La Fontaine High School - Lacohi Yearbook (La Fontaine, IN)

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E IOR CLASS PROPHECY Setting: It is the year 1968. The place is LaFontaine, Indiana. The community's first attempt at intercontinental ballistic missiles is being performed. A rocket launching platform has been erected on t.he high school tennis courts, and the physics class is preparing to send a satellite around the world. It is equipped to report the activities of individuals in all parts of the world. Ah, there is the instructor who has aroused the interest of the students and is directing this project, Mr. Casey Jervis. Who is it we see leaning against that tree? Why, it's the aged Mr. Robert Humbert from Washing- ton D. C. , where he is director of scientific affairs in the Pentagon. We hardly recognize him with that long white beard. fHe has aged rapidly.J We understand that Mr. Humbert was a former science teacher at LaFontair1e and came to observe the experiment. We see Mr. Jervis taking his place at the controls. Four - three - two - one - blast off! ! There it goes! The citizens are really excited. It is taking several sheriff's reserves to quiet them. Speak- ing of sheriff's reserves, that one looks familiar. Oh, yes, it's Larry Cooper. Buzz - buzz, our satellite is transmitting its first report. It seems to be hovering over the estate of a Mr. Elvis Presley in Hollywood, California. Believe it or not, it is picking up an image of Mr. Presley. The famed rock and roller is being treated by his personal chiropractor. Why, the chiro- practor is Dr. Robert Stewart, a former student of L, H, S, Elvis isn't as young as he once was, and he knocks himself so out-of- joint when he entertains that Dr. Stewart has to give him a complete over- haul after each performance. Now Spertnik is above the blue Pacific. There is Hawaii. We're receiving another message. The camera is relaying an image of a group of native girls clustered around an object. Now the girls are demonstrating a hula. Just as we thought, the object in the middle is the long lost Phil Speicher. He seems to be taking life easy and hoarding his money. Russia is now under observation. What? It can't be! But it is! It's Herman Enyeart. So, Her- man has turned traitor - fur trader. There he is now, running his trap line in Siberia. Spertnik is over China now. Swishsh! Put it in reverse! fThis is a very remarkable satellite. J We thought we caught a glimpse of a former L, H, S. 'er. Sure enough, it's Pearl Neussendorfer. She was chauffeur for the girls at LaFonta.ine I-ligh and trained to be a stewardess, but she is now engaged in another field of transportation. She runs the fastest ricksha service in Hong Kong. Here is another image from Spertnik. This time it's from the heart of India. We see a mission- ary teaching little Indian children to sing Jesus Loves Me. Bring the smelling salts quickly! The missionary is Pat O'Banion.

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Boom, boom, boom - Spertnik is relaying the rhythm of the native drums of dark Africa. The na- tives are restless tonight. 'They have a large pot of boiling water surrounding Donald Brane. After doing the photography work for the LACOI-ll in 1958, he went on to bigger photography jobs. We understand that he is for perhaps wasj filming jungle life there in Africa. Our correspondent from the moon is now reporting. Why it's none other than Larry Floyd. He volun- teered to ascend to the moon in his private rocket and report on the satellite as he sees it. We now hear shouts of olay and brave. Spertnik is hovering over a bullfighting arena in Spain. The toreadores are entering. The one closest to the bull is our old friend, Bill Lines. We always knew he could throw it. Oh, oh, there seems to be some interference. We can't get in contact with Spertnik. Alas, we've found the trouble. Spertnik got too close to the Eiffel Tower. The satellite is transmitting from the Folies Bergere in Paris. That can-can dancer looks familiar. Now we recognize her: it's Ruby Hollen- back. We hear that she is also working part time as a Paris fashion model. Bong, bong - Big Ben is announcing the hour. Yes, we're in London, England. We are receiving an image from the Paladium. No one looks familiar. Wait a minute. There is a huge chartered bus parked by the stage door. It has printed on it, World Renown All-Star Girls' Professional Basketball Team: manager - Chuck Steidle. Oh, that figures: at LaFontaine High Chuck was interested in athletics and girls. I-low clever of him to combine the two interests. Jamaica is where the action centers now. Spertnik has spotted Judy Walters. She is working in a night club as a calypso dancer. What?! The Satellite is back on course. As a matter of fact it is over New York City. We are receiving signals from Madison Square Garden. There is our old schoolmate, Janice Eppley. She tells us her ex- periences as cheerleader at L. H, S, proved beneficial in later life. She leads a very active life. You've guessed it! She's a lady wrestler and has a bout tonight with Big Bert.ha at Madison Square Garden. Here comes Spertnik right over LaFontaine. It is transmitting an image from our own community. Why, it's the former Shirley Keiffer, now Mrs. Tom Rust. When she was in high school Shirley had. aspirations to be C. P, A. However, we must have misunderstood, for we thought she meant certified public accountant, but she is now employed by the local grade school as a Child Psycho-Analyst. QThis younger generation, you knowlj She must be well versed on this subject for she has ten little problems of her own. fFive sets of twins. J As our satellite begins it's second cycle around the earth, we find that the signals are growing faint- er and the images dimmer, but we feel that our experiment with the intercontinental ballistic missile was indeed a success.