It ought to look exceptionally well- groomed by now dear. Call me when you want me. A bellow issues from half opened door on the left-Bill's room: Mother! XVhere are my Hannel trousers? Darn the luck this shirt looks like Bob's been working on it. Oh, Bob! Gmere! tGiggles from living room.l Oh, ma, what tie shall I wear? Mother fquietlyl : Now Bill, there's no need for such shouting. Here are your trousers. I had them cleaned for you. Goodness me that shirt's wrinkled. I'll have to iron it. XVhat tie shall you wear? The black bow, of course, and your patent leather ox- fords. Virginia: Mother! Cmere quick! Oh, dear, oh, dear, my best stocking's got a run in it and there's a button off-and my hair looks terrific! 'What time is it, Dad? Everythings gone wrong. Isn't it hot? Gee, that run will show! lVhat'll I do? Mother goes quietly out of room to collide with Bob sneaking down the hall with his brother's watch. Inter- cepted in the act he bolts for the back door, laughing vociferously. Bill: VVhere's my watch? I laid it right here on my table! Mothe-r-r! Mother fopening Bill's door! : Here it is, Bill-Virginia, you may wear my best hose, but be careful of them. Virginia: Oh, thanks mother, that's great. Five minutes of silence reigns, then- Virginia: Mother-r-r! All ready to have you help me put on my dress. A bell rings sharply. Everybody stands still. - Mother: Father or Bill go to the door-r. Ican't. Virginia: I just know it's Tom. He's always on the dot. Mother: Hold still dear. There! You look lovely. Bill floudly at the tubej: Hello! Yeh, come up. CAsidej It's Tom. Gin. t'At the doorj Come in old man. Hot isn't it? Virginia will be ready in about a half hour. Sit down by the fan and get cooled off. Oh, Virginia, 'I'om's here! Hurry up! Wfe want to get there for the first dance. Virginia Centers five minutes later. Tom looks his surpriselz All ready for the show boys. You introduced Tom to mother and father, didn't you Bill. That's line. Amid laughter and jests they de- part. W'hat do mother and father do? Mother worries for fear Virginia will be out plenty after midnightg and Dad worries for fear the car will be wrecked. '-C0l'iIllIC Bj ilIjlft7Il. Bedtime Stories for Seniors THE GRAND FINALE I dedicate this last Bedtime story to our turtle doves, little Dovey Graham and little Dovey VX'hitaker who have kept us forest folk together in harmony. .-ldivu! I lzazw' foo grieved a heart to take a tedious Icavv. 5'l1akc.rjn'are. Dear little readers: I foresee a great disaster falling upon my little senior forest-folk. You are all, I hope, graduating from the forest preserves into the great wide zoo. I already know a most disreputable wretch, known as Time, who has cap- tured you and he will give you a mys- terious pamphlet called Diploma which ushers you into the world zoo of animals. Dearest little people, you will take those horrible manuscripts and march forth boldly into the big zoo, ready for a long stayg and oh, my dears, what a sad, sad event. I have already spoken to our big chief, Mr. Brownie,

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Red and White of Lake View High School 107 spite of the fact that we aren't in- voking the muses, we proceed. To D. XV. Your field is the world of poetry. If your magazine and book publish- ers get too much excited over your work, change your style. Good poetry is never really appreciated till its author is dead. Poetry in its best sense is caviar to the general-as one of your fellow literary men would say. If your poetry is unappreciated shut yourself in the attic room and starve writing it. Your end ought to be tragic. It's the greatest advertise- ment for one's work. To E. M. You have shown your responsibility in the past so we suggest that you be a business woman. You may have a great deal to offer the world. You might even be president of the young ladies' sewing circle that will distin- guish itself by making clothing for the destitute strikers' wives and chil- dren. This is a noble cause and your soul will be blessed for your kindness. In the crystal of the future you can be seen seated comfortably in a rocker rapidly knitting sox for The Spin- ster Ladies' Board of Stocking Con- tracters , a noble task for a noble soul. T0 V. C. Vu' .nu:sC.cC our futuii: is bright. If your career is not in any way hindered, you may some day be at the head of the Tribune organization. This is quite a literary height and when you reach it, you are radical enou h, the whole word wi turn its atten- tion to your direction. Don't let this Bother you, however. Stand up for your rights. Stick to your principles. To M. E. The presidency of the United States is a good aim for your ambitions. lf there is not a majority of votes cast for your rival candidate, when you run in the election, you will easily attain the position. NVhen you are there, that is, in the White House, it may be well to remember some of your high-school acquaintances so that when you are dead and gone Chaving been heroically assassinated by per- nicious menj these very persons, pleased at their mere association with you, will write countless tales of your boyhood fame and high morality. This will tickle your sense of humor and will cause you to turn in your grave. a preceeding which might relieve you from a very monotonous po-sition. To H. Wfln. If you don't break your neck be- fore you're old enough, the place for you is the circus. Here you will have every opportunity for standing on your head, tumbling all around, and falling from great heights without fear of being obstructed by electric light fixtures. Don't think that we are trying to insinuate that your men- tal faculties are not sufhcient for other industries. A circus man must have a head. If you have much trouble getting in a circus company, which we think you won't, you might switch your life's work and be a stage man. You might shine in some of these dialogues since you know jokes that are so old that they have long been forgotten by everyone else. Quite a compliment, indeed. Unless you fail, you will get along all right. o F. E. You should be a great military eader. You look so line in the uni- orm. NV hen you are graduated from Vest Point, if there is no war in which you can show your ability, have the president start one with-well, the country won't make any difference. -lust start a war with anyone. After you have won the war, come home and after receiving your own nation's tokens of admiration, tour the world and be royally accepted by queens and kings. If what we planned for you in this reply comes true, we will be good prophets and after it all hap- pens, by dragging this out, we'll be- come famous. Harold C. Steiner.