Lake Forest College - Forester Yearbook (Lake Forest, IL)

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THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD LEADING UP TO THE FOUNDING OF LAKE FOREST COLLEGE A if fwvi X F

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BOOK ONE In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was unformed and void, and the darkness was upon the face of the deep, and the spirit of God hovered over the face of the waters. And God said: Let there be light . And there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good, and God divided the light from the darkness. And God called the light Day and the darkness He called Night. And there was evening and there was morning. . .one day. The Almighty continued to create for the next five days, and on the seventh day He rested. Early the next morning He awoke and created the college. Over the next billion years colleges became plentiful and too numerous to exist peacefully with one another. Administrators bickered furiously and began to speak in different dialects, unable to understand each other. They had also abandoned the true liberal arts of life and turned, instead, to vocational curricula, and this upset the Almighty. To remedy this, He selected from all humankind one man, a gentle photographer named Bailey. God spoke to Bailey one day, while the gentle photographer was working in his studio. Bailey , instructed the Almighty, Build an ark and collect two of every type of professor. Gather them from all corners of the globe: from Asia, from Africa, from Europe, from the Americas, and from Passaic, New Jersey! Bring them forth unto your ark and prepare for the great flood . Bailey packed his equipment and his family and erected the ark as the Almighty had instructed him to do. Then, one night, it began to rain. And it continued to do so for forty days and forty nights, and all were wiped out except those aboard the ark. One day the rain stopped and a rainbow arched across the blue sky. Bailey navigated the ark to some dry land and began the business of repopulating the earth, and it BOOK TWO Centuries later, the Almighty once again approached a member of the human race and sent him on a mission. It was Eugene, an idol-maker's son, whom God contacted one day. Eugene, this is God . The deep voice caused the shelves to shake. The young boy looked around the dusty room and became frightened. Don't be alarmed, I need your help . Eugene looked around and asked, But how can I help you God? I am just a young boy . Eugene , God explained, I need you to leave this idolatrous place and set forth to the promised land to begin a new college . A Eugene pushed his glasses up his sweat-covered nose and listened for more instructions. l'But where will l begin this college? What will I do? he asked. H V The Almighty cleared his throat and said, ln a forest by a lake! The Almighty once again cleared his throat and added, Don't worry, Eugene. When you are ready l will once again call you to me. Meanwhile, prepare yourself to wander the earth and amass your faculty. I want you to choose the finest from all there is ' was good.