LST (925) - Naval Cruise Book

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though, just give him a cube of yeast and a can of apricots. What Hap- pened? Yep! He's the boy who makes the light, tasty-sinkers. He's pretty lucky now though: he's got old jake Harding making the holes. ls he a changed' man since those pretty nurses gave him a once over in the hospital! He's even trying to out- Miller Miller- as the most asiatic Asiatic. You've all probably heard of Bube Goldberg. Well, he's NCT aboard, but the jerk he gets his ideas from IS. One of his gismos actually worked: a percolator made out oftwo five- inch shell containers and one ink bottle. l saw his plans for a garbage can-washing machine and an elec- tric ice cream freezer, and were they duzies! Mid puffs on his Sherlock Holmes, he confided to me that his next one is going to be a Watermelon de-seeder. Where were you on the night of l9l2 B. C.? Come on, quit stalling and talk up or l'll use this hunk of hose on ya! Ofcourse, all most cops do is breakup kids' ball games, but this one is different. He can tell you how he broke up the New York City gambling racket single handed. He sent up thirteen kids he caught flip- ping for match covers, lt is rumored that father Moyer nearly met with' catastrophe when steering aft during the special sea detail., As usual, he was comfortably crapped out on a coil of manila when his Christmas stogie became serious- ly entangled in the cables because, you know who, suddenly gave full left rudder and all back seven. A close bunk-mate to Moy is the short lad with the long drawl. Quote: We all, just want all, to get home all, ya all he-ah, unquote. Big john also has excellent reasons for want- ing to get home! Hope the local retail stores keep their delivery boys in the day johnny comes marching home. john used West as a sparriflq IDCITTTIGI for his conditioning periodsp West in turn took advantage of the exercise and shaped up for his match with Ewing. 4 P. T. Furr's great tent show did disclose some hitherto undreamed of talents in our one and only Har- rison Brown Smith, the THIRD. The aristocrate from Princeton seriously upset all professional wrestling when he ignominiously pinned our hither- to undefeated champ, Chopper, the Angle, Bugler Ann Gradisherf' lt looked so easy, too! H. B. is planning to return to school soon-after a year or two of rest. T We have another lad who has been inquiring about a college edu- cation, but what he plans on taking they don't teach in any advanced courses, and he is'WAY beyond the elementary stage by now. How Shaw can wear the good conduct ribbon and get away with what he gets away with is a mysteryg but then we USNB boys got the condensed train- ing program, and a few of the more intimate subjects were omitted. Freud had been dropped from the ciricu- lum. Therer is nothing quite so disheart- ening as to have some unapprecia- tive lunkhead make uncompliment- ary remarks about your swell de- hydrated potatoes, especially after you have put in long, grueling hours all day over a hot stove. just ask Bender. After holding up the chow line just to give some undeserving lad a piece of heart-warming ad- vice, he usually retreats with the statement, l 'love to hear you gripe brother, so just keep it up. Chop! Chop! l Well, we're under way at last. How do you know? Easy. just take a look at Green Hornet Kelley. A little invasion and a few japs sem to have changed Kel- ley a bit, and he has stopped going

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THE ASIATICS What do I know about the crew of the 925? Well mister, if I were to tell you all I know aboutvthose boys I would be talking for a long time land a couple of skeletons would rat- tle quite noisilyl but perhaps I can give you an idea of what they are like by telling you about a few of the more exemplary members. I guess a good place to start would be on that fateful night in Lingayen Gulf. Yep, that night when we were so rudely awakened was surely filled with many a strange and humorous incident. lust ask feather-merchant Zeiss. To this day he can't figure out why his twelve gauge shotgun re- fused to blast those Nips out of the water. Of course, the fact that he was using thirty caliber ammunition did- n't have any bearing on the case at that time. Turk Schneider, our strictly USN man, had quite a time too. I'Ie was on the fantail drinking his forty-third cup of joe when he heard some kind of gibberish down by the waterline so he leaned out over the rail and bellowed down in true coXwainly fashion, Say, wot in the ell's goin on down there? The rather impolite answer which he re- ceived was sufficient to satisfy his curiosity. Must have thought one of those laps didn't like him. No towels with the shower, either! Poor Pop I-Ieffner had a legitimate gripe, and probably gave vent to his long pent- up emotions as he groped around in the dark for those pearly choppers which the Nips had blown right out of his mouth. Plunger in hand, he raced for his battle station, only to fall back down through an open hatch and begin the search all over again. Pop wasn't haIDDY unless he had the short end of the stick, and he certainly had it that night. I.et's leave the battle .zone now and see what some of the boys do during the working!?! day. First of all there is bother Berkeley. I-Ie keeps one eye on his brood and the other on that sacred. solitaire game which he is always playing on the sick bay desk. The statistics he keeps show that out of ll,394,7l91A1 games of var- ious species he has won-3. You can see that he has perseverence. Of course, I must tell you about that fellow who just' came aong for the ride, old Yunk we call him. I-Ie claims to be Irish but with a name like that, plus a nose LIKE THAT I am a bit dubious. It is rumored that he has been the subject of many well known rhymes. Anyone can tell you! After our little mishap in Lingayen everybody was missing numerous items of clothing which were SUP- POSEDLY trapped in the squashed laundry compartment. A post mortem uncovered two of Frietas' skivvy shirts, but the explanation is not so baffling when you consider the fact that Yum Lum and Eddie have been shipping home numerous pack- ages ever since, and they have been bragging about their post war ambi- tions-the operation of an Army- Navy store. Not very subtle Eh! Advice on the body comes from that man with the perfect physique, Dewey Miller. I-Iave you ever no- ticed that build? It reminds me of a l926 Franklin with an underslung chassis and a spare in front of the radiator. Scuttlebutt has it that Dew- ey has been modeling for Form- Fit. I-Iis feature was a girdle boast- ing three way support! Dewey and Dewey have been seen together recently entertaining some of the shipyard cuties. While Dewey Sen- ior was making a floperoo of line number forty-seven, Dewey junior was making a hit with all the gals. No flies on his jungle juice cordials

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down every time the anchor comes up. Looks like the hiccup cure is good for sea-sickness, too. Eh, Hoov- er! All right! Hit the deck. Hey you! Drop your - and grab your - l You know there is something mighty fun- ny about an MAA. Perhaps it is be- cause of the fact that he wasn't born, but just quarried. For example, take Schmidt. He is about the mostincon- siderate human being alive in the morning, especially if he knows you have ben out to a late church social. Please get out of your sacks fel- lows, 95 .... GUS.. ..., G. And a mighty bellow sends Pappy Iensen's sweet and sour running for cover, tails twitching. You know, Iensen can spend hours telling you about that time in-, and when I was, and every story ends up with a tattoo. That black panther must remind him of some cute little cat with sharp claws. I wonder if he really thinks the Hula Girl is worth what she cost him? I You'd never know it, but there are two people aboard who know some- thing about Minnesota and The Great Inland Empire. Gne of them is smart enough just to keep his mouth shut and avoid all embarrass- OUR COMMON PRAYER Now I lay me down to nap, . With someone's feet next to my map. Please let some other sailor take The mid-watch, or the four to eight. Lord, guard me in my tired sleep, And keep this old bucket, the 925, moving along smoothly o'er the briny deep. I pray no air raids me will wake, But let me sleep 'till dawn doth break. I'll dream of eating Sirloin steak, And top it off with Hoover's cake. God keep us while we move at large, And let us hit no ammo barge. I wish it were a feather bed, The sack whereon I rest my head, A bed away from all these scenes, Of' horror and of half-baked beans. I'd rather live in army camps Than swab at night by battle lamps, ment, but the other is consatntly wal- lowing through the land of lakes, singing its praises in rugged bar- ber shop, and dreaming of those delicious steaks he is going to diet on when he gets back home. But then it takes a pretty healthy kid to stand those cold winters. With Mr. White on leave, the wardroom ice- box has finally gotten cooled down below the freezing point for the first time since leaving Lingayen Gulf. It's just a matter of will power, my boy! You can ask Yung Yoe. Our Captain existed on stewed bread crusts and roast celery leaves for more than a week. He wasn't going to let his appetite get the better of his figure, no sir! But he almost was kept in the Americas as an essential entertainer. The Panamanian Gov- ernment was seriously considering retaining him. lt can be ,seen easily that our crew is made up of a bunch of normal, healthy Americans. A few of them have suffered NO ill effects from the war, and one says he is going to re- fuse the bonus, but these are excep- tions. You can say safely, therefore, that we are all typical examples of Uncle Sam's Wartime Navy: land- lubbers at heart. Gr work all day for Iip-Ioint-Ioe Where Gooding's smoke would never blow. I wish that gobs had clean washed clothes, But God, Thou knowest all our woes. Please take me home, I'll promise then I'll never sign for four again. I'll trade my blues and khaki boots For one of Brooklyn's new Zoot. Suits. Our Father, who art in Washington, Please grant that I may get away From food served on a metal tray, Please add a point most every day , For things we've done the Navy way. If you'll forgive my awful past, Those things for which I went to mast, I'll be the best lad 'neath the sun. I pray you'll not this year refuse To send me on a homeward cruise.