LST (925) - Naval Cruise Book

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IT WAS AND SHALL BE The tale which l am about to tell is one which has haunted me for months. lt has stirred my deepest im- agination and has made my inner being revolt against itself. lt was re- lated to me by a corpulent Furr trad- er during my most recently fishing expedition in the far reaches of the Mediterranean. He seemed to have been empowered by some supernat- ural being, for his mind and his tongue were not guided from within. That was impossible. The year in which the events took place must have been about 70 AD., as closely as l can estimate, and the setting for this adventure was the country of Usa, a small province in a remote corner of the then civilized world. ln order that this story will seem as real to you as it did to me, l shall relate it, not as if it happened hundreds of years ago, but as if it were happening now, and l were there to see it all. And it came to pass that as l went down into the land of Usa, l was accosted by a traveling sales- man, and his name was Yunker, and he was known by every farm- er's daughter, and he saith unto me, VV hither goes thou and whom dost thou seeketh? And l answered him saying, l seek the three Great Prophets, Bell, Kelley and Hoover, that l may learn of their teachings and become great in wisdom and honored by all men. And Yunker giveth to me of his sam- ples after which he directeth me to an lnn, wherein dwelled the keeper Smith and his two faithful victualists Bender and Higgins. And when l had entered in, they didst feed me and nourish me and didst give me of their company. And 1 while l didst talk with these men, be- hold, there didst enter five merchants selling feathers. And their names were revealed to me as Molloy, West, Gooding, Hamill and House- holder. And l saw that they argued and they could not agree. One- as- serteth that they were all sure to make millions, yet another said it was useless, and he bathed himself in mountainous waves of self pity and waileth and bemoaneth his fate at the hands of the notorious money changer, Carnivale. ' And then l didst perceive that they were sore afraid, for'the almighty, ever-powerful and omnipotent Foyle had declared that all feather mer- chants who breathed the breath of life should be stoned to death. When Smith heard this wailing and gnash- ing of teeth, Cstore teeth? lo, he didst call upon his singers, Shumake and Graddy, for entertainment, that their spirits might be gladdened. Now their spirits were revived with music and spirits, and it came to pass that the heralds, Fekete and L ath a m, an- nounced the arrival of those three great, wealthy, lovable and hand- some Rajahs of the Realm, Lovern, lVlcPhall and Tomassog who entered straightway in and were seated on silken cushions and didst order wine. And when their thirsts had been assuaged, lo, they didst summon their harem attendants, Furst, Holden and Galloway, and straightway bade them to make all things straight, right away. And l could now see that Smith's lnn was a meeting place for many of the people of Usa, and as l sat, hoping that l should see others of these people, there didst enter three sinister looking, cloaked figures who slinketh about, talking sternly and threateningly, and they

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cigl deluxe cgke. After chow cr little sgck duty is the order of the dgy, otnd the crgp-out session in the crew's! gugrters corn be topped nowhere. l hegr the big- gest sgck-wgrmer is Cogtney. Of course, there is one other noon hour pctstime. Let's see, what do they cotll thott gorme? Ch, yes! Poker! You ploty it with mgtches. For most of us the l3OU TURN TO' comes too soon, lout with ct little boost we find our- selves toiling CP! dggin. Out on deck Storm is fgshioning gtnew fender with the orlole ctssistgnce of lrforsul, gnd the contents of the burn logrrel. We use quite g few of these for one regson or gnother. And there is Prest- wood giving out with his lgtest gripe. l like to go' up into the bow cmd stick my nose into the breeze. Now there is C1 plgce where you cdn find or good bull session gt otny hour- the how lookouts who see nothing, hegr nothing, cmd tell dll. Whgt or tecrm-l-lgggdone, Brygn, Kodcmko otnd Gordon. Evening chow consisting of horse megt,'.' !thgt's right, thort second word is megtl hgs come cfnd gone, ornd I settle down to heotr Mr. Molloy forecgst the next moves of our sev- enteenth division gs it preporres to invgde Mug Mug islgnd. And, of course, Mr. Cooke hors to tell his lgt- est jokegwhich is still pretty new. l-ie's only told it six times so fgr this month. l crm gbout to get rectdy to hit the sorck when A. L. Dctvis reports thgt it is now time for me to relieve Mr. Flynn. l mgke or mgd dgsh for the Conn Cit torkes me ten minutes to get therel, gnd with the customcrry lt's yours, l find myself sitting in the O0D's chorir with the rginlSory, this is where l cgme in. West--whgt time is it? Midnight! Oh, well, there's nothing like or mid- wgtch to stgrt or perfect dgy. A y Stores Division

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didst carry small sections ot lead pipe, and l was told that these were men of the new world, called union organizers. And they were called Bailey, B o g er s and Taggart, and they were. ' My conversation was enlightened by two strangers who sat down with me and didst sup with me, and they didst speak as wise men but they were not, for they were politicians, and they were named Miller and Nunziato. They didst tell me of all manner of evil things which had come to pass in Usa since the arriv- al of these three sinister ones and their ten helpers who were called agitators, and were named Brown, Dailey, Eschenbrenner, Ferguson, l-less, Kovacevich, Ol'Brien, Weiss and Green. They had surrounded the elephant race track and had beaten the elephant track owners, Ashton and Sedlitz, and they had told the elephants that they might not race but must sit down: and they had not allowed the four qreat in- ventors, Cooke, Storm, Ewing and Greeson to complete their experi- ments on their new tender-crane-pipe wrench-pogo stick until they had paid tithes, which they called dues. And all 'the people of Usa were sore afraid of these men, and it came to pass that the messenger Davis was dispatched to summon the wise men that a solution might be sought tor this dilemma. And when the wise men came and heard, they didst weep and mourn and didst call upon the High Priests Prestwood and Shull for prayer and wisdom in their time of need. And the three younger wise men, l-leitner, McBee and M o y e r didst elect the oldest and wisest wise man, White, to speak for them. And White summoned all of the honest citizens and they came: Bev- erly, Massey, Cullen, Mote, Hurst, and Golden, and they didst listen to White and the wisdom he had to Communications Division